Never look back
by sweetowl173
Summary: Bella thought she had it all. The great apartment in New York, the handsome fiancé and a perfect best friend but what happens when she notices she got some facts wrong. Life has to get worse before it's get better. Who could help? Maybe your old childhood friend? Rated M for future Lemons. Pregnant Bella
1. Perfection

**Hi!**

**This is my first try - I hope you liked it. English isn't my first language so excuse me my mistakes. Should I continue this story? Please write me a review so I can start working on a second chapter - Love, R.**

**Before people start to trash me - I found some inspiration in "Something blue" by Emily Giffin  
**

* * *

_There comes a time in a girl's life when she begins to see her life in a more realistic light. No Prince Charming or a knight in shining armor standing guard to save her from the mean old dragon. No one who's always there to fulfill her desires. But that's not my case. At least not until today._

Hello, my name is Isabella and my life is perfect. A great fiancé, the amazing Upper East Side apartment in New York and a body which most of the women would kill for.

My life could be a movie. I grew up in a small town called Forks and had the best childhood. My family was the example for the perfect picture-book family: my mother the housewife, my father the successful doctor, my smart brother and me. Sure, I might be not the smartest person around but I had one huge benefit - I'm beautiful. I had my mother's auburn curls and my father's rich blue eyes.

Early in my life I learned the most important lesson: There is a pecking order and that appearance is a part of it. Each morning my mother braided my silky hair into beautiful hairdos. In kindergarten all the little girls tried to touch my hair, most of them had ugly short haircuts. With pleasure they shared their dolls with me. With different words: When I was four years old I realized that beauty brought privilege and power.

And this never changed. I belonged to the Créme de la Créme in Junior High and then in High School. But not like in John-Hughes-movies - popularity didn't make me mean. I despised all the cliques and stayed faithful to my best friend Angela. I was popular enough to make my own rules.

My best friend Angela lived next door. To be honest we are quiet different. We went together to school and were roommates at the University of Washington. Angie is pretty, I guess. She has blonde long hair and eyes hidden behind glasses. Nothing special but she was smart. I was the beauty and she the brain. It was always like that. At college she studied law and I just took some classes. College wasn't my thing. My things were parties and cute guys. With my long auburn curls and the curves at the right place it was easy to get the attention of men. My plan was to find husband-material and I did. Well, Angie saw him first but I got him.  
Ben is my Mr. Perfect: Tall, brown curls and a cute smile. He and Angie visited the same classes.  
One evening I took Angie out to celebrate my birthday at a bar in Seattle. When Ben entered the bar I knew he was the one. He looked like a fashion model thar jumped out off an ad. I think he searched his friends but when he recognized Angela, he approached us.

"Hey Angela I thought you don't like drinking in bars", Angela blushed.

"Oh Ben. You know, my friend Bella here wanted to celebrate her birthday. Sorry, Ben this is Bella best friend and Bella this is Ben", as she stammered I already saw my fairytale. Maybe Angela red face was a sign but I ignored it. I wanted Ben for myself.

"So you are the mysterious Ben. Angela can't shut up about you. Sit down and have a drink with us" This was part of the game and it worked. He stayed with us and a few weeks later we had our first date. Back then I didn't thought about Angela's crush for Ben. She would get over it. They were too alike to be together. Since then we were a team. After we graduated we all moved to New York, my second love. New York had everything what I needed. I was a city girl and finally found my place.

For the next few years Labels and Love were my life. The only thing what I missed was the sparkly ring on one of my fingers. Patience is a virtue that I don't own. I'm 29 years old and I don't get younger. But as always Ben didn't disappoint.  
Last Valentine's Day after a romantic dinner Ben finally proposed. The first thing I did when we were home in our amazing apartment, I called Angela. She is like a sister to me and I wanted her to be my maid honor. She was happy for me but wasn't excited. I thought the reason for that was because it was in the middle of the night but I was so wrong.

The months were filled with planning, exercises and more planning. My wedding would be huge just like I wanted it. My Vera Wang dress didn't deserve less. Everyone should see the Happy End of my fairytale. But there was no fairytale with a little drama – never forget that!

Right now I'm standing in the doorway of Angela's apartment and couldn't believe my eyes. My best friend, the shy woman, was having sex with my fiancé. Correction: My life _was_ perfect!

* * *

**Okay I think you noticed this Bella isn't that likeable... but have faith in her - she will change. But before things get better they have to get worse otherwise she won't realize her mistakes and flaws... Oh and I also don't support cheating but it's a big part of my plot. **


	2. Victory

**Hi, **

**I hope you liked the new version of the first chapter. This is the second chapter. The next chapter will take two or three days. Have fun. And again I hope there aren't too many mistakes **

**Warning: some strong language**

* * *

I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. The last time I felt this feeling was over ten years ago. Actually it was a real punch in the stomach. It was prom night my date was the leader of our basketball team. Josh was my matching part in High School. Every girl in school was jealous of me beside Angela. She thought prom was yet another event that was overrated. But she was my best friend and I wanted her at my side when they would announce that I was prom queen. She should be part of this important moment. Problem one – she had no date. This problem was rather easy to fix. I just asked one of Josh friends and with a little flirting he agreed. I always get what I want. The second problem Angela had no dress. She was one oft he girls who loved it comfortable. Jeans and Chucks every day. So one day I asked her to go with me for dress shopping in Seattle. Angie was loyal and most of the times she agreed to everything like this time.

"You know Mike asked me yesterday if you had a date for prom. I think he will ask you tomorrow" I mentioned when I tried a gold dress on.

"Bella how often do I have to tell that I hate prom? I'm not one of the girls who get excited over a dress or their date of the evening. I will enjoy my time at home and read a book" I should have been hurt but I ignored Angie's comment.

"Please reconsider. Even Edward will go", Edward was a friend of ours. He moved to Forks when his mother remarried. His Stepfather Carlisle was my father's partner in his practice. Edward was more like Angela. He loved books and science projects.

"Edward will go with his girlfriend. I never talked with this Mike", Angela looked at a black cocktail dress.

"You should try this one. I beg you, say yes to Mike. We could have so much fun", Yes, I begged but it always worked with Angela.

Everything was great at prom. I wore my golden dress and was prom queen. Late in the evening I was a little tipsy and went outside for fresh air. There was my best friend in her black dress crying.

"I told you this was a stupid idea, Bella. Mike just left with Jessica. What a great date", I felt sorry for her. This was kind my fault and I felt sorry for her. So I took her by the hand and searched the love couple. It was easy to find them. Jessica and Mike made out on the hood of his car. Without thinking dragged Jessica by her hair. To make it short – we ended up fighting. Unfortunately I was too drunk to react fast. Jessica was a little chubby and stronger than me. Of course she got me. Before I could defend myself Edward came and hold me. Mike the idiot this nothing. Nowadays I think he liked it. He probably thought I was jealous or something. Angie was right he was a huge idiot. Sure it was not my smartest moment but Angela was my best friend and back then I thought it was a good idea to fight with Jessica.

The only comment from Edward: "K.O. victory for Jessica." He was more Angela's friend and enjoyed my misery.

It was also the last time I heard this expression until to this cab ride.

"Wow", the driver said with thick accent, " K.O. victory for your friend."

"Yes, you could say that."

My loyal, reliable Angela, my best friend my whole life, who put always my interest ahead – or at least next – hers, got me like Jessica. Out of the blue. The big surprise hurt me the most. The fact that I never thought something like this could happen.

To be honest, it wasn't that easy like I told the driver. But he shouldn't lose sight of the essence: what Angela has done to me. I made some mistakes but I never betrayed our friendship.

It was three weeks before my wedding date. I drove to Angela because I wanted to tell her that there would be no wedding. Both Ben and I agreed that we should end things. The reason: I had an affair with one of his colleague, Riley. It wasn't planned and it just happened. I was worried how Angela would react because a few weeks ago Rachel went on a date with Riley. They never met again because of me. I had a guilty conscience – I cheated on Ben and on Angela. She always understood me so she had to understand me now.

I tried calling her but no one answered the phone. When Angela and I moved into our apartments we exchanged keys for emergencies. For me my break up with Ben was an emergency. When I opened the door I didn't know how to react.

"This has to be bad joke. You liar", I screamed. There on the kitchen table my maid in honor and my ex-future husband were fucking. I began to hyperventilating. I knew drama. I lived from drama but not from this kind. Normally I controlled it.

Ben looked at me and closed his jeans. His face showed no trace of guilt.

"You lied to me!", I screamed louder.

"This is ridiculous", he said in a normal tone. " You know what Bella: Fuck you!"

In all the years I have been together with Ben he never cursed. That was my line.

I tried again " I asked you if there was an other woman and you said no. But hell, you fucking my best friend!" I was too stunned.

"Bella think about you and Riley. Hm, People who live in a glass house should not throw with stones." He just said and walked over to Angie. I didn't know how to react so I tried it different.

"I knew it all the time" I lied through my teeth. In a million years I never thought Angela would do something like this to me.

"I hate you both and I will never stop it." Sure a bit too much but I was in shock. It sounded childish and stupid but I didn't know how to help myself. In my mind I hoped for the line "this is not what it looks like. I never cheated on you". Both of them were too calm. I boiled in rage and felt the tears in my eyes. Everything blurred. I would not cry in front of them. As I went to the door I took a last glance at my childhood friend Angela.

"You", I said with a death glare, "I never want to see you in my life again. You are dead for me!"

A perfect ending for such a scene. The two most important people in my life betrayed me. How could they?

* * *

**The first time Bella mentioned Edward. Next chapter will have more about Angela's and Bella's story. And we will meet Riley**


	3. Moment of Truth

**Chapter 3 – B POV**

Somehow I made it into the foyer where I told the concierge the highlight of my horrible day. First I break up with my fiancé and then I lost my best friend. Sure I'm not innocent in this story but this is too much.

Next there was the taxi (where I told my story again), which took me to Riley. He lived in a battered loft. As I opened the door he was sitting on the floor and played with his guitar. Riley looked up to me, his facial expression showed wonder and annoyance.

"What happened this time?" he asked.

I was angry about the 'this time' like he assumed I always had some kind of drama in my life. It's not my fault that my best friend and fiancé forgot about me and that started an affair. I told him the whole story with every detail. Riley should be disgusted. Or maybe shocked. But he told me always the same: _How can you be angry about that when you did the same _or _shouldn't be our friends happy like we are? _

Was he crazy too? _NO, WE DON'T WANT THEM HAPPY! _

Riley just smiled and started to play on his guitar.

"Why are you smiling?" I was angry and right now annoyed with him "There is nothing funny about my situation!"

"Maybe it's not the typical ha-ha funny but ironical funny"

"No, there is nothing funny and stop with the horrible jungle, Riley" He put his guitar down and tried it again "I just don't understand your reaction. We did the same to Ben."

Oh defiantly not what I wanted to hear.

"It's not the same! Sure Ben can cheat but I never did something to Angela! She is my best friend. Who would do something like that?"

"Well I went on a date with Angela and we kissed. You kind of stole her future boyfriend" Again he started to grin. I was getting annoyed with him.

"Yes one date and a long relationship is the same. With that excuse I understand Angela. What kind of people starts something with the fiancé of someone?" He can't be serious.

No he was giving me this look again. It reminds me of my father, in the bad way.

"Bella"

"Yes" I didn't like his tone.

"I am one of these people. Remember Ben is my friend and look where we are and what we have done." I started to cry. Okay, Ben and Riley were friends but it's still not the same. They work together – Angela and I were friends since forever. Nope Riley wasn't right. "Think about it. Friendships between women are holy. Angie and I were always together. You and Ben work together and played poker once a week. Not the same." I tried my bitch face. " Oh and you never acted like you were innocent. Ben behaved like a saint."

"Yes I'm not a saint."

" There is this rule. The guy from a friend is a no-go. The rule includes ex-boyfriends, ex-fiancé or husband. " My mind was rolling. There were tons of questions in my head. Was it a one-time thing? How long did they see each other behind my back? Are they in love?

Riley's reply _I don't know and to be honest I don't care._

After that I screamed, "You should care. Do something! Comfort me; tell me I'm right. Just do something!"

Finally he listened to me. He caressed my back and gave me some answers. Sure it just happened one time. Ben was desperate and Angela had pity with him.

"And what should I do now?" I asked him. I was calmer now and stopped crying. Good thing Riley had no mirror here.

"You can do nothing. Do you want something to drink? A beer?"

"Yeah alcohol is the answer to my problem. No thank you" I was time for a dramatic move. " I think I have one option. I'll kill them. It should be easy to hide bodies in New York." Of course I wasn't serious. I wanted Riley to react different but he disappointed.

"You would go to jail. No luxury there or designer clothes", he replied.

"True I could do suicide. They both will feel sorry and the guilt will it them up", I didn't want to die. I'm too young for that. Again Riley didn't react. I wanted him to react shocked. He should tell me he loves me and couldn't live without me.

"Do you think they could handle the guilt?"

"Stupid idea. After your funeral they will go to a therapist. He will tell them that it's not their fault. You had problems before blablabla."

I knew he was right. In Angela's and mine first year in college our friend Lauren Mallory shoot herself in the head because of an argument with her boyfriend Tyler Crowley. We were all shocked. Three days later I met Tyler in a class. He even smiled. He told me Lauren had always problems and his therapist advised him to continue his life. Back then I smiled and agreed.

"Well those were all my options. Maybe I could use a drink"

Later that evening I called my parents to tell them the news. My father answered the telephone. I thought my mother would react more like me so I wanted to talk with her first. They didn't know that Ben and I broke up or about my affair with Riley.

"Mom and Dad I'm so sorry but there won't be a wedding." I told her with a steady voice. Maybe I should have cried. My mother was sure it was my fault. Renée and I never had the best relationship. I was more the Daddy's little angel. Perfect Ben would never to a mistake. He was too reasonable to do something stupid. The phone call got even better when she started crying. She told me that Ben was like a son to her. I should apologize to him and beg him to take me back. Unbelievable!

In the background I could hear my father "Wait a minute Renée. Bella should tell us what happened. I'm sure she had here reason to leave him." Thank you Daddy!

And then I dropped the bomb. I told them how I saw Ben and Angela in action. How shocked I was and how I had no idea what to do next.

"Really? I can't believe it. Angela is such a sweetheart. How could she do this to you?" my father replied.

"I always thought she was jealous on you honey. She never had a serious relationship. Ben and you were such a great couple. She saw what she didn't have and reacted stupid", my mother cried. I knew she would understand me.

"Don't worry, honey. We will call everyone and cancel the wedding. You don't have to worry about a thing." Thank God I didn't have to call everyone. With Angela's and Ben's affair I had a good reason to cancel the wedding but I didn't want the pity from other people.

"You could come and visit us. Take a break from the city!" this was typical my mother. Angela's parents lived next door and Forks was so small. No designer shops and no good bars.

"Mom the offer is really nice but I can't leave everything. I have to think about my job. Work will be a great distraction." I didn't want to anger her now. We talked a little bit about work and my mother seemed to calm down.

"Did Angela apologize?" No clue why it was important now but my father always tried to see the whole picture.

"Of course she will apologize", my mother said, " And you have to stay strong. You will find a better guy. I know it. You are far too beautiful to stay alone."

"Yes babygirl, you are the most beautiful girl" my father agreed.

* * *

**Hey, **

**I know I promised some Edward. I already had the idea but then I started writing and Bella just called her parents. So next chapter I will write my original idea. So how do you like Riley?  
**

**Again sorry for my mistakes but I don't have a beta and my English is not perfect.  
**


	4. Cheating

**Hi, **

**I know Bella is a real b*tch but have faith in her. I don't want to jump too fast. I want to show you a bit of her background before she will learn and change.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 4 – B POV**

I had to think back to the moment when I met Ben fort he first time. It's ironic that Angela was the one who introduce Ben to me. I had to think back to Ben and mine first date. He called a few weeks later after our first meeting. I was that eager for him that I broke up with my current boyfriend. – Yes, I was sure Ben was the right one.

I almost felt unworthy for him. Ben was perfect. He was not just handsome. The first time I saw I knew he loved the _Times-_crossword and he would never party too hard - he was husband material. I knew I look fantastic but I was worried that I wasn't interesting or smart enough for him.

Angela was no help. She even pointed out my flaws and my disinterest to topics like the economy or problems in the third world.

One evening Ben was watching the news. Just sad news: problems here and a bad economy there. The weeks before I pretended to be like Angela. It was exhausting and enough was enough. I took the remote and changed the channel.

"Hey I wanted to watch that", Ben called.

"Sorry but I'm so annoyed with poor people" I said.

"Oh honey, I know" he chuckled.

Ben understood me. Maybe we were different but I made him happy. Most of the times I was an honest and loyal girlfriend to him. Before Riley I only had one slip-up. His name was Jacob and he was a fashion model. It happened two years ago. I met Jacob Black at a restaurant opening. The party was a huge event and went there for work. I'm a journalist. I write a small column – what's hot right now etc. Jacob was the chef and the owner of the restaurant. He was tall, had dark skin and muscles like a professional athlete.

"Okay I have to know it now", I screamed over all the voices and the music, "these muscles don't come from beating eggs, do they?"

"What? No" He laughed – it was a stupid line but it worked.

"Well when I think about chefs I don't see bodybuilder." Another stupid line but he had something and I wanted him.

"Hi, I'm Jake and you are?" He smiled beautifully. He had perfect white teeth. "I'm Bella."

"Nice to meet you Bella" he said and watched the party. We talked about his job and where we grew.

"No you have to lie. I never met you in Forks, not even in High School. This is crazy." Jake told me he lived close to Forks.

"I'm from La Push. We had our own school in the reservation." He answered smoothly. We continued to talk about Forks and I got homesick. Normally it never happens but with alcohol in the mix. One thing lead to the other and by the end of the night I was in his apartment. In my opinion cheating considers sex with the other person. Jake and I _just _kissed. It felt great and it was good to know that there were still men who were interested in me. After this evening I was the perfect girlfriend again - until Riley.

Riley and Ben worked together in the same building. Like Angela Ben was a lawyer – A really good one. They also were roommates in college. Each week they played poker together. A few months ago Ben asked me if I knew someone for Riley. I thought about Victoria. She was one of my colleague and my shopping buddy. From Ben stories I knew Riley was a wild one - so nothing for my friend Angela.

To shorten the story the double date was horrible. Riley flirted with the waitress and Victoria sat offended next him. I met Riley two weeks later again. It was Angela's surprise birthday party. Ben and Angela never got drunk but I was in the mood for it. So I sat myself next to Riley.

"Hey you are up for some drinking?" I wanted a drinking buddy and he was the lucky one.

"Sure honey" Another thing what I liked about him – he didn't talk too much. Ben never liked me drinking. When he came over I put my glass next to Riley's

"Protect me!" I knew what Ben's punishment was and I didn't like it. And he did –another thing why I liked Riley. Riley wasn't the typical handsome guy. He hand blond hair and cold blue eyes. He was never shaved. His clothes were nothing special. He wore no names and some of his shirts and jeans had holes.

I thought about Riley more often. Maybe Angie and Riley could become a couple. Ben and I were different too. It would be nice to have someone fun around me.

Our affair really started on weekend in July. I planned a relaxing weekend with some of our friends in the Hamptons. In the last minute both Angie and Ben dropped out. Their excuse was work. Because of all the stress with the wedding planning Ben and I grew a bit apart. What I mean his we didn't sleep together. Normally we had a healthy sex life but either Ben had to work or I was attending at openings or parties for work. The weekend was our chance. Of course I was angry with both but I wanted fun so I tried to ignore my anger.

There was a beach party Saturday. Riley and I danced the whole evening. You could feel the sexual tension between us. Also we had drunk a lot. Around one o'clock in the morning we went home. It was just fun. After all the Tequila I thought playing in the garden was ok. Bad move Bella!

I don't know how but we both ended up on the grass. He started to tickle me. I begged him to stop but I think we both knew that it was a lie. With one move I was on top of him and felt him – everything of him. I wasn't the only one who was turned on.

I don't know but I moved my face close to his. Our noses almost touched. Just one move and we could kiss and we did.

"I want you!" I murmured.

You know that's not possible", Riley said as his hand moved to my thong.

"But I want it now"

"No you don't" His hand started to work between my legs.

"No you are wrong. I'm sure I want _you_"

"Fuck we can't"

But it was too late. My underwear was laying next us and I had my hands in his jeans. He was hard. We both worked us in a frenzy. I didn't notice the rain until I was under him and then it happened. I would love to tell you that I thought about the aftermath but all I thought about were questions like _Why does it feel so good? Will Ben know what happened? Will Angie and Riley continue to see each other?_

It took us a while – maybe we were too drunk. But in my mind the reason why it took so long was because Riley and I had this amazing sexual chemistry.

"Wow", he said, "Fuck!" Not really the words that I wanted to hear.

"We shouldn't have done it."

"Too late" I took his hand.

He pressed my hand "Far too late…. Fuck." Not really romantic but I ignored his panic.

"You won't tell him, right?" I couldn't say his name.

"Are you crazy? No, never."

" I won't tell a soul." Suddenly I saw Angie's face with puffy eyes and tears. I felt guilty. Riley touched my wet arm.

"We should head inside. It's getting cold. A warm shower sounds good."

"Together?" I said with hope.

"No I think one time is enough", he stood up and went to the door.

Sunday I swore myself this was a one-time thing. But Ben worked more hours and I felt lonely. So I started calling Riley. When he didn't answer I send him messages. He always wrote me back. Ben's hours got worse. Sometimes he fell asleep in his office. In addition we didn't have sex since Angie's birthday party. One reason more to think about the amazing night with Riley. One day after work I decided to visit Riley. One thing leads to another and spend the night with him. Ben didn't even notice. So we continued with our pattern. Riley even gave me keys for his apartment. That day I questioned the first time if I really should marry Ben. We grew apart. Could we both be happy in our marriage?

In my mind the affair with Riley was my last rebellion before marriage – before I settle down. Now I'm happy that I had Riley. The last two weeks we spent more time together than ever. He wasn't like Ben but I liked it this way.

Last week II started to feel sick. Each morning I was hugging the toilet. At first I thought it was because all the stress and the story with Angela but then it hit me. The first night Riley and I spend together we didn't use protection. We were too drunk to think about it.

Could it be? I'm not the motherly type. When I just think about all the weight you gain and the pain of birth. Friday after work I bought three different pregnancy tests.

….

* * *

**So is she pregnant? lol I had to stop here. You will get the answer tomorrow -**

**I know this lemon was shitty and not a real lemon but do we really want to read about Riley?  
**


	5. Results

**Hi!  
**

**There are some strong reaction to Bella. I keep repeating myself. She will change. I'm still not sure if I continue the story.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 5 – B POV **

"What does it say?" Riley asked in front of him a cold pizza. He went on eating, leafing through a _Sport Illustrated._

"Congratulations Daddy!"

"No!"

"I'm pregnant."

"Please tell me you are joking."

He forgot about his magazine. I sad next to him took his hands and waited for his next move - maybe a hug or some happy tears.

"Are sure it's mine?" he said with a trace of hope in his voice.

"Yes", I snapped, "This question was really rude. You know I didn't sleep with Ben for a long time."

"And you are really sure? Not even one time?"

"Yes, I'm sure." I said determined – Thank God!

I had to think about my old friend Edward Masen. Back in high school he married his pregnant girlfriend Tanya Denali. Tanya was blonde, tall and maybe my biggest concurrence in high school. Edward was more a nerd. He was tall, wore glasses, which hide his green eyes and his hair had the weirdest bronze shade. A few months later Tanya went into labor. The baby had dark skin and black hair. Angie and I felt so sorry for him - all the heartache and the humiliation.

But now I felt sorry for Tanya. We both broke the rules – we were almost in the same situation. The wait for Tanya must have been hell. The insecurity had to be torture. I was lucky. I knew my baby's Daddy.

"Wow" I couldn't believe it. There on the table the stick with the word _pregnant _stared at me. "I never had a positive and I have done a lot of these test." That was true. I was never really careful – stupid I know.

"Maybe we should do another one. Maybe this one was wrong." Riley knew I had bought three tests from different brands.

"I believe you can never get a false positive just the other way around." I sighed and stood up to get the bag with the other two tests. I also brought the cup with my urine. Riley stared at my hand.

"What?"

"You peed into my favorite cup"

"So what?"

"I loved this cup and you just peed into it", he said horrified.

"I will clean it – don't worry!" Men!

"I will never use this cup again."

I counted until five and put the stick on the table.

"Let me see. What does it say" Riley was nervous. Not the reaction I hoped for.

"Still pregnant!"

"But the smiley face is faint. Maybe this one is broken too"

"Yes you are right. I'm just a bit pregnant" I rolled my eyes.

"And what do we do now", Riley walked through the room.

"Well in nine month we are going to be parents." I was happy. Maybe we will have a daughter. I could see her. With my eyes and Riley's smile.

"You can't be serious", he said angry, "You do know there are other options."

I took his hands in mine. "Abortion is nothing for me. I can't just kill my child." I don't why I said that. I always thought it's okay and I'm all for the freedom of choice. This child was mine and I had to protect it. I don't know why but it made me happy. This was our romantic turn in our relationship. I already saw our happy end. We would marry, buy a bigger apartment and have a beautiful daughter. I knew Riley wasn't the typical husband material but he was crazy about me. He loved me, I'm sure.

"Aren't you the slightest happy?" I asked hurt.

"I am. But we shouldn't rush our decision."

"You are hurting my feelings. I want this baby", I started to lose my patience, "And I wish you would be happy about it, too."

Riley sighed and hugged me. "Tell me you are happy!" I breathed into his ear, "Please I can't take your anger now."

"I am happy but I don't want to rush in everything. We should think more about our options." His words hurt me. This baby was a good thing and he ignored it. Ben would have been happy.

The next morning I awoke in Riley's uncomfortable bed. For a short moment I didn't know where I was. When I was still with Ben I never stayed long here. I turned around and studied Riley's face. He looked so handsome. In this moment I realized I couldn't go back. There was no Ben anymore and I had to tell people that I was together with Riley now. I would keep the baby a secret for now. When I thought about the reaction of some of my friends I got sick. I begged to God this was no morning sickness.

For a short moment I considered to tell people Ben and Angela had an affair. But I didn't want to be the loser. I was a diva and divas are always strong. For the time being I hoped the relationship between Angela and Ben stays a secret.

"Riley wake up" the thoughts about my ex best friend bothered me.

"Hmm" He didn't open his eyes and moved closer.

"Do you think they will be serious?" I didn't have to say their name.

"I already told you my answer" He talked about yesterday. I asked the same question as we watched a movie. His answer was no.

"Tell me again"

"No, I don't think they are together." Ten minutes until I have to get up for work. Ten minutes filled with thought about the two most ignorant people I knew.

At work I decided to write a message to all my friends. It was the easiest way. I was Riley's idea.

_Hello everyone. _

_With this message I want to tell you that there won't be a wedding. It was a difficult decision but Ben and I think it's for the best. I know such a personal message to spread with an email is weird but for me it's the easiest way and less painful. _

Perfect, emotional and not too depressed. The most important thing: I didn't need to tell the reason and people won't ask about it. Now what should I write as title. Should I write "Wedding?" or "Cancellation"? I just wrote "Wedding news". The message was more important.

* * *

**Suprise, suprise she is pregnant. **

**Riley is such a good boyfriend^^ How did you like the little Edward part? Now you know at least something about him. I'm not sure but I think we will meet him the firt time in 4 or 5 chapters. Do you actuelly want chapters in E POV?  
**


	6. Suprise

**Hi! I love your reactions to mean Bella. Today I will post two chapters. :D I got no answer to my question in last chapter..maybe some of you have a minute to leave me a message. **

**See you later!  
**

* * *

Chapter 6 – B POV

Telling my parents was one thing, sending the message to everyone an other thing. Just as I wanted to hit _send_ one of my colleague went to me.

"Are you coming or did you forget the meeting?"

"Which meeting?" I never forget stuff at work.

"Maybe Victoria forgot to tell you. It's about this one event." I didn't which event she meant but played it cool. "Of course. Wait for me."

"SURPRISE!" And there was the whole office. Every one congratulated me. In middle of the room on a table was one present wrapped in blue paper – Tiffany's. Next to it was a big cake.

"Got you! I knew you believed we would throw you are party next week but here we are." Victoria screamed happy. This was the perfect chance for my drama.

"You shouldn't have done this", I said with a small voice.

"Of course, this is your bridal party."

"No really."

Vic came closer to me. She looked worried "Say something."

"For the first time I'm speechless." That was a lie it was the second time.

"Impossible!" Victoria smiled, "I know you for years and you were never speechless." I cleared my throat and I smiled decent. " I'm thankful to all of you but there won't be a wedding. I won't marry Ben."

They thought I joked. "Yes sure Bella."

"No really. Ben and I decided this would be better." Nothing it was quiet and then you could her expressions like _No! Never! You were the perfect couple!_

Like a good friend Vic grabbed my hand and went with me to the Ladies room. "Tell me what happened." I could see the worry in her eyes. I just had to tell her. No, I needed to tell her. Tears were forming in my eyes as I saw Angie and Ben in my mind. So I told her the story.

"No, they did not!" Victoria hold my hand. "How could they?"

"I know. Please don't tell it the others. It's so embarrassing that my maid in honor stole my fiancé." I looked down.

"I promise you. I won't tell a soul. I can't believe it." She hugged me briefly, "Did you talk to Angela about the thing?"

"What? No, I hate her."

"I understand you. I don't get Ben. She is so _simple. _Nothing special like you." My first reaction was to defend Angela. She was like a sister to me and now she treated me like dirt. I saw in Victoria's face that she thought she had chance as my new best friend. She was a nice girl. More fun than serious – so why not?

"Now you are my best friend!" Vic hugged me again and told me she would take of the _party._

I went back to my table and read my mail again. "Victoria when you are finished. Could you read an email for me. Tell me what you think?" This was normally Angela's job but now that she is gone.

"Sure." And that's the story how I told my friends that I was single again.

* * *

I know shortest chapter but the next part will be longer


	7. Talk

**Hey,  
**

**second chapter for the day. Have fun. As always: I don't own Twilight.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 7 – B POV**

The first time I really believe I was pregnant, was one week later, at my first appointment with the gynecologist. Riley only came along because I reached to his conscience. When we waited in the anteroom, he looked like I killed his puppy. As one assistant called out my name, I stood up. "Come on Riley"

"Can't I stay here or wait at a café?" he asked with hope in his voice. The women next to him with her husband gave him a dirty look.

"You stand up now! I hissed. His behavior was embarrassing. He did it and groaned. We followed the assistant to a scale.

"With all my clothes on?" I asked. Normally I only weighed myself naked and in the morning and sometimes after my work out.

"Yes" She was in a hurry. I gave my heavy bracelet to Riley and asked him nicely to look away. He only rolled his eyes. 126 pounds.

"Without my clothes I weigh 124 pounds", I said. Even after my objection she wrote down 126 pounds. I glared at her.

"How tall are you?" She asked.

"5' 8'", no need for more words. She annoyed. She also tried flirting with Riley. The assistant leaded us to a small room. "The doctor will be here shortly." I sat down and Riley looked at the magazines. When he saw they were about pregnancy and childbirth he looked in the other direction. A few minutes later the doctor arrived. She was small and had long blond hair. I hated her – she was smart and beautiful.

"Hi, I'm Jane Volturri. Sorry that I'm late."

"Bella Swan" I sat straighter when I saw her curves. She was skinny and had curves. I will have to search myself an other doctor. When I'm 20 pounds heavier I would die of jealousy. Maybe Riley wouldn't notice her good looks as I introduced him as the father.

Riley smiled at her. I could have kicked myself for searching a female doctor.

"Should I remove my clothes?" I asked impatient. I hoped when Riley would hear my voice he would stop ogling my doctor.

"No I think we should talk before that. Maybe you have questions that I can answer."

"Okay" I thought about questions but there were none.

"First I need to know when you had your last period." I knew it and was proud at myself.

"July 9th." My doctor wrote it down. And then I saw her huge diamond ring. I felt the knot in my stomach. Hers was bigger than my own. Maybe she was married to a rich doctor. My engagement ring was laying in Riley's apartment. I thought about selling it. I also worried about my unborn child and what my parents would say. I knew it was modern to have a child with your boyfriend and marry later – you see it all the time in the tabloids. My parents are traditional they won't be happy.

"And when is my due date?" I knew it had to be in April but I needed an exact date.

Dr. Volturri smiled. " Okay. I think it may be the 15th of April. That was Ben's birthday. I looked over to Riley and saw he had no idea why this date was special. "But sometimes you get it wrong, right? It could happen earlier or later?" I began to panic. "I really hope that it will happen earlier. Otherwise may baby and my ex-fiancé would share their birthday." The daughter laughed and Riley rolled his eyes. Is something wrong with his eyes? He should stop that – it was annoying. "Most of the times the first date is wrong." She assured me.

"Okay than I would like to talk about your health history with you", she asked me different question. How much coffee I drunk. Alcohol. Did I have morning sickness? Thank God no I didn't. "Do you have other problems?" she asked with concern.

"Yes my breasts hurt sometimes." Riley looked awkwardly in the corner. Because of that I told her more "Especially when he touches them." Ha – take that. I had to fight my smile. "I also think they got bigger."

"That's normal. You should expect to gain some weight soon" she answered. Red flag Lady.

"I read somewhere you can still do special workouts. I won't be fat by the end of my pregnancy" No chance in hell. Jane nodded and wrote something. "Well it's time for the ultrasound."

"Should I leave?" Riley asked.

"No you can stay." Why should he leave? He is father.

"You know, he thinks all this is embarrassing." I smiled. Somehow it's cute. Jane told me to change myself in one of these paper things and left the room.

"Do you think he is beautiful? I asked Riley.

"She is okay", he answered, "Pretty!"

"Do you think she is younger than me?" I had to ask.

"Who cares? You are more beautiful, Bells"

"Will I stay beautiful when I'm twenty pounds heavier?"

"Yes" His answer didn't satisfy me.

Dr. Volturri came back. "Okay you go to the chair and get comfortable." She checked my lungs, breasts and by the end my cervix.

"To see that I'm really pregnant?"

"We will see that in your blood and urine but yes this will help."

I nodded. "You just have to relax." That was easier to say than to do. I watched Riley in the corner. He hat his eyes closed and looked nervous.

After my check up I got dressed again and peed into a plastic cup. Afterwards the rude assistant took a blood sample. My doctor told me she would contact me again when they get the results of the tests. "Here is the prescription for pregnancy vitamins. Please take them after you ate." Her handwriting was beautiful for a doctor. "Congratulations you two! We will see each other in four weeks four your health check up and the first ultrasound."

Marcus and I took our coats and left. I don't know why but I perfectly remember this walk. It was still summer but you already smelt autumn. Some leaves started to turn brown. I wore my black Chanel trench coat. I was happy and couldn't stop smiling. In nine month I would have a beautiful daughter. Unasked Riley took my hand and held it. I perfectly remember his smile. This was not just any smile. It was a smile by a man, who was lucky because he had you, because you were expecting his child.

.

.

.

The next Riley came early from work. We both met at his apartment and hat amazing sex. Afterwards I put my head on his chest. We didn't have time to talk so I told him about the surprise party.

"I would have thought you would take the gift", he said after I was finished. "I didn't have a chance but when we get married I'll get an other present." Riley stopped breathing.

No answer.

"Should we talk about it?" I felt bad for him. I wouldn't put so much pressure on him wasn't there the baby.

"What do you mean?", he played stupid.

"About our wedding."

"Ähm – I don't know. What exactly do you want to talk about?"

"Do we want to marry before the birth of the baby or afterwards?" I notice that my thoughts were more about our relationship than the baby. I know it was not good but I couldn't stop. Maybe I was still in wedding mood. I already started to see my dress.

"We should talk about it"

"Okay", he was hesitant.

"When should happen our wedding?" I needed some answers and I would get them.

"In six month maybe? I'm not sure."

"What?! No, I won't marry with a big belly."

"Maybe in five month?" he got uncomfortable.

"No, Riley."

"In four month?" his voice sounded weird.

"I thought about now. Why should we wait?", there I said it.

"Didn't you said we only want to elope?" he asked. He was right I mentioned it once. It was right before the whole Ben/Angela story. They didn't worry about my feeling and I won't worry about their feelings.

"I would like a small wedding. Nothing fancy. Fifty people maybe. Just our families and close friends." The number in my head was higher but he won't care about it.

"Hmm, fifty?"

"Yes just our families and close friends."

"Friends like Angela and Ben?", he smirked. I didn't move. I think he got my reaction.

"So no Angela and Ben?" He laughed.

"Please stay serious. This is important. What do you think about a real wedding?" I tried to be nice at the beginning but now I was annoyed.

"You know I'm not the type for stuff like that." He moved his hand over his face. "We could fly to Las Vegas and throw a small party."

"Okay. I got it." There are no men who liked planning weddings. At least no real men.

"We should also think about my parents. We should visit them as long as I'm not showing." No need to see my father's reaction. I knew my parents would accept Riley. Ben was perfect but they had pity with me. Riley was not their dream as my husbands but they would accept him to make me happy.

"Really first wedding talk and now the parents talk. What's next we gonna buy a house?", his voice got tight.

"Riley. Sometimes soon you have to meet them. I'm pregnant and I could start showing any day now." I lied. At the same time I felt his hand and how it moved between my thighs. "Riley, this is distracting." I wanted to talk about my parents but when I felt his hand so close his goal I couldn't stop the moan erupting me.

"That was my plan, babe." He said satisfied. "Ready for round two?" Well there will be an other time to talk...

* * *

**I know still no lemon but do we really want a lemon with Riley? I'll wait for Edward. If I have the time, there will be a third chapter today.**


	8. Shopping

**Hey!  
**

**A new chapter. I think three more chapters until we will meet Edward. Then we will have E POV and Bella's.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 8 – B POV**

Ben didn't took much with him. Our, no my, apartment looked almost the same. The only things which where missing where two lamps, one armchair and a big painting. I was happy that he took his stuff with him. I could never tell him that but the armchair and the painting were more than just ugly. In my mind I saw Riley's new apartment and mine. The one that we would buy after we marry. It was supposed to modern with a lot of glass. No more old traditional style like Ben wanted it. A month after the break up I took Riley with me to go shopping. With the sub we drove to a huge furniture store in the Madison Avenue. The last time I was here with Ben. We argued about a chair for the kitchen. He wanted a wooden chair and I wanted a white one. This memory hit me like with such a force that I stopped moving. I told Riley about the memory. He always reacted annoyed and said something like "Ah the good old times."

We looked around and then I found this beautiful red leather chair. It was perfect. "Do you like it? Think about my black couch. We could use it for our new apartment." Riley didn't care. "Sure it does look good." It was not the first time that Riley treated me that way. His comments and behavior hurt but I was strong and would not show it.

"Okay I don't know how to tell you this but over there are Ben and Angela", he was nervous. I watched his face and knew it was no joke. "In the right corner. They seem to be happy." I didn't need this information. _AGAIN I DIDN'T WANT THEM HAPPY! _They were sitting on a beige couch. They both wear comfortable clothes – jeans and sweater. I recognized Ben's. I bought it for him as present one week before he popped the big question. It was a year ago but to me it felt like a lifetime. They both smiled.

"Oh fuck! Do I look okay?" I searched for my mirror in my Dior bag. Of course I forgot it at Riley's place.

"Perfect" was the only answer I got.

"What do you think we should do?" I had no idea. This surprise was too much for me. "I think I'll become sick."

Riley just shrugged. Four days ago he met Ben at the gym. He told Ben about our news. Ben's reaction: "No need to worry but congratulations for the baby." They just met briefly but Riley mentioned it was weird talking to Ben. Their friendship was over and both men knew it.

"You know what. Maybe we should leave and come back an other time?" Riley already took my hand. I liked his thinking but I wanted this armchair and it was unfair that I had to leave. I took one last glance at the two people who I once considered as my family. The two were sitting on the ugly piece of furniture. I had to admit Angela never looked happier but that was my man – not hers.

"Do you think they will move together?" I had to ask. It was like a car accident. You didn't want to watch but you couldn't look in the other direction.

"Who cares? She buys it. He buys it. They buy it." He answered my question.

"Don't be impatient, _Mister_!" I said angrily. "This is important to me. Do you like her hair like this?"

"Yeah I liked it." Wrong answer and he noticed my face, "No it's horrible ugly!"

They looked different but I didn't know why. Their clothes were normal for them, no new haircut. But then I saw it.

"They both got a tan. They were on _my_ honeymoon. How could they do it?" I felt the tears in my eyes. It was Ben idea and he planned the travel but how could he replace so easily?

"Yes but I wouldn't have noticed it without you saying something," Again no help from Riley.

"Oh God. Oh God. I will go over to them and talk with them", I was furious.

"Bella no. Leave them alone", Riley took my hand and tried to stop me.

"He said he would cancel the whole thing. It was my honeymoon", I cried. The couple next to us watched me first and then Ben and Angela.

"You told me he asked you if you would like to do trip." That was true.

"This is not the point! I would never have taken you with me. It's so disrespectful."

"I see your point." He shrugged, "It is weird."

"She stole me my honeymoon. How can one person be so selfish?" My voice cracked.

"I'll leave now. With or without you." Before I followed Riley I took one last glance at Angela. Big mistake. In this moment Ben moved closer to her and kissed her briefly. They smiled happily. To be honest to see them so happy was a pain in the ass. I couldn't stay there. I run down the stair and forgot about Riley. Outside the shop I stopped and let the tears run down my face.

"I know honey. This is hard for you." It was the first time that I heard real sympathy in his voice. It was nice but it didn't help.

"How could they fly to the Bahamas. I hate them. I wish they were dead!" I started hyperventilating.

"You don't mean it. Please calm down, it's not good for the baby", he hugged. I knew he was right.

"Just forget it, Bella", I knew he only tried to help me.

"But I can't. I care about things like that." I remembered how Ben came home early from work. He had this smirk on his face. The smirk always told me he had some plans. He brought some pictures with him. I was happy at this time. We had good times together. "We look better than these couples there." I was the truth so why should I lie. He just laughed with me. Now I had this bad fantasy in my head. Angela and Ben smiling having fun. Nice dinners. Great weather and fantastic sex at the beach. It was not like I never wanted them happy again but I hoped their thing was nothing serious yet they are a couple – a happy one.

"Can we do the same? I mean our honeymoon?" My tears stopped I asked with a small voice. All this drama was exhausting.

"Everything you want", I heard the relief in his voice. He couldn't handle my tears.

"Ben wanted the Bahamas. Maybe we should fly somewhere more exotic." I thought about all the possibilities.

"Yeah it's like a trend. You deserve something better", he said. He had this look in his eyes. The "I want sex"-look. "You can choose? Spain, Greece or Bali?" Right now we were sitting in a cab.

"You promise?"

"Yes I promise!"

"We will buy us a new apartment?" I asked hopefully. Why shouldn't I use the chance?

"Yes."

I smiled sadly. I didn't have high hopes.

He moved closer. I felt his breath at my ear. He started to kiss my neck as hand moved up my thigh. "When we are home I knew how I'll get you happy again." Yes he was horny but I could use the distraction. The sex was amazing. It was the best I ever had. The rest of our relationship – not so much. Riley got easily annoyed with me. I wasn't different. We were both stubborn. The last two weeks the tension between us grew. Good thing I didn't tell him about the tickets I bought for us. Next week we would visit my parents!

* * *

**Okay next chapter we'll meet Bella's parents and her brother :D What do you think about two more chapters for today?**


	9. Happy Birthday to me

**Hey! Here is chapter nine. Just three more chapters until we meet Edward.  
**

**As always: I don't own Twilight - and sorry for my mistakes. I don't have a beta and my English is far from perfect.  
**

**Have fun!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 9 – B POV**

Everything got worse at my birthday. Now I'm thirty, pregnant and not married. It was also the first time that I woke up with morning sickness. I spent the night at Riley's apartment. I ran to the toilet before I had an accident. Afterwards I tried to brush my teeth but got hit with another wave of nausea. I let myself sink to the floor, laid down and moaned. Ben would have heard me. I remembered how Ben always took care of me when I was sick. He would hold my hair or caress my arm and tell me "It will be over soon." Riley did nothing.

It was no surprise. I moaned louder but heard no reaction. I picked myself up and went back to bed. "Hold me!" I whined. He only snored.

I moved closer to him as a saw the alarm clock next to me. Ten minutes until I had to get up for work. I closed my eyes and thought about Ben and Angela. What they were doing. Angela and I had this one tradition. At midnight we were the first who would congratulate each other. When we were younger and our parents didn't allow us to stay up we would sneak out and meet each other in our garden. At high school we had sleepovers or throw a party. In New York we had continued our tradition. We would spent the night at the apartment of the birthday girl with cocktails and our favorite movies. We have done this over 25 years.

I tried to imagined how Angela and Ben sat on their ugly new couch. "I can't ignore Bella's birthday. You know about our tradition. Maybe I should call her and say sorry. I know we should have told her sooner", Angela would say with a sad smile. "I know it's hard but you should stay strong", Ben would answer. In my fantasy they would argue and by the end of their argument they would separate. But this is the real world and I'm sure they didn't thought about me. They are both not the type for big arguments. They would have talked about and stay calm.

Yesterday I told Riley my fantasy. Of course we had an argument. We were both stubborn. Unfortunately we didn't have good make up sex.

I listened to Riley's snores. He was so handsome in his own way.

"Hmm" he said and started kissing my neck. After the fiasco in the bathroom I was not in the mood for sex however I gave in. Sex in the morning was not the worst start for my birthday. The sex didn't satisfied me. I hoped after this horrible number he would open his eyes and tell my how beautiful I was with thirty or that thirty isn't that old. Two minutes of silent and no word by Riley.

"Did you fall asleep?" I asked him.

"No I'm awake", he whispered.

Enough that I already had to throw up now the father of my child couldn't wish me "Happy Birthday." I tried a different way.

"I'm sick", I whimpered, "When you slept I threw up." Riley moved his back to me.

"Do you feel better now?"

"No, it got worse." I wanted his pity. I mean it was also his fault - he got me pregnant.

"Happy Birthday to me", I had enough.

He groaned "No need to remind me Bella."

"Shut up. You totally forgot it."

"I did not. Didn't you like your first present?" I heard the smile in his voice.

Our relationship wasn't the best right now. Even the sex got bad. When we didn't argue I was annoyed by his behavior.

Later in the office I saw a bouquet of white roses on my table. There was a present, too.

"Happy Birthday" Vic sang.

"You didn't forget it", I felt tears in my eyes. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

"How could I forget your birthday?" she smiled, "How are you today? I mean now that you are thirty."

"It does feel different but not in a bad way." Vic was twenty-eight years old. She was safe.

"Well you're so stunning. Why should you care about age? You look five years younger than you are." Since she knew about my split with Ben she never stopped with the compliments.

"What do you think about lunch together? I could open your present and we could talk." It was time to tell her about Riley. I knew she didn't like him but after the story with Ben I was allowed to do almost everything. "Sure!"

.

.

.

"No, don't tell me you are serious." Victoria stared at me with big eyes. I knew she would react that way.

"I know. We don't really fit together however our chemistry is amazing. I just need him." I defended myself.

"But he is chaotic and did you saw his clothes? There are holes in them. You can't be serious", she drank her second glass of champagne. "Even if the sex amazing. You can't stay with him together. You know we should go out together and search you a real man."

I had to laugh. "Victoria, right now Riley is what I need. I can change his clothes. I know he would never cheat on me." The last sentence could have been a lie. When I only thing about my doctor's appointment – Riley undressed my doctor with his eyes.

"Don't start an argument on your birthday. Let's change the topic or better unwrap you present." I love presents. The wrapping seemed expensive – a good sign.

"Oh my … Vic this is too much." I hugged her. She got me a silver chain with a green pendant in form of a heart.

"If you don't like it we can get you something different."

"Are you crazy? I loved it. Thank you so much." I really loved it. That was a present. I hope for Riley he had the same idea like Vic. You can never go wrong with jewelry.

"What are your plans for tonight?" Victoria asked.

"Riley wants to take me out", I had to smirk. It was our first real date. Crazy when you consider I was pregnant and hoped he would ask me today to marry him.

.

.

.

I was so wrong. After work I went home to my apartment. Most of the time I spent the nights at Riley's but most of my clothes were still here. I showered and went into my old bedroom. I thought about all my dresses and choose the white Dior dress. It was sexy, elegant and screamed my name. For our date I wanted to look perfect. I didn't wear too much make up. I went for the natural look. By the end of the night it angered me that I put so much work into my look.

Riley picked me up about 8 o'clock. Of course he didn't have flowers for me. He wore the same stuff like this morning. Great!

"You look sexy", he said and kissed me, "We should leave now we have a reservation." Hopefully saw my little help. I left a note with the name of a restaurant at his apartment.

"Don't hold it against me but you look horrible", Angela once told me every time I said the words "Don't hold it against me" I should have shut my mouth.

"It's okay." Riley replied - a bad start for a bad evening. I thought it couldn't get worse but hell I was wrong. He took me to a small restaurant. No five-star-restaurant. Not the restaurant that I wanted. The restaurant screamed cheap. I knew how much Riley earned. The last time I was in a cheap restaurant on my birthday was over then years ago. These kinds of date screamed either the guy was broke or that he didn't care about this girl. I don't have to mention I was the only woman in an expensive dress. The only why I stayed was because I hoped Riley ordered a cake. But no I ordered my simple tiramisu. When the waitress bought me my order to the table Riley said no word and put a present next to my plate. It was from Tiffany. There was still hope. I smiled and opened it.

"Wow. Thank you." I tried to put as much enthusiasm in my voice as I could. This ring was ugly. A simple silver ring – nothing special. No engagement ring.

"I knew you would like them", I bet he bought it today in a hurry.

"Why don't you wear it?" he asked.

"What? No I should only wear it at special events." I prayed he would believe. Maybe he didn't care or he believed me but he just smiled.

"Why don't we spend the rest of the night in your apartment for a change", he asked. I thought about all the birthday parties over the years. Now I'm old. I get a dinner in a lousy restaurant and afterwards I have to go home early. In this moment I noticed for the first time that I wasn't that happy as I thought. Victoria was right. Riley and I didn't fit together. Riley paid our bill and we took a cab to my apartment. Without a word I went to the bathroom and put my sleep shirt on. Riley was already on my bed.

"Riley you love me right?" A good start to introduce him to my plans.

"Yes Bella but what do you want?" He knew me.

"You see my parents want me to visit them. I thought you should come with me. It's the best chance to tell them about the baby." No way in hell I would tell them over the phone or alone.

"Bella it's too early. I think you should go alone."

"Why? How long do you want to wait? Last week we talked about our wedding and you don't want to meet my parents. They will like you. No need to be scared."

"Bella please. We could visit them in two month. You would be four months pregnant", he said as he turned the TV on. I hated it.

"Riley. I already booked two tickets for the weekend. I really need your support. Otherwise I wouldn't have asked you", I sulked. He couldn't resist my pouts. After two long minutes without talking he gave in.

"Okay but stop the pouting. No need for drama." I ignored his tone. I was happy at this moment. At least some things don't change – I'll always get what I want.

"Thank you babe. Tomorrow we will go shopping for you. You need a new wardrobe." This was my chance.

* * *

**I didn't like this chapter but I wanted to show Riley's and Bella's relationship. I know I promised Bella's family last chapter - we will meet them in the next one.**


	10. Meet the parents

**Hi,  
**

**this chapter took me years. I hope it's okay. As always: I don't own Twilight and I probably made tons of mistakes.  
**

**Have fun reading  
**

* * *

**Chapter 10 – B POV**

The next few days the mood between Riley and me was strained. Even the sex had to suffer. Sex was the foundation stone of our relationship. When I asked him why we argued so much he gave me the fault. "Your obsession with your ex and your best friend", was his only answer. He even said my behavior worried him. After that argument I tried to stop it. I don't say it was easy but I tried my best. I knew Riley was right but it still hurt.

My bad relationship wasn't he only thing on my plate. I thought about the baby. Nobody should have to grow up with arguing parents. Deep inside I wasn't sure if I was mother material. Did I want this baby? Was I ready? I knew it was to late to ask me this question but I couldn't stop it. Since my teenage time I defined myself with my good look and my body. A baby could ruin everything.

My mother called me every time. Her voice was filled with worry and pity. To be single was a horrible fate, worse that death. My mother tends to overreact. Yesterday I saved her from her misery and told her I had a new boyfriend. I was at Riley's when I called her for a change. My _lover_ ate cold pizza and was sitting in his bed. I skipped dinner because I already ate my daily need of food.

Renée screamed happily in the phone as I told her the news "Honey that was fast." No need to tell her I was seeing Riley for three-months now.

"What's his name?"

"Riley", she had this crazy idea that a name said a lot about the character or the person.

"Is he a musician?" Even through her question was stupid I was happy that she didn't remember Riley as Ben's best man.

"No he is not."

"Does he have a second name?"

"Riley Thomas Biers."

"I like his name. Ben was so short. I never really liked Ben. Did you?"

To be honest I loved Ben. Ben and Bella – BB – I loved that our names fitted together.

"No" I couldn't say more, "What do you think about meeting Riley personally? We will visit you this weekend. I booked our flights last week."

"Great news" Riley stood next me and heard my mother scream. I huffed annoyed and went back to his bed. He was not happy with our weekend plans. I listened to my father in the background. He was asking my mother why she had to scream.

"Hush now, Charlie. Bells have a new boyfriend." I watched Riley. He was annoyed and knew it. When he felt my eyes on him he smirked and formed the word "Cancel". No hope there for you buddy.

"Well tell me more about him", Mom demanded. My mother never asked – she demanded.

"You will like him! And he just came home. Mom I'll call you tomorrow. Bye!"

"I want to tell him hello." Mom squealed with glee.

"No Mom, You will meet him soon enough."

"I can't wait."

"You will love him. He is far better than Ben."

"Who is Ben? I don't know any Ben." I hung up.

"This is a stupid idea, Bella." Time to distract him. I crawled onto the bed. "Don't be like that. They will love. Just two short days, you will survive. We can either discuss this again or we could use our time. I'm in the mood for some sex." Not the best line but it worked.

The first time in my dating life my parents really wanted to like the guy that I brought home. In the past they observed the guy and told me then their disapproval. Normally my dad acted like a cop, which means he asked tons of questions in the living room and showed his gun. Yes my dad owns a gun. He never got the chance to use it but a was a proud owner. Sure he tried to act as my protector but in my opinion he loved the show. When Emmett, my brother, brought a girl home (which didn't happen that often) he was the charming doctor. He even flirted. My mother was a different story. To be honest she would have been a great actress. In front of the guy she was the sweet mother but when we were alone she was stern and most of the time she told me how disappointed she was. One or twice she tried the guilt trip. It may be working with my father but not with me.

Renée wanted a son-in-law with perfect manners, fantastic look and the right money. Ben fitted in that description. Riley not. He had to many mistakes but he had one big advantage: My parents had to like them. There was no other alternative. Either Riley or a single daughter. Their need to show off was bigger than their concern of my well being.

My brother was your years older and a successful lawyer in Seattle but had no wife. He was more the one-night-stand guy. I love my brother. He was funny, cute and really good-looking. He was tall, had like me my mother's brown curls and my father's smirk. He would find a girl if he wanted.

My parents loved it that we are both good in our jobs but our love life and grandbabies were important too.

Riley and I flew on Friday to Seattle. My father was waiting at the baggage claim and wore a smile on his face. He was a handsome man. He had full hair and white teeth. His teeth were his business card since he was a dentist.

"Daddy!" I screamed.

"Bells", he opened his arms. I smelled his aftershave and felt home. His hugs were the best part. "It feels good to be her", I whispered.

"I know honey." My relationship with my dad was always better as with my mom.

We both let go and I moved next to Riley. With a big smile I introduced Riley.

"Dad this is Riley."

My father took one step and holds his hand out for Riley. " Hello son, my name is Charles Swan and it's nice to meet you. Welcome to Seattle. "

Riley nodded and murmured something. Great I told him how to behave. We bought him new clothes and all week long I told him how important his first impression was.

I glanced at him and hoped he would get my look. My das always told me "the first impression is the most important one. Never forget it Bella." I mentioned a million times to Riley.

I hoped he would say more but it seemed like Riley loved to disappoint me. Instead of saying something he searched our suitcases.

"Is this yours?" he asked. I knew it was mine. He made fun of me because it was huge and purple. I hated the color but it was easier to find than his black bag.

"Yes, could you please get it?" No heavy carrying for me.

"Puh", he breathed. I knew I wasn't supposed to hear it but I did.

"Riley let me help you", my father offered.

"Okay", he answered. No thanks or an objection from his side. At this moment I wanted to crawl in a hole. We arrived ten minutes ago and Riley already made mistakes.

"Well let's go", my dad was in a happy mode. I watched how Riley searched for his black bag. I told him my purple suitcase wasn't that bad. Point for Bella.

In the car we hat a normal conservation about New York and our jobs. "Oh Riley, I can't wait to tell you all the embarrassing stories about our girl here." _Our girl_my father was trying hard.

"I wouldn't want it any other way" Riley answered bored. I looked at him. Was he crazy? I asked him nicely to behave this weekend. I thought I had him with the two blow jobs back at home and all he could do was that?

It got worse when we arrived in Forks.

"Welcome Riley. I'm so happy to meet you", my mother put both of her hands on his face and gave him a kiss close to his mouth. He only murmured the same words like he did at the airport. Renée rushed us into the formal living room. Forks was only a small town but when my parents married my mother wanted a big house with rooms she would never use. Sure I want an amazing apartment too but when I have my baby I want it to be like a home. I don't remember how often Renée used to scream at us not to play in this room.

Suddenly my brother stormed into the room. My brother is huge. Don't understand me wrong but he doesn't look like doctor more like a bodybuilder. He was always crazy after sports. In school he was the captain of our football team. My mother couldn't have been prouder. After high school he studied medicine. That was my father's dream. Emmett and I don't just share our hair color. He and I were both not the smartest students. I have no clue how he survived college but he was a good doctor. The kids loved him.

"Belly!" I hated this stupid nickname.

"Emmy" I always let him knew that I wanted a sister no big brother.

"Mom didn't shut up about your new boyfriend. So where is he?" Emmett and Renée never got along. He was over thirty and not married. A huge disappointment for my mother.

"Hi, I'm Riley. Nice to meet you", Riley was scared of Emmett. MY brother is a big teddy, he should be scared of me. It took Emmett five minutes to realize who Riley was. I begged him with my eyes to say nothing.

"Riley do you want something to drink? Sit down kids and you Charlie bring us some drinks?" We all sat down.

"So Riley tell us more about you?" This was it.

"What do you want to know?" he asked. Ben would have done the same but would have used a different tone.

"Everything. We want to know the man who stole my daughter's heart."

"Well, I'm born and raised in Arizona. Now I live in New York and work as lawyer. That's all about me." Nice answer Riley. I wanted to roll my eyes so badly or at least hit him.

"A lawyer. That must be a great job."

"No it's boring but it pays my bills."

It was time to change topics. "Mom what do we have for dinner tonight?"

"Lasagna. I know it is your favorite." Wrong Renée, Ben loved it not me.

"And Riley, do you have siblings?" my dad asked. Please no more rude answers.

"Yes", Riley answered, "One sister."

"Older or younger?"

"Three years older", he smirked and took a sip from his beer. I had to think about Angela's birthday party. Back then I was jealous of the bottle. Now I wished he would have taken a glass. When did I lose the lust for Riley?

Finally the cocktail hour was over. We five moved into the next room. "Please take your seats. Riley you can sit here." Of course my mother directed him to Ben's old place. This was too much for me. I realized maybe I did a mistake. Dinner was agony. They all tried to have conservation with Riley but he wasn't in the mood for it. I glanced in my mother and saw hurt in her eyes. She was missing Ben.

The big drama started when Emmett told a story about one of his patients. The teenager lost his mother to a fire. His father was older than his mom. He only waited three months to marry a new woman. She was only 5 years older than his son.

"How could he?" My mother was horrified.

"Sick", was my only comment. My father said nothing and was in disbelief. Riley didn't act along. He could have said nothing like he had done it the whole night. No, he smiled at me and said "How much younger is his second wife now? Twenty nine years? Well my second wife wouldn't even be born now."

My father and brother shared a look. I was too shocked to react.

"That was a good one, man" my brother laughed. In his eyes I could see hos worry. Suddenly I didn't care if my parents liked Riley. I stood up and took my plate into the kitchen. I heard how my mother excused herself and moved next to me.

"He tried to be funny, baby. The poor guy is nervous. I'm sure he didn't men it." I had no answer for my mother. I knew she didn't like Riley and this moment I wasn't sure if I ever liked him.

"I don't know what's wrong with him. He is as charming as Ben." I knew my mother missed him. When I said the word I knew I was wrong. I did the wrong choice. In my head these words were on repeat: Your choice was wrong. Together we went back to the others. After dinner we had pie, my mother bought this one. She was not the best person in the kitchen. After ten long minutes of silence I said: "I had enough pie. I think it's time for me to sleep."

Riley smiled at me and announced he was tired too.

I took his hand and went upstairs with him. Ben always slept in my room but there was no chance that I wanted Riley next to me tonight.

"Here is the guest room. It does have a small bathroom." I was too tired to say more.

"Come on Bella", he hugged me and started to massage me. I was not in the mood to argue.

"Are you proud of yourself?" I hoped he wouldn't answer.

He smirked – my anger for him only grew bigger.

"How could you do this to me. You knew how important this weekend was for me."

"It was a joke and you know it."

"It wasn't funny."

"Your brother and father laughed. I'm sorry."

"I know you aren't."

"Don't be like that."

"Great first impression. I can't wait for the faces when I tell them you got me pregnant and we will marry. The guy who will replace me in some years."

I was hurt.

"You know I wouldn't do that to you."

"Good night." I went my room. I hoped he would come to me and apologize. But he didn't. This was my future? A husband who tried to replace me before we were married? I felt sorry for my baby.

My room was purple. On every wall I had tons of pictures. Next to my bed I had my favorite one. It was a photo of Angela, our friend Jessica and myself. I wore my cheerleader uniform. We all looked happy. I was my first time as cheerleader. It was also Josh first big game. Of course we won. After the game Josh came to me and kissed me in the front of all the people "This was just for you". Back then my life was perfect. I was truly happy. I started crying, not because I missed the old times. No I cried because I was one of the girls who wished to live in the past.

* * *

**Bella realizes her mistake - that's a start - right? **

**Okay I'm not sure if I will post a chapter tomorrow because I have a lot to do. But only two more chapters before we meet Edward.  
**


	11. The end

**Hey,  
**

**I'm sorry that I couldn't update yesterday. As always: I don't own Twilight and my English isn't the best.  
**

**Have fun reading it!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 11 – B POV **

The next morning I heard someone knocking on my door.

"Honey are you awake?" my mother always asked this question and didn't care about the answers. Her tone was unnatural sweet – I had no good feeling.

"Yes I am." I wished for an escape. She sat down by the end of my bed.

"Don't get angry, honey." She said and started to caress my leg.

"Mom I can't help it. I know you hate him."

"No, I like him", she lied unconvincing.

"No you don't. He didn't talk yesterday and then there was his 'joke'!"

"Honey, he is no replacement for Ben. You'll find a better guy. Wait, are you planning to marry him?" now she was worried. He pronounced the 'him' not in the nice way.

"Maybe I'll marry him." I murmured.

My mothers face became white as a wall "No he is there to help you over Ben."

I thought about my other news: _Congratulations, this guy in your guest room. You know the one you hate. He is the father of your grandchild. Yes, Renée I'm not married but I'm pregnant. _ Instead of telling her about my pregnancy I tried to defend Riley "Right now he is at a bad place. Normally he behaves different." Big lie!

"Who cares? You can break up with him and search someone better", she smiled, and "You deserve better."

Oh Renée, it's not that easy. I told her I though I was sick and maybe she could bring me my favorite pillow, which I forgot in my suitcase. "Of course, honey." She went over to my purple monster and I heard her gasp. Shit I forgot this stupid pregnancy card "in nine month, we are three".

"Explain why do you have this card", she was holding the card. I could have told her it was a joke but she lost her sweet tone in her voice. That was my mother. In her mind she was too young for grandchildren. IT was all about herself.

"Mom I'm pregnant."

"No you are not", her face was red by anger, "Tell me you are joking."

"I'm pregnant."

"Is it Ben's child", I noticed the hope in her voice. This was my turning point.

"No, it's Riley's. Why should I be here with Riley when I'm pregnant with Ben's child."

"How could you throw your life away? I had dreams for you", she was screaming. Tears ran down her face. I could have pity with her but I didn't.

"You should be happy for me!" I tried to touch her hand.

"No, you are a failure. I'm so disappointed of you." That one hurt. I was her only daughter. I've done everything what she expected of me. I was a cheerleader in school even through I hated the uniforms. After school I went to college even through I wanted to travel around the world for a year.

"I'll marry Riley and you have to accept it." At this point everyone in the house should have heard us.

"No you won't." My mother's eyes were filled with new tears.

"Yes I will. Riley can be charming and polite when he wants to."

"You are making a huge mistake. You both don't fit together. He is nothing like Ben."

"Stop this shit with Ben. IT's over between us. He cheated on me what a great guy."

"You will regret this and I'm telling you, your father and I won't watch your misery."

I knew my father loved me to death but he was married with Renée over thirty years. My mother had done some terrible things. Ten years ago she was so depressed because of her age that she starting cheating. I don't talk about a kiss or two. We are talking about secret meetings in horrible cheap hotels. My father didn't say something to her and took her back. Back then I thought it was because he loved her. She was his soul mate. Now I think he only thought about his reputation and what kind of rumors she would have spread. If my mother asked him to ignore me, he would do it.

"I don't ruin my life. I'm marrying Riley and we will have a beautiful child together. If you don't stop talking bad about my fiancé and stop calling my baby a mistake you will never see your grandchild. You will be one of these sad women on _Oprah_ who beg on TV to see their family. Do you want that?" I opened the door and went straight to the guest room. I needed Riley now.

Ten minutes later we packed our stuff and waited for our cab. We were standing outside. You had to call and wait for cabs in Forks. I hated this place. Yes we drove with the cab to Seattle and yes it was expensive but I wanted out of this hell. Riley tried to calm me down. He even apologized. I accepted his apology and the rest of the weekend we spent in a hotel in the city and had great sex.

After the weekend our relationship was better but it didn't helped. Of course we started arguing again and we both were still stubborn. On Sunday morning we talked about names. No way in hell I would call my daughter after Riley's ex-girlfriend. It was not like he just mentioned one name. No, he thought about all the names of his past girlfriends. What a stupid idea. After thirty minutes of screaming and tears on my side, he threw me out. He said he needed time for himself. I knew this wasn't a good thing, because normally it was my line before I broke up with past lovers. In the evening I hoped he would call me. Nothing. Because he didn't called I tried to call him. I tried it at least twenty times but I never got an answer. I left him angry messages, sad messages and in some I was begging him. On Monday he was standing in front of my apartment.

"Where have you been all weekend long?" I asked and felt miserable. I couldn't sleep and thought about all the scenarios where I would end up alone.

"I had to think Bella."

"About us?" I was scared of his answer.

"M-hm."

"And did it help?", I asked him, "Did you thought about our future."

"Kind of." I hated the short answers. I knew what was happening but normally I was in his place. This would be the first time that I wasn't the one who would leave. No this time I was the loser - the helpless person who had no power in the relationship. I knew from my experience that begging was no use. You would get answers like "It's not your fault." or "I know this is hard but I would like to stay friends."

"Riley, please don't do that", I whispered with a broken voice.

"I'm sorry Bella but I don't want to be with you."

"How can you say that? I'm pregnant. Why?" I had to know, "Because of our argument?"

"No, you know why." Then he said the worst thing ever. "Your mother is right. We don't fit together."

"Well I know you didn't want to marry. We could try again. Take it slow this time and don't marry at all." I was desperate. I saw myself alone next to me a screaming baby. Dirty diapers surrounded us. I can't to this alone.

"No"

"But we have this child together." I put my hand protectively on my stomach.

"I know and this is a problem", he stared at my hand, "but there are different solutions."

I couldn't believe his voice. Only two weeks until I was out of the first trimester.

"I told you before. I won't kill my child. What kind of person do you think I am? Next week we have our next appointment. We will here the heartbeat and see the baby for the first time."

"That is your decision and I made mine, Bella. I want to make sure you know about your fate."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to be a father. I hate children. I don't be with you and sure thing I don't want this child. I'll pay child support but that's it. I don't want any contact." He was relieved.

"I can't believe you!"

"I'm sorry", he said. I knew it was a lie.

I cried. I begged him. I promised him to be better but he just stood there.

"Sorry but to be honest you aren't my type anymore." That one hurt the most.

Everything was over. Four month ago, I had a great family, fiancé and the best friend that you could have. Now I'm completely alone. That was the first time in my life.

* * *

**I hate Riley but we won't see him again. You see with that mother you can't be all nice etc. Next chapter Bella will call Edward. Yay **


	12. Victoria

**Hey,  
**

**this chapter took me years and I don't really liked but it was important. As always I don't own Twilight and yes my English isn't the best.  
**

**Important note by the end of the chapter - Have fun  
**

* * *

**Chapter 12 – B POV**

It was unbelievable. Not once in my life a guy was that disrespectful to me. Not in kindergarten, school college or in my twenties. I'm four weeks thirty and my life is a big mess. For a very short moment I thought about calling Ben. I thought about telling him it was his baby but I knew trapping him wouldn't make me happy.

Another big problem was that I had no one to comfort me. This was Angela's job but I also lost her. Wasn't Angela viable my mother took her role. If I called my mother now she would only tell she was right and I should apologize. I don't want to think about it but she would tell me my baby was a mistake. I felt sorry for him or her. I was the only one who didn't call it a mistake. The only one that I still had was Victoria.

After three days of being sick and stuck at home, Vic called me.

"Hey Bella. Is everything okay? I know you said you were sick but I worry about you. Maybe I could visit you? Bring some soul food?"

"That would be nice. I could use alcohol and chocolate too." She didn't say much. I probably shocked her but I didn't care.

"What happened to you?" Victoria stared at the mess that I once called my apartment.

"Riley happened." No need for more words. I wasn't strong enough to play the strong person now. "He just broke up with me."

"Wait, you say he broke up. Not you?" She opened some windows. "That's ridiculous. Did he look at himself?"

"I don't know", I said. "He said he isn't into me anymore."

"This is too much. First Angela and Ben, now this douchebag. What's wrong with this world? I don't get it."

I had to cry.

Vic noticed it and stormed to me. After a while of hugging she smiled at me "Come on, _this _is not a bad thing. Riley are bad news. He had nothing to offer. And Ben and Angela are boring people. They didn't fit to you. Now you have me." She reached the kitchen and started to make cocktails. I knew you aren't allowed to drink in pregnancy but one small drink can't hurt right?

"Believe me, this drinks will help you aaaand I might have the right guy for you."

I cleaned my nose and felt hope again. "Tell me more."

"Do you remember Christopher Levine?" I never heard this name.

"Just two words: sexy and money." She gave me my cocktail. "Well his nose is bigger than I like it. To say it differently: Maybe your future daughter will need a nose job. But that would be the only problem. You met him once in the Hamptons."

Now I had this picture in my mind. He had brown hair and was thirty-five. Wait, wasn't there a girlfriend.

"His girlfriend was so skinny, Model right?"

"Yes, his _ex_ was a model but he was annoyed with her. Every time they went out, he would be the one eating and she would sit there with a glass of water. He had enough."

"Poor girl" I realized I was one of these girls who feel sorry for every one. Hopefully it's just the pregnancy.

"But who cares? He is SING-LE!", Vic said and started to dance," But you know my parents would never accept a Jewish man. Otherwise I would be playing doctor games with him." She told me once he loved role-play."

I smiled about her dance.

"I love you. Maybe you are right and he is the one."

"On my way to you I had an other idea." Vic sat down next to me and touched my hand.

"Okay…", I was not sure if I liked this idea.

"My lease is running out and you happen to own a free room. What do you think about roommates?" Vic really tried to replace Angela and until now she was successful. I already saw us drinking cocktails, talking about our men. When I'm too pregnant she would help me. Maybe she would help me at night when the baby is born. I knew before she decided to move in here I had to tell her I was pregnant.

"You know what? We should do it!"

"Really! That's so exciting", Victoria screamed.

"Okay I could move in here next month." She started to plan.

"But I should tell you something", I was scared. It was only the second time I was telling someone about this baby and until now nobody supported my decision.

"Okay let's talk in the living room", Vic took our glasses and sat down in my big white couch. It was leather and now really cold. I thought about that day Ben and I bought this thing. He hated it but agreed to buy it. Later that day we made love on that thing. Back then I was happy. Ben would have never left me pregnant. I looked at Victoria. She was like me and knew how I would react.

"I'm pregnant and it's Riley's child." I hate silence.

"Stop it", she started to laugh. She thought I was joking. Who would joke about something like that? Maybe her cocktail was too strong.

"I'm not joking." She had big eyes.

"No!" It was like my mother was sitting next to me. She went through the room. From one corner to the other on. No words where said. I hated this silence. It was worse then screaming.

"What do you say?"

Victoria hesitated "Sorry but this shocked me." I hoped she would say more so waited. Five minutes of more silence. In these five minutes I had to think about Angela. She would have hugged me. She would have told me we would be together or that she would help me.

Maybe Vic couldn't handle this kind of news. Maybe she didn't react to the news because she wanted to help.

"Congratulation. That are great news.", how could she lie to me. The last hour she trashed Riley and now this. I was angry – with myself, at Riley and at her.

"Thank you", there was nothing to say.

"Victoria smiled nervously "This is great." She probably saw her future. How she came home from work. Annoyed from the traffic or from work and there was this screaming baby. Nobody wants that. "I see no reason why you shouldn't date guys."

"Of course I will date." I thought about the doctor "Do you think he will have a problem with it?"

"That you are pregnant?"

"Yes."

"I don't know. He isn't a friend of mine." So no Jewish doctor for me. I started talking about everything and nothing. I told her I planned to be like Miranda in _Sex and the City_. I could do that.

"Of course you can", she answered. Her smile was fake and I knew we weren't really friends. She was trying to use me. She wasn't ready to settle down. She liked me because of the fun we had together. She drank her and mine cocktail.

"Oh I totally forgot my date. Shit", her acting was bad. She wanted to leave. I didn't care much about her in this moment. I realized my loneliness and it made me sick.

"Oh with who?" I asked politely. "A guy I met this morning. He was really cute. His name was James. He told me he and some guys from his work hang around this one bar. You should come with me. "

"Well if you really liked him than go. No need to stay here with me but I want a full report tomorrow at work." I smiled. Her invitation was out of pity and I didn't want that. I hoped she would try to change my mind but no. She went into my kitchen and cleaned her glass.

"Okay honey, again congratulation. This baby will be beautiful and be careful." Vic took her jacket and left me. Left me like Angela, Ben and Riley.

It was time for a change.

The next day I went into my office straight to my boss. I told him I needed some time for myself. My boss asked me if he could help me and I only thanked him. She told me she knew how I feel and should take all the time in the world. Then she threw a look on my stomach. Of course, Victoria couldn't shut up. She used me for her popularity. Once upon a time I would have done the same think. I didn't care about other people problems but things change.

* * *

**Finally no ties in NY! Next chapter we will have Edward :D ****but that wasn't the important note. I'm searching a beta. I like my plot and many people read this story. If you are interest or know someone, contact me please.  
**

**Oh and before you get angry with Bella because of the alcohol. Vic drank both cocktails. Bell thought about but didn't do it.  
**

**Also I decided the people who write a review, will get spoiler.  
**


	13. Calling Edward

**Hey!  
**

**I know this chapter took me years but I hope you like it. As always I don't own Twilight and my English isn't perfect.  
**

**Have fun!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 13 – B POV **

The next few days I was the example of self-pity. I listened to "I will survive" and cried my eyes out. Afterwards I tried to think of what to do. Yes, I was pregnant and had to behave like an adult but at this time I just wanted my dad. When I was younger he cheered me up but I knew my mother would never allowed it now. When I thought about my das I had to think about my baby who had no father. How would I explain my child that his father thought he or she was a mistake. In my opinion children deserved love and a safe home. For that I needed a father but who would date a pregnant woman?

I needed a new beginning, a different scene, and a place where nobody knew me. I thought about all the people I knew but most of them were also Ben friends. I hated being alone. I was getting depressed but then I saw the one number, which I didn't call over two years. It was Lauren. Lauren was an old school friend. Back home Lauren, Angela and I was always together. I was always pitied her because she never moved out of Forks. She married right out of high school. Now she is the mother of two and still happily married.

"Hi, Lauren" I wasn't sure how she would react. Lauren was the girl next-door type, never rude or angry with you but after two years of silence I would understand her disappointment or anger against me.

"Wow Bella. How nice of you to call me", Lauren is an angel.

"Yes. How are you? Hoe is your little guy Logan?", Logan is her youngest child.

Patiently I listened to her stories about Logan's first word or steps. The she wanted to know how I feel after calling the wedding off. I knew by her tone she knew about my drama. I told her my side of the story but kept some of the details to myself.

"I feel so lonely. I hate my life so much."

"Oh Bella, I have no words. I worry about you."

"You really should. The worst thing about this it's Angela's fault." I would have loved if she would say something similar about Angela but she wasn't this kind of person.

"Maybe you two should talk again. Be honest. She is like a sister to you. It' just so sad."

"No way in hell I'm talking with her again. When I just think about seeing her face again. No I can't!" Lauren sighed. I heard her children scream. It was annoying, hopefully my child wouldn't be that wild.

"I think I need a change of scenery. You know now that I'm pregnant I should stop being selfish and think about my baby."

Thereupon she said I should come back home. Just for a few month. Enjoy a normal life and not the hectic on in the city. I could move in my old room. I wouldn't be alone and my parents could help me with the baby. "At church we have this great play-group for babies. Logan loved it there."

"No I can't. My mother is against the baby. I want something new."

"Okay, I understood it Bella", I heard Lauren laugh, "Forks is not big enough for you.2

"You know what I mean", this time Forks wasn't the problem but the people who lived there.

"Why don't you visit Edward in London?" Lauren asked me. Edward Cullen our high school friend. The one who always liked Angela more. At the moment she mentioned his name I knew London was the right place. European flare was what I needed.

"Lauren, that's the best idea you ever had." I already imagined the reaction of my parents or Angela's. It would hurt her to know I was closer to Edward than she was. I even thought about Riley. Riley, who felt guilty about leaving me and having me miles away. This was fantastic.

I knew Edward since primary school. Our school was small and a new student was interesting news. I remember Ethan first day. Our teacher, Ms. Young, hold his hand and said, "This is Edward Cullen. He is from Long Island. Please welcome him."

Edward had weird hair that was sticking in every direction. It was too funny. When I stopped watching his hair I thought about this island. Where was it? I saw Edward as jungle child barely covert playing with snakes and birds.

In our lunch break Edward was sitting alone in one corner. Every one watched him and I felt sorry for him. They were to shy to talk to him so I took Angela's and Lauren's hands and went over to him.

"Hi Eddie!" I said with a huge smile. "I'm Bella, this is Lauren and to my left is Angela."

"Hi!" Edward watched us through his glasses. They were too big for his face.

"Tell me how far away is your home country?" I wanted to know everything about his life in the jungle.

"New York is about 3.000 Miles away from Forks." He sounded smart. I thought he would be stupid because of his life on an island.

"New York but Ms. Young said something about an island." I was disappointed. I hoped for story like Tarzan.

Both Edward and Angela started to laugh. It was embarrassing. How could they laugh about me? That was mean. I was never good in geography.

"You do know Long Island belongs to New York, right?" Angela asked like I was stupid. My ears got red.

"I thought long island is some exotic place near South America." Lauren said. Thank god she was with me. Lauren never gave me the feeling I was stupid. Angela enjoyed. She enjoyed it back then and today it isn't different. Their laughing hurt me so I didn't stay nice to Edward.

"Why did you move here?" I asked blunt. His mother married a new man and because he got a job offer here in Forks they had to move. Lauren's parents were divorced too and she asked him where his father was.

"He is still in New York." He was about to cry. I could have had pity with him I still think divorce is the worst thing that can happen to a child but he thought I was stupid. Angela changed topics and asked him questions about New York. They talked about the Empire State Building and the World Trade Centre. Edward visited them all.

After this day I never thought much about Edward. Like I said earlier he was more Angela's friend than mine. He angered me. He always knew more than me and loved to show it me. But it all changed because Edward was my first boyfriend. A big surprise because Angela had a crush on him while I was crushing on Mike. Mike Newton was the most popular guy in my class back then. One day he announced blond were better than brunette. After he announced his change of mind I stopped caring about him. I was angry because in my mind blondes are boring as hell. So I decided to search me a new crush. The tall, skinny Edward was the last one in my mind. He lost his glasses over the time and he had great green eyes but his hair was still a mess.

But one day when I searched a book about Mexico I understood Angela. Edward was pretty cute. It was time to do something. I went over to him and tripped on purpose. Of course Edward saved me. For a short moment he observed me and showed me the first time his killer smirk.

I thought Angela would be happy that we shared our adoration to Edward. In my opinion best friend should share everything. Angela was everything but not happy. She acted strange like she owned Edward. Lauren told her she had a crush on Mike and it's nothing bad to like the same guy. No Angela started to scream Mike was a different story and that she liked Edward first. She was right but if she liked him that much she should have acted on her feelings. She didn't so this was my chance. A few days later I wrote Edward a small letter. I asked if he wanted to be my boyfriend. I wrote down _yes, maybe and no_. The fourth option was Angela's name but I cut it off. To be honest I didn't want to lose against Angela. She was the smarter than me why should he get the guy? It would have been unfair. Edward read the note and mouthed the word Yes. We were a couple for ten days. We shared our first kiss. Mike changed his opinion about brunettes on the eleventh day and I dumped Edward. Lucky for me at that time Edward was obsessed about Indiana Jones and wanted to spend his time with books. A short time later Angela told me she stopped loving Edward. She decided that she didn't want to have a boyfriend. School was more important.

Lauren, Angela, Edward and I were a small group. Through school we never talked about the love triangle. In college I tried to keep contact with Edward but we both didn't care much. Most of the time I only heard about Edward through Angela. He and Angela spent a lot of time together when he got divorced. He visited her so often that I thought they were a couple but Rachel assured me she was single.

One day I asked her if he was gay. I thought about his close friendships to women. He didn't really have any male friends. He also loved classical music but Angela was sure he was straight.

Edward parents and my parents are really close. I was sure Edward knew about my story. Either his mother Esmé or Angela told him everything. Edward was a real momma boy. His parents are the prefect couple. Really. Carlisle with his blond hair and blue eyes and Esmé was one of the most beautiful women that I knew. When they came over they acted like teenager. Still fresh in love. I think it's cute. I always had the feeling she understood be better than my mother.

I was really scared to call him. Would he even answer his cellphone? I was sure he would stick to Angela's side. And I was right – he called me back one week later after I left him three messages and tons of emails. I was sure my message screamed desperation but London was my only solution.

His "Hello" was short and reluctant.

"Edward please I can't stand New York any longer. You have to help me. I know Angela was always a better friend to you than me and I know you are on her side…" I stopped because I was sure he would confirm my thought. But not in typical Edward manner he told he was on nobody's side. "Please Edward. I don't know what else I could do. I need to leave New York. I'm pregnant." I heard his breathing stop. "I'm single because the father of my child said _I should take care of my problem_ and I can't go back home. I beg you Edward." There was a big chance that he would say no. Afterwards he would call Angela and tell her how I begged him. Again they would laugh about me but I didn't care.

"Bella it has nothing to do with Angela but I kind of like to live alone. I don't need a roommate."

"Edward. Please. I won't stay long just for three or four weeks." No need to tell him that I wanted to stay in London. He sighed.

"Can't you visit your parents?" He was really not happy.

"No. My mother and I don't talk with each other and I can't move back. You get what I mean. You didn't move back home after your divorce." He sighed but I knew I got him.

"But just for a few weeks, right?"

"Maybe three or four? " I stopped breathing.

"Okay, Bells." He finally said, " You can come but you won't live with me. This is only temporary."

"Oh thank you! Thanks! Thanks!" I said and was back to my old self. My problems were solved. I would start a new life in London and be finally happy again.

"You won't regret this, Eddie!" I knew he hated this nickname. "I'll be the perfect guest!" I promised.

"But don't forget this is just a short visit."

"A short visit – I promise" I ended the call and could breath again. I felt better.

* * *

**Edward said yes :D Okay we didn't see much of Edward in this chapter but I wrote an outtake in E POVs :D and I'll post it today **

**P.S: I still search a beta :(  
**


	14. Edward Outtake

**Hey,  
**

**here is the second update. As always I don't own Twilight and my English isn't the best.  
**

**Have fun  
**

* * *

**Outtake – E POV **

Bells called. No Bella called. Maybe I should start different. Isabella Swan, my beautiful, ignorant and very arrogant friend called me. To be honest we weren't really good friends so the call was more than surprising. Bella was Angela's friend. Well not right now but the last twenty-five years they were.

Angela visited me two month ago and told me about her feelings for Ben. In my opinion Ben and Angela were perfect together and I never got why he would stay with Bella when there was someone like Angela. Don't get me wrong Bella can be a great person but most of the times she was a bitch. I know I sound harsh but next to Angela she was nothing special. Angela wasn't selfish always thought about others and she was loyal. Especially when I got my divorce.

Tanya broke my heart. One day I was happily married and ready to become a daddy and the next day I was single and my ex had a baby with a stranger. I remember the day at the hospital. Tanya was crying like crazy. I tried to soothe her and told her the pain would be over soon. Then she looked at me with her red eyes and told me her secret. She didn't know if I was the father. First I tried to ignore her and told myself it was the drug's fault but then I saw our, no her, daughter. She didn't look like me and she didn't look like Tanya. Her skin had the color of rich chocolate. Back then I couldn't handle the situation. I ran out of the room and into the arms of Angela. She understood me and helped. I loved little Anna, I was the one who decided on that name, but could I live with the knowledge she wasn't mine. I could have been her father, I didn't care about DNA but I couldn't handle Tanya. She had almost nine month to tell me about her mistake but she didn't. At home she even tried to tell me Anna was mine and the color of her skin was a sickness. When I looked Anna in her eyes I didn't saw my green or Tanya's grey eyes, no I saw the eyes of our pizza delivery guy. That was too much for me. Angela told me to stay true to myself and I would get my happy end. At her visit I told her the same. I thought about Bella too. It was unfair to her if Angela didn't tell her the truth.

Yes Angela didn't tell Bella about her feelings and I felt sorry for Bella. No one deserved a lover who cheated. I hoped she would learn out of the situation but then my mother called me and told me about Bella's visit. Our parents were close friends. My Mom told me how Renée called her crying and begging to come over. Bella was about to be engaged with a friend of Ben and she was pregnant. I really hoped Bella was happy. Both my mother and I agreed Renée was overreacting. It was nothing new. I remember all the dinners at the Swan resident. Emmett was allowed to do everything. One time he even threw food. Renée was only focused on Bella. When Bella did something wrong like to forget to sit straight Renée was the first one to correct her. One time Bella accidentally dropped her knife. Renée took her by the hand and stared at her angrily. They went into kitchen and you could her how she screamed at Bella what kind of disappointment she was. My mother never treated me that way.

At our first year of high school Bella was already Renée's spitting image in behavior. I had a crush on her. Sometimes when she felt unwatched she would behave different. For example in the library she was always alone. Most of the time she read Jane Austen and I knew she was the right one for me. Well and I was a horny teenage boy - Bella looked spectacular no need to deny it. One day she gave me this little letter. She wanted me to be her boyfriend. I always thought she liked a different boy in our school but she asked me. Maybe she changed. So she was my first girlfriend. Our "relationship" wasn't long – ten days. We shared some kisses but that was it. She changed her mind and we broke up. I didn't care back then. She never changed over the years.

The first time Bella called me here in London I thought she wanted to trash Angela so I ignored her. The next five calls were ignored too. Then there were the messages. She really sounded desperate. I started to worry. Sure over the years we didn't stay close and the only contact we had went through Angela but maybe something happened to her and the baby. One week later she called again. I was sitting in my small apartment and tried to fight against my writer block. I probably wouldn't have picked up the phone but I needed a break. She begged me to stay at my place. I hated roommates. Since the Tanya story I lived alone. I preferred it. This way no one could annoy me. Or hurt me.

I wasn't fond of the idea to live with Bella. Bella seemed to be a person that wanted a lot attention. I didn't need that and I was ready to tell her that but then she mentioned her child and her situation. My first reaction was anger and hate against this guy. Who would ignore their own child? Who would leave a pregnant woman alone? Suddenly I felt the need to take care of Bells – to protect her. I hoped a few weeks away from home could help her. Time to think about the important things like her baby. I never saw Bella as the motherly type. When were younger around eight years old she forced me to play house with her. She was my wife and we had two daughters. Like my dad I was a doctor and she was a housewife. I thought it was fun until my friends made fun of me.

Because of her calls I was on my way to the airport. Yes I would pick her up. She had no clue where I lived and to be honest I needed a little fun. I'm sure she hoped for a townhouse or something. My parents were rich. I can't wait to see her face when she realize she'll live in a crappy apartment. Just because she was pregnant and I had pity for her I didn't ignore her personality. She was still bitchy Bella and until she wouldn't change I won't trust her.

* * *

**I know the last part was mean but Edward deserves some fun. I hope you liked the outtake. Tell me if you want more!**


	15. Home sweet Home

**Hey guys,  
**

**I really had my problems with this chapter. As always I don't own Twilight and my English isn't the best.  
**

**Have fun  
**

* * *

**Chapter 14 – B POV**

I spent the next two weeks with planning and shopping. The next few months a young couple would rent my apartment. I sold my expensive engagement ring and my wedding dress. With that money and the rent I could spent my pregnancy in London. I decided I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy. I doubt I would want to do it again. I wasn't fat or anything but the hormones and the crying were annoying.

I had this dream. _I would walk through the streets of London. Maybe Notting Hill. My stomach was round. I wore a beautiful beige Burberry coat and the fitting cap. People told me all the time how cute I looked. My hair was long and shiny – thanks to the best hair salon in London. It started to rain. To save myself from the wet I went into a small café. There I ate two scoones. Pregnancy was treating me good. I had full breast and the typical stomach but no fat ass. When I thought about buying me a Chai Latte I saw my Prince Charming. He was sitting in the next corner, reading the newspaper. Our eyes meet. His green eyes would scream at me. I couldn't move. In that moment I knew he was the one. He had black hair and a killer smile. I bet he is a good kisser. His strong jaw fascinated me. His name is Sam and he is incredibly smart. Ben was nothing against him. My pregnancy would be no problem for him and he would accept the baby as his. A short time later Sam would pop the question. Of course I would say yes with tears in my eyes. We would move into a small townhouse – right next to Gwyneth Paltrow. _

_And one night late April, I would awake with pain. I felt the first contraction – it was time. _

"_I think it's time. I'm in labor!" Sam would jump out of the bed and be in full panic. He would help me to dress and drive me to the hospital. Through birth he would hold my hand, tell me how proud he was and the pain would be over soon. After hours of pain, tears and screaming my beautiful daughter would see the light of the day for the first time. She would be the most beautiful baby on this planet. No resemblance with Riley. She would be my double. Sam would adopt her and call her princess. I would never think about Angela or Ben again. My daughter was now important. I would get my happy end. _

This dream was my hope. I would love London and London me. I choose to fly over night in business class. After seven hours of flying I arrived. Of course it rained but I didn't care. I was here and that was the only important thing. No New York – No Angela and no Ben! My heart beat so fast I realized my new life would start today. Edward promised to pick me up. I didn't saw him in two years. I sent him an invitation but I knew he wouldn't accept it. The last time I saw him he was still the skinny guy like back in high school. His hair was long and messy. The Edward that stood outside the airport was completely different. Where was Eddie? This boy – no man – was spectacular. He had some muscle and his body finally stopped screaming "Feed me!" He wore a dark skinny jeans and a black shirt with small holes. Riley did the same but I never thought his holes were sexy. His hair surprised me the most. It was short. There were no red, brown curls. His short hair showed his beautiful green eyes. They reminded me of the eyes of Sam in my dreams. His strong jaw line begged for attention. All in all London was treating Edward good and I was happy about it.

"Hey stranger!" I decided to show my best side. I hoped to stay at Edward's as long as possible. This way I would have more money for shopping.

"Bells!" he answered. No smile. Well I knew he wasn't my biggest fan. I hated this nickname but not when Edward used it. He always called me _Bells _when we played house. I was his housewife and would take care of his children.

"Thanks for picking me up but you know I could have find the way on my own. I'm a big girl" I hugged him. It felt different. He defiantly grew up.

"Well that would have been rude of me and Esmé would have killed me for that. Show me your tummy!" Edward belonged to the kind of man who loved pregnant woman. When I met him together with Tanya he was always touching her stomach. Back then I thought it was sick now I thought it was cute.

"I'm not showing. I still have time." I was so happy about that.

"Well you have fuller checks and you glow. Come on let me show you your home for the next few weeks." Months, Edward, months.

The cab drive was forty minutes long. I smelled like airplane and hated it. We didn't talk much. I knew this was all weird to him and I didn't care if we ignore the big pink elephant in the room. No need to talk about Angela from my side.

"How was your flight?"

"Great" Small talk – Great. "You changed. I kind of miss your hair."

"It was annoying and it will grow back." Okay it was clear he was no woman. He really looked better.

For October it was too cold. The gray sky screamed "Go back to bed!" and I was ready to obey. Edward paid the cab and tried to heave my suitcase. My very expensive and apparently heavy Louis- Voitton suitcase threatened to fall. I was ready to scream but Edward was strong enough and caught it in the right moment.

"Bella did you bring all your clothes? For a few weeks this thing is heavy", he said annoyed.

"Eddie I didn't know what to bring. I could help you" I answered sweetly.

"Don't be silly. It's not that heavy. And you're pregnant." The topic was over. Edward still had his problems with my bag. The door to his apartment looked battered. I knew Edward didn't care about material things, he never did but this was a new low for him.

"Is it safe here?", it was not like I had a choice.

"Bella this is London. Expensive as hell. You should know that from New York. I know your Dad bought your apartment but I didn't know you were that ignorant." Edward was on the edge.

"I just asked and I don't want to argue." I really didn't want to go inside. I was scared. Back home Edward was tidy and loved his organization. Edward fought his door. So maybe I should buy him a new lock just to be safe.

"This is it", he said, "Home sweet home."

I looked around and tried to swallow my disappointment.

"I told you my flat is small and not big enough for all your stuff, you and me", he was smiling. He thought this was funny. Typical Edward.

"No this is great. Like you said I'll survive for the short time. It's cute." Take that. "So tell me where is my room?" There wasn't much to describe. The walls were white and his furniture old. Not in the antique way of old – just old. The kitchen and living room were one. The windows weren't that big and dirty. Typical male.

"No need to hurry love." Edward led me to the room next to the kitchen. It was small like really small. Back in New York I would have used it as closet. There wasn't much inside. A small dresser, one shelf and as an alternative to a bed an air mattress were in the room. The carpet was beige but soft. If you wanted you could have called the room comfy.

"I know nothing special and not good enough for you but I didn't have time to buy a bed and why should I buy a bed for a few weeks." Did I mention the air mattress wasn't ready to sleep on.

"I'll leave soon but since I know you have nothing to do I thought you would do your own bed." Edward smiled again. This was a test.

"No it's fine I'll do it." I wasn't sure where I would find space for all my suitcases.

"Okay well have fun and I'll be back tonight."

"Where do you go?"

"Work. I need some inspiration."

"For your book?" Edward dreamed of writing the novel. He was good but until now he didn't have any idea for a plot. I knew this from Angela.

"No, you know I don't have big savings like our parents. I write small articles for different papers. I need to pay rent and food", he answered and was already leaving my closet.

"I thought you would show the city? Tell me some secret spots maybe?" I wasn't in the mood to be alone and I hoped I could spend time with Edward. Spending time together could help our friendship.

"Not today. I have to work and I thought you would want to shower."

"Yes. I feel so dirty." I hated airplanes and never kept this as secret.

"Well the bathroom is the next door to yours. The door on the opposite belongs to my bedroom."

"Okay. Do you have food here? I could cook for us." I had no idea how I should spent my time alone.

"I'll bring us something, okay? See you later Bella!" And then he was gone. This place was too small to feel lonely. I showered and went into my room. I was not in the mood for unpacking. I tried to build up my future bed. After two hours of sweat I was successful. This "thing" was not comfortable.

It was afternoon. Edward said he would be back in the evening. I wasn't hungry but bore. I saw his huge flat screen in the corner of the living room. No money for great furniture but his entertainment was important. I never had a male roommate but I knew it would be different. I went over to the DVD shelf. I chose to watch "Crazy, Stupid, Love". I loved Ryan Gosling. When the movie was over it was dark outside. I noticed I was hungry. Still no Edward. I went into kitchen and searched for food. The only things that I found were bread, marmalade and milk. I could work with that. It was nothing special but good enough for the small hunger. I ate in completely silence. Edward was still tidy and I didn't want to anger him so I ate in the kitchen.

It was around 10.00 pm when I went into my room. I couldn't believe Edward forgot me. I could spend the evening alone but no dinner? Hey I was pregnant. What a nice friend.

After one hour of tossing and turning I was able to fall asleep. I knew that because I heard every small sound. New York was loud and I missed the typical noises. Someone opened the door. I really hoped it was Edward. I heard a giggle. Yep, that was Edward. A drunk Edward. He stumbled across the floor. I think he tried to be quiet. He failed. He went into the bathroom and I heard the shower. I really tried to sleep but I was wide awake. Edward showered over twenty minutes and damn I almost heard everything. Don't get me wrong I didn't hear any dirty sounds but he was talking. He said something about playing house. Even back in high school Edward was a weirdo when he was drunk.

I watched the clock to my left. Around midnight everything was quiet again. Too quiet.

Suddenly I had this great idea. I knew Edward loved to sleep in big beds. Even as kid he had one. My "bed" was so uncomfortable. So I went into Edward's room. He was snoring lightly. I laid down next to him and tried to find some space. This was king sized and he took all the place. No clue how he did that.

"Edward" I whispered, "Are you awake?"

"Hmm"

"Please wake up. I can't sleep." I touched his arm.

"Bells?" he asked but didn't open his eyes, "What are doing here?"

"I can't sleep and I feel so lonely in my _closet._ Can I spend the night here? Please" I begged.

"Bella, no", he was falling asleep again. He talked to me like a dog.

"Just this night. It's so quiet here and I normally can't sleep in new rooms." I spoke louder.

"Only tonight" Edward moved and hugged me. "Better?"

"Thank you. I promise I won't disturb you. Good night, Eddie." I kissed his check.

"Night Bells."

As kids we had tons of sleepover, so this was nothing new but it felt different. I felt secure and safe. Edward felt like home.

* * *

**super long chapter!**

**I hope you still liked it. I'll update tomorrow again. Then we will have more Edward/Bella time.  
**


	16. Awkward

**Hey, **

**okay this could be the last chapter for a week. I've already written the next seven chapters but I don't know if I'll have internet access. **

**As always I don't own Twilight and my English isn't good. So have fun with my moody Bella and mean Edward. Give him a chance he'll get**

**nicer.  
**

**Have fun  
**

* * *

**Chapter 15 – B POV**

It was hot – too hot. There was something heavy on me. I tried moving but nothing helped. When I tried to turn around something was stopping me. That thing was snoring. Okay I wasn't drunk yesterday so who is that. Oh Edward. Of course now I remembered. Last night this seemed to be a good idea but now I felt his morning wood pressed against my back. That never happened at our sleepovers.

Wow Edward felt huge. I had no idea what to do. Edward moved closer.

"Hmmm", no he won't start dreaming now. Please. His hands start to search for something. This could end badly. I had to stop it before it was too late. His hand wandered over my stomach up to my breast. His hand was too close. I tried to leave the bed.

"Bella, what are you doing in my bed?" Edward was awake now.

"You don't remember?" I asked.

"What should I remember? Oh – Oh?" Edward noticed our situation just now. He was still holding me close. He was faster than any human being should be. "I'm sorry but tell me again."

"Well I couldn't sleep. I was sleeping but when you came home you were so loud. I really tried to sleep in my room but I couldn't. I knew you were still awake. I asked you and you said yes. So this situation isn't my fault." I couldn't stop rambling. I just felt the boner of one of my friends. Shocking experience.

"Ah shit. I was drunk. I met some friends and well one thing lead to an other."

"No need to worry. I'm a big girl but we should go shopping today. We have no real food here."

"I forget to bring you something. Sorry Bella."

"Eddie it's okay."

"You know what. I'll write one article and then around noon we could go shopping. I'll buy lunch as apology."

"Thank you Edward. I should shower now and then I'll start unpacking. I promise to be quiet." Edward's hand was still resting on my stomach. It was still flat but really hard.

"How far along are you?" It seemed like Edward didn't feel the need to take his hand back.

"I'm around four months." I didn't want to talk about the baby. Right now I was _the _reminder of my failure.

"Wow. You aren't showing. You'll probably start soon. Did you feel it kick?", he asked.

"Ahh no. I read somewhere it will start in two or three weeks. " I wanted to change topics or leave the room. I would have loved to talk about Angela. I knew Angela and Edward talked every week. I'm sure he knew her side of the story. I had so many questions but this wasn't the time.

"Well you have to tell me." He started to stroke my stomach. Didn't he realize how weird this situation was? Maybe he was still drunk.

"Edward. I really need to pee. Sorry." I jumped out of the bed and ignored his apology. He had to be drunk. I took my time in the bathroom and hoped he would fall asleep again. And this time I had luck. He was still in bed. I ran into my room and shut the door. I wasn't in the mood to unpack but it was either unpacking or Edward.

I didn't saw Edward until noon. He was knocking on my door.

"Hey Bella. Are your finished? I thought we could go shopping?" I was sitting in the middle of all my suitcases. How could I bring so much stuff? I knew I'll need but this room was too small.

"I could use a break." I didn't where to put the rest of my stuff. I hoped Edward would leave tomorrow. I could hide some bags under his bed.

"Okay I'll put on my coat and wait at the door for you." Edward said slightly annoyed. His hangover had to be bad. I wasn't in the mood for a complex outfit. I wore some jeans and a baggy shirt. I put in my leather jacket. It was nothing special but it still looked good. Why should I wear some designer costume next to Edward, he would be annoyed with.

"I'm ready. What is your plan?" I asked him. He was wearing some old Levis jeans, which made him look handsome and a brown coat. In New York he was only some weird dude who had no sense for fashion. His style fitted to London. Otherwise I would never consider Edward as handsome.

"First you get your own set of keys and here is your tourist guide."

"I hate these. I'll look weird with it." When I saw people with guidebooks in New York I felt hate for them. Now I was one of them. "This one is so ugly and has too many pages."

"You are impossible. You either use it or you get lost. I promise you I won't search you." Edward answered me with anger in his voice.

"Okay, okay I'll use it. Thank you. But now you are my travel guide. So show me the city. I'm hungry."

We decided to eat lunch first. We went into one pub. It looked old and dirty. Edward led me to one table and ordered our food at the bar.

"I'm kind of sick. Maybe it's the pregnancy or still the long travel." I tried to start a conversation. My goal was to talk about Angela.

"I ordered you club sandwiches. They are light." Edward took a pack of cigarettes out of his coat.

"You want to smoke in my near?" I was shocked. Edward was super daddy and now he wanted to smoke. I hated the smell.

"Oh sorry, I forgot", he said quickly.

A waitress with long, blowy hair bought our food to our table. She talked with Edward about his writing. He answered her shortly. So this was Edward's favorite pub. Before she went back to the bar she smiled politely. Her teeth were yellow.

"So it's true what they say about dentist here?" I asked. It was out of my mouth before I could think about it. I started to regret when Edward rolled his eyes at me.

"Lizzy is really nice", he said as he took his first bid.

"I didn't claim something different. I just noticed her bad teeth." I knew he was sensitive but this was annoying. "And why are your mashed potatoes green?"

"These are peas", he didn't say more.

I ate my sandwiches. While I was eating Angela's name didn't leave my thoughts. I knew they were talking. Maybe Edward told her about my sob story.

"Do you know something new about Angela?" Asking didn't cost.

"She is doing fine", he said.

"Just good?" I tried again.

"I won't play this game Bella", he didn't look up. His eyes were focused on his food. I tried my puppy eyes but he knew me.

"What do you mean?"

"I won't discuss Angela with you."

"Why not? I don't understand you." I put my sandwich down.

"Angela is my friend."

"But we two are friends too, you know."

He ate some fish. "I know that."

"Lauren and I are friends. We both talk out this story." I tried to sound not too angry. "Why can't you tell me your opinion? I won't be hurt or angry with you. I mean I know you stand on her side."

"Listen Bella, the thing between you and Angela has nothing to do with me and I'm uncomfortable talking about this. Can we change topics now?"

"Of course", I said. What did he think? My life was no soap opera with thousand dramas. There was just this one.

"Well, then don't try it with me. I won't gossip about Angela", he answered. He was stressed and lighted up cigarette.

"Hey! We had that. At least move away. You it's not healthy."

"Sorry." He turned himself into the other direction. "You know it'll be difficult for you. Everyone smokes here."

I noticed that before. "I can smell it. It stinks!"

Edward only shrugged his shoulders.

"So can I ask you some questions?"

"As long they don't involve Angela."

"Come on Eddie. We know us since kindergarten. My questions are innocent. Please!"

He didn't disagree so I started with my first question.

"Did you talk to her last week?"

"Yes."

"Does she know I'm visiting you?" In my mind I saw her reaction. How shocked she was. Maybe she was even jealous. He nodded.

"And she is okay with it?" If he was I didn't know my friend. Angela was always possessive of Edward. Even when he was married with Tanya. Now he lives in London and stay at his apartment. She was in New York and couldn't do a thing about it.

"She thinks it's good for you." I snorted to show him my disbelief.

Edward shrugged his shoulder again.

"And anything new from her side?"

"Nothing much."

"Well a new relationship is big news."

"Bella, that's enough!"

"What I don't care about them. If they are happy together, good for them. I'm only curious."

"I mean it. No more questions and no question about Ben."

"Okay, okay. I get it. I mean it's stupid that two friends can talk open about something like this. But it's your problem."

"You got it right! This is my problem."

After lunch we went shopping. We didn't talk much. Maybe it was his hangover or he was angry with me. He should grow up. I didn't try to gossip about Angela. I realized I miss her and our talks. It took us some times to decide what we should buy. I only cared about the olives. Yes, I craved olives. Maybe it was a sign to call my daughter Olivia. Afterwards we went home. Edward went into his room and didn't come out so I had to put everything away. How nice of him. I sat down and start to read a book. Sometimes I could hear his voice. He was talking to someone. To who I had no idea. Maybe he was calling Angela to tell her how annoying I was. At this moment I didn't care much about it. I was so tired. It didn't took me longer than ten minutes to fall asleep.

* * *

**Hmm, what is Edward doing? Maybe we will see it in the next chapter. **

**Oh and I still search a beta :(  
**


	17. Annoyed

**Hey guys,**

**This is my second Edward chapter. My RL is really shitty right now. I'm visiting Family and people in the train stole my bag with clothes. The next chapter will be next Friday.**

**Have Fun, R.**

* * *

**Chapter 16 - E POV **

So soft. My pillow was never so soft. I was angry with myself. Yesterday I treated Bella horrible. I didn't want to but Bella knew how to push my buttons. They way she looked at my apartment. It was almost funny. I had one expensive lock in my door. No chance in hell people could break it. I planned to clean her room and buy a bed but then I thought about her personality. She should work for things and I won't buy a bed for a few weeks but when I saw her smile drop I had a guilty conscience. My mother raised me better. I can't let a pregnant woman sleep on the bed.

"Okay well have fun and I'll be back tonight", I said.

"Where do you go?", she asked me.

"Work. I need some inspiration." Bella's visit was helpful for my inspiration. I had this one idea that I wanted to write down. I never write in presence of others. Bella could use the alone time too. I wanted to show her the city later.

Then she asked me some question about my novel. Like usual I reacted annoyed. I felt the need to apologize but stopped myself.

"I'll bring us something, okay? See you later Bella!" And I went outside. I could use a walk. The cold fresh air helped me thinking. I talked with Angela last week and she was really worried about Bella. I had no clue why but that was Angela. I promise her I would take good care of Bella but I also told her distance was good for them. Before I went home I met my good buddy Jasper. I knew Jasper back from New York. He moved her for a woman. Crazy guy. He invited me to watch soccer together at our pub. One beer led into a second and by the end of the night I was drunk. When I went home I remembered Bella. Shit I forgot to bring dinner. She probably didn't wait on me and ate alone. No need to worry.

Back at home I tried to be as quiet as I can be. I smelled my clothes and they were stinking. My great idea was to shower. Bella was long forgotten. After a long shower I went into my bed. I was still drunk but Bella slept so no need to worry that she would notice.

Around two a.m. I felt something move next to me.

"Edward?", it was Bella's sweet voice.

"Can I stay the night?" Like I could deny her something. In high school I had dreams involving Bella in my bed. She was so warm. Before I throw her out of my bed I hugged her close. Yes, I had women in my bed but they never stayed the night. I loved living alone.

.

.

.

The next morning I had this great dream. I was living in this old white house in Forks. The bedroom colored in dark blue. It was still dark outside. Next to me Bella slept. She was naked. We were both naked. No need for clothes in our bed they were only in the way. God she was so soft. Her long hair tingled me but I didn't care. I just needed her closer. I tried to move closer but something was stopping me. There were noises. Who the hell thought it was okay to disturb my wife and me. My need for her grew stronger. My hands moved to her breasts. Her beautiful, full breasts. They were so full because of her pregnancy.

"Hmm" I moaned. She was still not close enough. The light was bright. What's wrong here? Oh shit.

"Bella, what are you doing in my bed?"

"You don't remember?" Please tell me I didn't to something stupid. Suddenly I remembered how she asked me in the night. Phew. I got really horny when I was drunk and Bella could be my dream woman.

This was embarrassing. I tried to keep my morning wood away from here. I shouldn't creep her out more than I already did. I really felt bad that I forget her yesterday. If my mom knew how I was treating Bella she would kick my ass. I let her sleep on the floor and now I forgot to feed her. I know bad choice of words but I'm honest. What a great friend I was. Bella stayed close to me. Maybe she was too shocked or the liked it. Just then I noticed my hands. I didn't touch her breasts like in my dream. I was stroking her stomach. I've always done the same with Tanya. Back then I really wanted to be a daddy. My hate for Bella's ex grew. This child would have no father but maybe a great uncle.

After two minutes of awkward talk Bella jumped out of the bed. I should start to behave now. I was no help for Bella and that was my main goal. I still felt the aftermath of my dream. No clue what my head tried to tell me but this should stop. We were friends nothing more. Bella needed to grow up and a new relationship wouldn't help. I felt guilty. I heard the shower running and my headache got worse. I'll never drink again.

.

.

.

Poor Bella stayed in her small room until noon. I was worried because we had no food in the house. Bella was tinny. She should eat more. Behind her door I heard noise. So she was awake. Tanya was really sleepy when she was pregnant. Back in bed I thought about a way to spend some time with Bella. Lunch and a shopping trip would be nice. Woman loved to shop, right?

Our first stop was lunch. I took Bella to my favorite pub. Bella loved these expensive restaurants but she wasn't in New York and she should learn that. Lunch was horrible. First she treated Lizzy bad and then she tried to talk about Angela. I did understood her interest. Angie did worry about Bella but in typical Bella way she wasn't worried, she just wanted new information. Three questions and I lost my temper. We payed for our food and went back home. Bella arrived yesterday and every time we talk I get angry. I can't help myself.

In my room I called my mom "Hey Mom!"

"Edward baby, you sound troubled?", my mother knew me well.

"I feel guilty about Bella. She arrived on Thursday and I've done everything wrong. We talk, I lose my temper. Or I forget her and get drunk." I couldn't stop.

"Wait, what? You forget her? Who are you and where is my son? She is pregnant so you better start to treat her right. She doesn't need more stress." I heard the disappointment in her voice.

"I know and I'm really sorry but Bella didn't change. For example I take her for lunch in my favorite pub. A normal woman would say 'Thank you' and would be happy about it but not Bella. Bella practically stared at the waitress and moan about Angela and Ben. I really thought she would change."

"Bella. You know Renée and you know Bella. The last few month must have been really hard for Bella. She lost her fiancé, her best friend and her parents stopped any contact. She is all alone. Help the girl and be patient. But back to the drunk thing. Please tell me what happened!"

"Well I went out to write but then I met a friend. Together we went into a bar. Well I forgot the time and Bella. I'm a horrible host."

"Edward, I raised you better." My mother didn't say more.

"I know. Do you have an idea what I should do now? I get that Bella is alone but her behavior is so annoying." Now I wailed.

"She won't change over night. Cook for her and apologize. The next time you call I want to hear good news. How is Bella? Renée ignores Bella. She even took down every pic of her in their house. It's so sad." Esmé had a soft spot for Bella. She thought Renée was a bad mother. How can you ignore one child and pay only attention to the other.

"Bella has the glow. You know what I mean? But she isn't showing. I think she is fine." I had to smile. I noticed the glow at the airport. Bella was even more beautiful.

"It's still early. You'll have to send me pictures. Did you think about your visit? Carlisle and I miss you. Maybe you could bring Bella." I wasn't in the mood for a long fly. I loved my parents but hate Forks.

"Mom, I don't know. I would have come but Bella is pregnant and I doubt a long fly would be good for her. I'll ask her, okay?" Please drop the topic.

"Do that and then call me. I miss my babies."

"Mom I think I should start my apology for Bella. I'll call you soon. Love you."

"Give Bella a kiss from me." Oh now Bella was more important than me. Nice mother.  
Where was Bella? I heard no noises in the flat. Shit, did she leave alone? I sprinted out of my room. There she was. Bella slept on the couch. It didn't look comfortable. When Bella slept she was like an angel. God, why couldn't she change?


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys,  
**

**I'm back and I'm sure nobody missed me xD This chapter is late, I know but I had real problem with it. There was this scene in my head but writing it was a huge problem. The next chapter will be better.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 17 – B POV **

Someone tried to wake me up. I felt hands on my body. Should I have been worried? No, the only person here was Edward. Edward was nice when he wanted to be.

"Hmm"

"Shh, go back to sleep. The bed is more comfortable", Edward whispered. That was I meant. I knew he would react protective of Angie but I was his friend too. He was hot and cold. He put me on the bed and I went back to sleep. Sometime later I felt someone stroking my check.

"Bella, I cooked dinner. Come on wake up. I know your hungry." Edward again.

"No, I'm too comfortable. I fell in love with your bed. I might marry it", I was serious. This bed was heaven. It was so soft and it smelt like Edward.

"I made you favorite. We can stay in bed the evening. I promise. Maybe we will watch a movie", he laughed.

"You cook?" He mentioned food and I was awake now thanks to my pregnancy.

"Oh Bella. My mom lives on the other side of the pond. I don't say I'm good but you can eat it."

"But you cooked Ratatouille?" I could die for a good Ratatouille but this bed was so comfy.

"Yes, I did." Edward was playing with my hair. He was really touchy. Normally I hated it when people touched me without asking but Edward's touch calmed me. I don't know why.

"Give me five minutes and then we can eat." I changed my clothes into something comfortable. I still wore my skinny Levis jeans and a blouse. Both were a tight fit but the last time I went shopping was with Riley.

When I went into the kitchen Edward was setting the small table perfectly. There were flowers and candles. He was defiantly Esmé's son. This gesture was so sweet. Ben would never have cooked himself, I'm sure Riley doesn't know how to use his stove. When I thought about it Edward was the first guy who did that for me.

"Wow. This looks delicious. Thank you."

"I want to say sorry with this dinner. Yesterday I totally forgot you and today we argued. I hoped that your stay would help you but I have the feeling these two days were stressful, too." Edward was looking down. He really worried about me. Right now he was the only one. Not even my family or my so-called friends called me but here was sitting this nice man who I took advantage on. My guilty conscience grew.

"No Edward. Really I should have done this for you. I called you out of the blue and gave you no chance to say no. Today at lunch I behaved like a bitch. No, I was a bitch and knew it. Sometimes I can't help myself. It was wrong. Sorry. I shouldn't ask you these question about Angie." I felt the tears in my eyes. Edward was watching me.

"It's mine and her fault that we are in this situation. You have nothing to do with it." Edward didn't answer me. He kind of stared at me like I had grown a second head. I smiled.

"Well you can continue staring at me but I will start eating your master piece. " Just then I noticed how hungry I was. It wasn't the best Ratatouille that I ate in my life but it was still the best dinner that I ever had. Edward's message behind it was more important.

"Okay where is Bella and what have you done to her?"

"Edward I'm not that bad." I could have been insulted but I wasn't.

"This was the first apology which I heard out of your mouth" Edward said. His food was getting cold. Sure, he might be right but it was getting ridiculous. I didn't know what to say so I watched my empty plate.

"Are you planning to eat this or do you continue to stare at me?" My plate was empty and I was still hungry. This side of pregnancy was just horrible. The last few months I was on a strict diet for the wedding. Nowadays I was always hungry. Sure I tried to eat three meals a day and a snack or two but I didn't want to gain too much weight.

"So my apology was successful? Thank God. I called Esmé for the recipe. She worries about you."

"I love Esmé. At least one mother is there for me." I had to think about Renée. She was stubborn but in my opinion I did nothing wrong. Sure Riley was a huge mistake but a grandchild is something good. She should be happy. At least Charlie could have called me. I was his little girl but there was nothing. Edward must have noticed my change of mood.

"You know what. I will get you and the baby more Ratatouille. When we are finished we move the party into the bedroom and watch a movie. You choose." Edward took my hand. I understood Angela now. Edward was great friend and an even better person.

"Wait no dessert?" I tried to joke. There was panic in Edward's eyes.

"You know I was joking, right?"

"Of course" Edward blushed. "I think we have some chocolate around here."

"Yes. Oh and some sausages." Now I was the one who was blushing.

"Everything you want." We cleaned the kitchen together. He made a mess. I'm not the best cook but I think Edward was worse than me.

"Bells I thought about our sleeping situation again and I think we can share a bed. It would be more comfortable for you and as long you don't start to snore I'm fine with the situation."

"Really?" I really loved his bed, "You are the one who snores but I'll ignore it. Your bed and I share a special connection."

"If I remember our sleepovers you are the one who shouldn't talk." Normally Edward and I argued. This was new.

As promised I got to choose the movie. I knew Edward loved Lord of the Rings. Back in school he was addicted to it. Really. For example a few years ago at Halloween he was dressed as Aragorn. Let's be honest here: Nobody and I mean nobody is hotter than Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn. I liked the third movie _The Return of the King _the most. It was too cute how Edward how Edward behaved. I was already in bed Edward on the other side was running through the room. He bought chocolate and drinks and turned off the light.

"Edward, relax! This is more than enough. Settle down or you will miss the movie." Edward blushed again. Seriously he never behaved that way around me but I loved it. Together in bed we were watching the final battle in the movie. I was tired again. Pregnancy wasn't my thing. I wasn't showing but I was tired all the time, not to mention my appetite.

"Is this okay?" Edward asked as he moved closer. Poor guy stayed the whole movie as far away from me as he could.

"This is your bed and yesterday you did say yourself 'It's like our sleepovers'"

"I don't remember much from yesterday."

"You were a perfect gentleman so stop worrying." I talked about the evening, the morning completely forgotten.

"So what are your plans for you holidays here?" Edward asked and played with my hair. I have no idea why he always felt the need to play with it.

"To be honest. The most important thing for me was leaving New York."

"I understand you. Back then with Tanya I felt the same need."

"Do you have contact with her?" Edward's mood changed. I knew she was a red flag but he mentioned her first. His eyes were glued to the television.

"No!" I didn't want to argue. " Tomorrow I want to get a new haircut. Change is what I need."

"But you won't cut your hair short, right?" No he was worried. It was funny. I had a relationship with his bed and as it seemed Edward with my hair.

"I don't know." I yawned. I tried to move closer to Edward. He was warm and he had this soft green pillow that I wanted.

"You're tired again?" He put his arm around me. Yes, this was the perfect place to sleep. I shrugged. And that was when I realized for the first that I felt the need to nuzzle his neck. You don't want nuzzle a friend's neck.

Closing my eyes, I breathed out a gentle sigh. I hoped these were pregnancy hormones and no real feelings. After Ben and Riley I had enough off men. At least for the next few weeks. I felt Edward move. He kissed my forehead as his warm hand brushed back and forth across my stomach. It was difficult to stay awake. This position was dangerous and I knew it.

"Sleep!" Edward whispered. The combination of his warmth and touch lulled me to sleep. I could worry about my feelings now but there is still tomorrow…

* * *

**Bella and feelings... **

**So what do you think? I'm not happy with this chapter but I wanted to show you cute Edward.  
Before I forget it to the nice people that actuelly leave a review. If you don't like the story, don't read it. Bella was supposed to be unlikeable. I want to write about her change which won't happen over night.  
**

**I still need a beta :(  
**


	19. Spending money and time

**Hey guys,  
**

**the next chapter. I don't have much to say. As always I don't own Twilight and I make mistakes. But I have one important thing: I really need a beta. Have fun and ignore my mistakes ;D  
**

* * *

**Chapter 18 – B POV **

The next morning I awoke in the same position as yesterday. Edward was holding me in a death grip. I tried to move but Edward forbid it. He mumbled something about soft pillow. At the time I felt his hand moving from my small baby bump up to my right breast. Oh no buddy – I can't stand these embarrassing mornings. For Edward I really hoped he was asleep. My breasts still hurt so he better didn't start to grope. Totally lost in my thoughts I didn't notice that Edward moved even closer. His hair tickled me. His head was right next to his hand. This could have been nice but I didn't need a complicated friendship slash relationship in my life.

Boy, Edward was heavy. Moving myself didn't help but moving Edward could be a success. First his hand. Really gentle I tried to release my body from his gripe. This one was easy but his head was a different thing. Luckily he started to mumble about a missing piece and turned around. Finally free I ran into the bathroom. It was cold outside the bed. I almost went back but what would I've told Edward when he woke up with me cuddling him. For the last few months I had enough awkward situations.

To return Eddie's favor I wanted to cook breakfast but the only thing left from yesterday were eggs. Scramble eggs and fresh coffee were my only option.

"Do I smell fresh coffee?" Edward came into the kitchen. Did I mention how cute he was in the mornings. Like always his hair was wild but the best part was his choice in pajamas. Edward was only sleeping in pants and missed his shirt. He was no fashion model or athlete but he had a fine body. Not like in high school. Back then he was too skinny.

"No need to worry, it's just for you. Sit down, I want to serve you today." Edward behaved weird again. He was staring at me. "Calm down it's nothing special. Just eggs."

"Wow. Thank you Bella." Edward sat down.

"I hope these are okay. I'm not sure how to flavor these days. I think the pregnancy changed my taste." I had to warn the poor guy.

"You can't do much wrong with eggs." Edward took a bite. I watched his face closely. As he chewed his facial expression was set in stone.

"You don't have to eat them." Maybe I used too much pepper.

"No, no, no they taste good." And there was his fake smile. I ate m eggs. For me thy tasted fine.

"Edward if you don't like them you don't eat them. I won't be angry." My idea to cook wasn't that good. "I think you still have some bread." But he was stubborn. He really ate everything. When he was finished, I bought him more coffee.

"Tell me more about your novel!" This morning I almost stepped onto papers on the floor of the bedroom.

"It's about a man, who lost his family at a car accident. Afterwards he travels around the world to deal with his grief."

"Okay" I didn't know what to say. To be honest I wanted to cry.

"Oh Bella. It won't be a sad story. It's supposed to be constitutive." Edward saw the tears in my eyes.

"So will you stay here or will you leave again?"

"I can't write insight."

"Could I tag along?" I didn't want to be alone.

"No Bella. Why don't you go sightseeing? I gave you the city map."

"I hate these things."

"_You_ are impossible."

"Just tell me where I can go shopping." I was seriously in need of new clothes.

"Go to Knightsbridge. There are tones of shops. Harrods but you will like Harvey Nichols more."

"Where is Knightsbridge?" Edward could have been my guide. That could have been fun. Me annoying him until we start arguing again. Don't get me wrong, cute Edward was great but I missed our little conflicts.

"Don't walk. Take a taxi. I'll explain you the tube later. Thanks for the breakfast." Edward kissed my check and took his bag next to the door. "Don't spend too much money!" He smiled encouraging.

.

.

.

Edward was right. Harvey Nichols was my heaven. First I went to Harrods but there were tons of tourists. It was like Macy's in back home. Harvey Nic's, how the girls called it here, was noble, more like a boutique. I went from one shelf to the next and caught pieces from Dolce & Gabbana, Alexander McQueen or Marc Jacobs. And then I found some new brands, stuff for the winter. There was just one bad moment. Every woman on this planet knew that feeling. You are in this awful small changing room with weird light that make you look fat, you try a shirt or a jeans and notice your old size is too small. Horror!

Okay, I was seventeen weeks pregnant and yes I gained some weight but more than two sizes. I wasn't really showing, only my cleavage grew bigger. Normally I was flat as a wall but now I had these fantastic boobs, which I loved. Sorry but it's the truth.

How could I gain that much weight? Why didn't I notice it. I watched my backside and tried to see a change. I can't gain that much weight over night, right?

I went outside the changing room and searched the very noticeable shop assistant who wore a red leather skirt.

"Excuse me but are the sizes different here? I have the feeling I need everything in a bigger size."

She started to laugh. "You're from America?"

I nodded.

"We have different sizes here. Back in New York you wore a four?"

"Yes", I told her proudly, "but the last few weeks I wore a six."

"It's size ten here."

"Oh thank God. For a short moment I was scared."

"Should I bring you all your stuff in you size?" I nodded thankful and went back to my changing room. Before the assistant could run off I asked for a skirt like hers. Back in the small booth I examined the curve of my stomach. Just two days ago Edward asked me about it. It seems like it grew the last two days. It was also really hard. Sure I didn't train as much as before the wedding but I hoped with the right diet I could keep my figure for a few months. When the shop assistant, Vanessa was her name, came back she started to squeal.

"You are pregnant. Congratulations. How far are you?" That was the reaction that I wanted from my mother.

"Four month and a week." Unconsciously I stroked my small bump.

"Wow you look phenomenal. First I didn't notice you were pregnant." Her compliments were even cuter with her thick accent. I thanked her and tried all my new clothes on. One hour later and five incredible outfits later I noticed the stuff here was more expensive than back in the U.S.. I knew how much money I still had but I should have been more careful. Otherwise I would need a job. My next stop was this amazing shop for shoes. I thought my new lovers deserved the right shoes. A new pair of Jimmy Choos were the high point of this shopping trip. Maybe I could wear them when I leave the hospital with my dream guy and daughter.

.

.

.

I spent the next two weeks with the same activity. I went shopping the whole day. You would have done the same thing. There was this huge selection out of brands: Joseph in the Old Bond Street, Caroline Charles at the Beauchamp Place or my favorite street – Oxford street with Top Shop, Mark & Spencer or Next, just to mention a few. In the afternoon I took a small nap in Eddie's amazing bed. Edward arrived most of the time in the evening. We would eat take out and watch old movies. Sometimes he would cook. After my miserable try to cook breakfast he politely told me he should cook, because he was my host. Around midnight we both went to bed. Not together. I always went into my small room, tried to sleep for thirty minutes and crawled into Edward's bed. He was a heavy sleeper, most of the time he didn't notice me. Around six in the morning I would wake up thanks to morning sickness (no clue why people call it morning sickness, I had it all day). Edward always ended up hugging me. Sometimes he would stroke my bump or he tried to grope my breasts. Like I said he was a heavy sleeper. Most of the time I tried to save myself from his death grip and go back to my "bed". But not this one morning.


	20. A storm is coming

**Hey,  
**

**this chapter took me years. As always I don't own Twilight and I make mistakes - ignore them or stop reading ;D  
**

* * *

**Chapter 19 – B POV **

Forget what I said about shopping, this bed, his bed, was my heaven. Sure I had to share it but I saw Edward as an extra warm, heavy blanket. I was more that five weeks in London, not once he asked when I would leave. Good for me, I had no idea how I would explain him my plans.

One day, it was Saturday I had this amazing dream. It wasn't my first wet dream in this bed. Like I said before, Edward grew up to a gorgeous man. I told myself it was only natural that I reacted to him that way. Also I heard once that pregnant woman can get really horny.

_I was standing in the kitchen, preparing dinner for our movie nights. This kitchen was not the one in Edward's flat. This one was bright with big windows. I think I knew these windows from somewhere but back to the important part. I wore skinny Levis jeans with my favorite sweater. It was not really my sweater. I stole it from Edward. It was so comfy and big. My baby bump was bigger in my dream. _

_I felt him before I heard him. He stood behind and moved my hair to one side so he could start kissing my neck. His lips felt amazing. I leant against him, my knees already weak. _

"_Put the knife away before you hurt yourself. Today we order in." It was dream guy. I tried to turn around but he didn't let me. He wanted me! He wanted me more than anything in the world. I felt loved and cherished. His hands moved around my waist. That was the first time I really noticed them. I knew these hands. They were really soft for a guy. It's Edward._

"_Baby stop thinking. You're miles away." Edward closed the space between us once again. He was latching his lips onto my skin and again I sank into his touch again. _

"_You fucking drive me wild." He growled as he bite into my shoulder. I loved every bit of his seduction. At the same time he pressed his knee between my thighs, right into my wet core, grounding it out and creating a sweet, tortuous friction. I whimpered. _

"_You are going to be the death of me!" His voice was thick with want. This was not Eddie, my old school friend who loved to argue with me. My Edward changed. The scene changed. We were in a bedroom. I could lie and describe it but I only concentrated on this handsome man in front of me. _

"_Tell me what you want!" So demanding. I loved every minute of it. _

"_You!" I choked out. He stroked my jaw with his nose. Just then I noticed he started to purr. This guy was perfect. His hand was under my shirt. _

"_I think this one is mine and I. WANT. IT. BACK!" Before he finished the sentence I was standing shirtless in front of him. _

"_Such a naughty girl. Did you forget your bra on purpose?" His eyes were fixed on my erect nipples. All this was too much. "Please!" I felt no shame. I needed something. The ache down south got worse by seconds. Edward moved his hand from my stomach down to my jeans. Edward was running his finger along the seam of my panties. He wanted to kill me, this was pure torture. _

My eyes fluttered open and realization hit me hard. Edward and I were spooning. His naked chest against my back was too hot. But that wasn't the only thing I noticed. As it seemed I wasn't the only one with good dreams. We both went innocently to bed but over the night I moved closer to the center of it, well, Edward did the same. It was nothing new but this time Edward was pushing his really hard erection into my hip. I whimpered. If he won't stop soon I could have lost my self-control. After this really good dream there was no chance for Edward.

He started to gently palm my breast. He was a boob man. Last week I wore an old shirt from New York. Boy, the whole evening he talked to my cleavage. It was cute. I doubt he noticed it and to be honest I took it like a compliment. Just between us girls, I loved my cleavage nowadays. Beside the sickness and weird appetite these days, this side of pregnancy I liked. Edward startled me with his moan. I really should stop this now.

I tried to wiggle myself out of his hold but it didn't help. Edward must have like it because he started to purr. Like in my dream. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just wake him up. Our position would have been so embarrassing; he would have ignored me for the rest of my stay. Let him finish? No way in hell, if I don't get my final he would have to wait too. The walls here were paper-thin. One time I heard Edward in the shower. Sure it was a hot show for me but I didn't plan to give him a free show. We were just friend.

"Hmm" I prayed he wouldn't wake up.

"Bella?" Could I fake sleep? He knew me pretty well. I had my eyes still closed, I knew I didn't snore and decided to give it a try.

"Oh shit." I heard him mumble. He almost ran out of the room. I didn't know to if I should start laughing about this ridiculous situation or start crying because I was still horny. Edward closed the door to the bathroom and the shower start running. I took Edward's pillow and smelt it. It was still warm. Edward was the only person I knew here in London. I realized I felt lonely. Sure I had him but my friends or family back home didn't care about me. None of them tried to call me. Last week I called Vic. We talked about ten minutes. I told her about my great shopping trips and lied about new friends. Vic wasn't too happy to hear from she. She answered my question about work but she sounded bored. On my shopping trips here in London I never met woman I did like. Beside Vanessa, but she was ten years younger than me and kind of depressed me. She was young, single and had a great job. My life against hers was sad and boring. I was alone, pregnant and had no real job. I won't mention my age again. I decided to ignore as long as I was still looking younger than I was.

Edward was almost out of the door when I entered the kitchen.

"Hey! You leaving so early?" He never wrote his articles of his novel here but he never left that early. Normally we would eat breakfast together.

"Hmm, you see I have this important meeting." He was blushing. Edward wasn't a good liar. I thought about arguing with him but stayed quiet.

"I thought about our conservation yesterday. You are right, woman alone in bars seem desperate for attention." Edward was still in front of the door. So now he couldn't even look at me? Great. Stupid hormones – I wanted to cry.

"Does that mean we go out tonight?" I really missed that. Back in New York I was never home. After work I would meet Rachel or Des and we would spend the evening together. I loved spending time with Edward but sometimes I thought he was ashamed to be my friend. Don't get me wrong, he was always lovely to me but we never did something together outside the flat.

"Yes. I thought maybe I could introduce you to some of my friends." Edward was talking with the door now.

"Tonight? I'm sure you now some trendy club here."

"No. I hoped you noticed that I'm not a party guy. I thought about a great pub." He wore his brown leather jacket and searched for his cigarette. I wasn't a big fan of pubs but I needed a change of scenery. Yes, I was that desperate. "Everything you want, Edward." And he was outside the door.

.

.

.

In the evening I put my favorite jeans on. I was happy that it still fit. To my jeans I wore a cute white blouse on. The best thing about this blouse was that it emphasized my small bump.

"What do you thing?" I showed Edward my outfit. He was reading a book and didn't listen.

"Nice." Why did I even ask him? He had no fashion sense. I stood in front of him. "Do I look pregnant?"

"I don't know!" He put his book away," I know you're pregnant so I see it. Why? Do you want to hide it?"

"Well, maybe a little bit. Just because I'm pregnant, doesn't mean I have to stop dating now." He rolled his eyes. So now he was annoyed. Together we leaved the apartment and went onto the street. I thought he meant the pub, which was five minutes away but he surprised me when he stopped a cab. "Ladies first!" Edward opened the door.

"I really like your Levis." It was true.

"Thanks. It's really old."

I nodded and continued, "There a two groups of guys, you know?"

"No?" Edward was confused.

"One group wears great jeans and the others don't…. and it's not about the brand. It's about colors, size etc. And you my friend got this one right. "

Edward started laughing. Finally I was worried he would stay grumpy. "Thank God, I started to worry about this jeans."

"This is fun. So do we meet your friends at the pub?" He told me the bourgeois name and I started to worry. I couldn't stand a boring evening after all I wore my tight jeans. But when we arrived I knew Edward really tried. The pub had a relaxing mode and was a mix between his and my taste. Inside the pub were tons of people. At the bar I saw two possible candidates for dream guy. They both stood next to each other at the bar, guy A was smoking and handsome guy b drank a beer. Both wore suits. Guy B even winked at me.

"Are these your friends?" I caught Edward's attention.

"No, my friends are in our age. These guys there are teens." Edward muttered.

"We are not that old and they aren't teenagers." I took a closer look. Just then I realized A and B couldn't be older than twenty.

"So tell me, did you see James and Irina?" I was curious about his friends. "They probably sit somewhere." Edward was Mister Grumpy again. I remembered the time when Edward got his driver's license. He was the first one in our group. Together with Angela, we drove to cinema to celebrate it. Like today I spent too much time for Edward's liking in front of the mirror. The whole drive Edward and I argued about which movie we should see. Edward and I were so distracted that we ignored Angela's scream completely. We concentrated that much on our argument that Edward overlooked the red light. We almost hit a green car. Even after the shock we made it in time to see the new movie. Of course we watched Edward's movie. Edward gave me the fault for the almost accident. Between the mix of nostalgia and abasement I didn't notice Edward's friend.

"Bella let me introduce you. This is James and his wife Irina." Edward said and hugged his best friend. As expected they were like Edward. I don't judge people because of their clothes but both wore a mix of different browns. James had blonde hair and was a bit smaller that Edward. Irina was taller than her husband. She had long black hair and was really pale. She wore a brown sweater with a long skirt. I would have been okay with that. It was not like I had to wear them, it was here eyes.

"Hi, Bella nice to meet you." James hugged me. His wife was a different story.

"Hello." That was all what she said to me. Her look had something derogatively. Right there I felt an intensive animosity. "We heard a lot about you." She said. Edward would never tell his friends my sob story, right? I wished we were in his flat, alone. We sat down and Edward went ordering the first round of our drinks. James asked me tons of questions about New York. Irina just smiled. I answered James questions but I only thought about Irina. She probably thought I was alone and pregnant and because of that miserable. I'm sure she thought I had no money because I stayed with Edward. I loved people with prejudice. Normally I was the one who had prejudices.

Edward came back and tried to change the topic to sport. Irina stopped him rudely.

"Bella you didn't told us if you liked it here? Is that the reason you are still here?" Wow this woman was rude. James was such a nice guy but then I saw things in a clearer light. She knew about Ben and Angela. I had no idea how to answer her. I hoped Edward would save me but he ignored every one at the table and watched the people outside the pub. I didn't want to ruin Edward's friendship with her so I answered her. When we waited for the bill she started again. "A few month ago, we met your friend Angela. Such a nice woman." I stopped breathing.

"Oh you know her? That's great. Edward didn't mention that." I glared at Edward.

"Yes", he said, " They meet her when Ange visited me." He couldn't look me into my eyes. I felt like a truck hit me. How could he forget to mention **her **stay in London? I felt my eyes watering. He could have warned me. The worst part wasn't Irina's behavior or Edward's secret; no this was proof that Angela had feeling for Ben month ago. She even spoke about them with Edward and his friends. I thought she kept her feelings a secret. To get proof for my assumptions I looked straight into Irina's eyes and said "When you meet my friend Angela, did she told you about her feelings for my fiancé. Or did she tell you that they both fucked behind my backs. Or that she couldn't tell me truth about their affair, that I had to find them fucking on the kitchen floor?" I couldn't stop. "Did she tell you about her plans or were they already fucking?" All the hurt that I tried to push away was there. I came to London so I could forget them but Edward, the only friend that I still trusted, reminded me of them. James wore a pained expression on his face. Edward continued to watch the other guest.

"I'm happy that I least some people get enjoyment out of this story." To mad to think straight I tried to stand up. Unfortunately my heels got caught in my chair. The young girls at the table next to ours started to laugh. When I was finally free I searched money in my bag. Just then I remembered my purse was still in the bathroom. This was bad luck because I planned to throw money on the table. Fuck it, I thought and just went outside the pub. I didn't know where I was but I hoped I could find a cab easily. I couldn't walk, my feet already hurt and I had no idea which way I had to take.

"Bells, wait. Just five minutes. I still have to pay." He said it angrily, like he had the right to be angry. I didn't notice him before I he was standing in front of me.

"You should apologize." I screamed.

"Just wait, I'll be back." I crossed my arms, glared at him but agreed. It was not like I had a different choice. I saw him running inside to his friends. James glared at Irina but she just laughed. I couldn't stand their sight and started walking. How dared he to be angry with me. He wasn't better than my mother or Angela. He didn't care about me. So I just left.

* * *

**Poor Bella, she never gets a break. This was my frist real try to write a lemon and what did I learn? Reading lemons is so much easier than writing them. So don't be too hard on me.  
**

**Love, R.  
**


	21. A hurtful truth

**Nothing much to say. Enjoy the chapter (The few of you who hate Bella - you will love this chapter)  
**

**As always my English isn't perfect and I don't own Twilight.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 20 – E POV**

Fuck this day. My morning was bad enough but this evening was pure hell. Living with Bella was surprisingly easy. I even let her stay in my bed. That was problem number one. Each night we would do the same dance. We would watch some movie together; afterwards I would go into my bed and she into hers. Around midnight she would sneak into my bed. I knew her "bed" wasn't comfortable so I let her stay. Angela did the same when she visited me but we never ended up cuddling. I don't know why but her body pulled me to her. Some mornings I was groping her breasts or I humped her hip. Yes, I'm a fucking perv – this never happened to me.

This morning I had this great dream. Of course it was about Bella and me and damn it was hot. I awoke in a very uncomfortable situation. Like always I was groping her. I prayed to god she wasn't awake. She didn't move or mumbled like she normally did.

"Bella?" No reaction – Thank God. I ran out of the room and took care of my problem in the shower like a teenager. Did I have feelings for Bella? I don't know. She didn't change over the weeks. All she did was shopping. She also ignored her pregnancy. I talked about this with my mother but her only answer was: "Give her time. I know she has no contact to her parents and she lost her best friend and fiancé. It's a lot to take in."

I thought about talking with her about her problems but that would lead to a big fight and I doubt Bella would need that.

So I did what my mother said. On top off that I gave in into her nagging. She wanted to go out. Meet some of my friends. She even threatened to go alone. She knew she had me there because of my protective nature. I hadn't many friends here in London but I knew some couples that Bella could like. I tried to call Royce and Rosalie but didn't reach them. Next I tried Jasper and Alice. Alice was as addicted to fashion as Bella but they had no time. There were also my single friends but no way in hell I would introduce Bella to them. Sorry but I'm a protective idiot. With my luck she would end up with one of them. The only option left was James and Irina. James was okay, I guess, but his wife was a mean bitch if she wanted to be. Bella can be a bitch too and even Angie liked her. Luckily they had time. On our way to the pub Bella was in a good mood. I didn't saw her smile that much in a long time but her mood change quickly over the evening. I noticed how Irina looked at Bella but I hoped she would leave her prejudices behind. No luck there. Irina asked Bella how long she planned to stay here and in my opinion the question is not bad. I was really interested what Bella would answer. Bella started to glare at Irina and made a huge show. She was not only rude but also said inappropriate stuff about Angie. I felt so stupid in that moment. To be honest I thought all the shopping was her therapy. Maybe she made some new friends but no, she kept all the anger bottled up inside her. All evening long I watched more the people outside the pub, I didn't like Irina too much but that was enough. In typical Bella fashion she ran out and made a huge show. Such a drama queen. I found her outside. Maybe the fresh air helped her to realize how rude she just was. No, she started to scream at me. It wasn't easy to stay cool, I told her to wait for me. By now she knew the sub system but she had no clue where we were. I went inside and paid our bill.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know why she behaved that way." I apologized to them.

"No need to worry Edward. She is pregnant and Irina here, wasn't that nice to her." James glared at his wife. I didn't understood what he meant but Bella was more important now.

"Really James! She is a bitch and I think she deserved everything. Edward you should throw her out." Irina laughed. Was she drunk? Maybe I missed something this evening. I went back outside and there was no Bella. Shit, I shouldn't have left her alone. Bella left her cell back home, so I had no way to reach her. Did she take a cab? Maybe she went back inside? No, she was probably to stubborn and just walked away. This woman will kill me sometime. How would I explain my mother this dilemma. She was so worried about Bells, she threatened me already two times to visit us.

"Bella?" I screamed and got weird looks and of course no answer. 'It's either right or left', I thought. So I started to walk. She had to be close. I felt the cigarettes in my left pocket. I tried to smoke less but Bella was a huge stress factor. After twenty minutes of walking I saw her. A broken figure in the dark. She was sitting on a bench with one shoe in her hand. These killer heels were hot but can't be comfortable. I heard her crying and my anger was forgotten.

"Bells?"

"Go away. I'll find a way to your apartment and tomorrow I'll leave." She didn't look at me.

"Bella, I don't get your problem. Irina asked you one question and you start to scream like a maniac. Let us go home. We can talk there." I tried to touch her shoulder but she wasn't having it.

"One innocent question? Edward didn't you see how she looked at me? She judged me from the beginning." Bella brushed her tears away. I felt sorry for her but I was still angry.

"Let's go." She didn't move, I tried again, "You and Irina didn't get along." I really tried to stay calm.

"She is a huge bitch, Edward!"

"Please calm down."

"But I don't want to!", she screamed, "How could you do this to me. How could you allow that I meet these people when they knew everything? You could have warn me or mention Angela. I can't believe it. I bet you all got a good laugh out of me. You were supposed to my friend."

"I am your friend!"

"Then tell me what they know, Edward. Oh and tell me everything you know about Angela and Ben."

I felt my anger rise " Not here, Bella."

"No, we talk about it now!" Bella screamed. I didn't answer her. I saw a cab and stopped it. "Come!"

Back home Bella stormed into the bathroom. She stopped crying in the cab. I knew all this anger wasn't good for her and the baby but she needed to learn. She could have been ten minutes in the bathroom or an hour. I don't know. All I thought about was what I should tell her. When she came back she threw her shoes into the next corner.

"Okay. Listen." I tugged on my hair. "I'm so over your shit, Bells. I really had enough of it."

"No need to tell me. I had enough, too." She sat down next to me. I wasn't finished. This time I would talk.

"We talk about it tonight but not that's it, okay?" I didn't want to be too harsh.

"Okay", she said, "That's what I want.

"Okay, when Angela visited me, she told me about her feelings for Ben."

"I knew it." I lifted my hand.

"Do you listen to me or should I stop?" She only nodded.

"She had these feelings for a while but not that long." I knew this must have been hard.

"How long?" Bella was quiet.

"A few weeks back then, maybe months."

"A few months?" Her voice got louder. I watched her closely and felt the need to glare at her. "Sorry, please continue."

"I don't have more to say." I was unsure what would happen next.

"Do you know when their affair started?" I didn't want to tell her. It was not my place to say something about. This was Ben or Angela's job. "Edward, say it. I can see it in you eyes, you know it."

"All I know is that Angela didn't want these feelings. At the end of her stay in London, she told me she wanted to ignore them. You were more important to her than her own luck."

"Tell me the date, Edward." Her voice was hard again. I didn't want to say it. "Was it before or after her birthday." I tried to look away. That was the mistake. She stopped breathing and watched her fingers. "That's why he didn't come home that night." I heard her mumble. She was quiet for ten minutes. I was never in such kind position but she probably thought about signs of their affair. Then she started talking. She told me that Ben worked more and more and Angela had never time for her. In that moment I felt sorry for her and anger for Angela. Angie had enough time to tell her the truth. Bella wasn't innocent but Ben an Angie did their part too.

"How could you, Edward!" She started crying again.

"How could I do what?"

"How could allow that I meet these people? They knew the whole story. I'm some kind of joke to you. You probably had a good laugh behind my back."

"Nobody laughs about you." No need to mention Irina now.

"Sure, this stupid cow didn't stop laughing about me."

"Well Irina is a rude person but she can be nice." She was still my friend; well her husband was my friend.

"Then tell me the rest! Be honest now, Angela talked about Ben and her affair."

I had to think. If I say something wrong now, Bella and Angela would never be friends again and they needed each other. "It's true, she talked about her relationship to Ben. But I never thought you would meet James and Irina." Shit, this was kind of my fault. "But we never said something like 'This stupid Bella, hahaha' it was more like 'What a horrible fate, to fall in love the fiancé of you best friend'."

"Oh yes! How could I forget the poor, poor Angela?" Bella stood up. She walked from on end to the other. She really should calm down.

"This is not about me and Ben. This is about Angela and Bella." Wow third person now. "I could have never done that to her."

"Are you sure?" I stood up went to the only window in the room.

"Never!" Liar!

"I have to believe you when you say it like that."

"What does that mean? I never, really _never, _tried to steal Angela's boyfriends."

Now I had to smirk.

"Eddie, please! Riley and Angie were not serious. They had one date. Maybe one small kiss. This is not the same." Bella defended herself.

"I didn't thought about him." I won't say his name. In my eyes he was full of shit. To leave a girl pregnant, to leave you own child, was in my opinion the biggest mistake in his life.

"And who do you think about?"

"I had no name in my mind. But I think you would have done the same in her situation."

"No. Never." But I ignored her. "When I think about it you never think about others. You take what you want and don't care about the aftermath. Angela was always number two next to you. You never cared about her feelings. You did it through high school and college and now you lose your power – and you don't like it. Because you don't know the difference."

"What… no that's not true … how can you say something like that?"

"You were the star in high school, college and Manhattan. Now it's time for Angie to shine but you won't let her. You can't be happy for her because you are selfish."

"How could I be happy about losing my future, my friend. That has to be a joke."

"Bella, don't you see? You did the same. Maybe this talk would be different if you loved Ben truly. Because you cheated on him."

"But they did it first." Now we were back to kindergarten. We stood really close together. Her face could have touched my chest.

"Bella, really?"

"How you could you say that?" It wasn't just anger in her voice, I think she never thought about her actions.

"When you can't be happy for Angela. Be happy for Ben. He wants to be with her. He'll be happy with her. He didn't want to marry you. So we can ignore the whole cheating situation. As a friend, as your friend, I tell you: Leave them behind and be happy for them! Continue you life." One tear ran down her face. She didn't want to believe me. She started walking again.

"Edward, it's just wrong. You don't date the ex of your best friend. It's some kind of secret code between friends."

"Sometimes you can't control your feelings, Bella" I wish you could, I add in my head.

"Could you stop that talk about feelings. I know it, no need to repeat it all the time. You don't understand girl-friendship."

"Bella, don't take it the wrong way. I don't say it to hurt you. I care about you, I do, that's the only reason why I let you 'stay'." I had to add that. She was more like a roommate that didn't pay rent. " But I think you don't understand the meaning of friendship." I was angry now, there was no way I could stop now. "And because of that I'm you last friend. You don't talk to Angie or your parents. Or the father of your child. You have no contact to your parents and I know that you didn't tell them about your stay here. And now you argue with me."

"It's not my fault you betrayed me tonight."

"You should watch yourself in the mirror, Isabella. You should realize you behavior and the aftermath of it."

"I know that. I'm not stupid."

"Sure. You are selfish and immature." I decided to tell her everything. Her pregnancy was next.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She screamed again. Hopefully nobody heard her.

"You are pregnant. Which month? The fifth? And you never went to a doctor. You don't care about your baby. You try to hide it. You should take care of yourself and your child. Find a doctor here. Read some books. I noticed you don't eat enough, I bet you try to stay thin. You drank two glasses of wine tonight. That's not how a mother behaves. And don't get me start on your shopping. You should save the money for your child, because babies are expansive. Last time I checked, the stuff for them was expansive but not in Bellaland." She stopped moving. I waited for more but she did nothing. The tears were running freely now. I would have loved to comfort her but she needed the truth. "I have these pregnancy vitamins." Was the only thing she said.

"I think I'll sleep now." This was it. For a short moment I thought about hugging her but she had to think now. In bed I waited for her but she never came. I should ignore my feelings for her.

* * *

**Finally Edward said something. Bella will change now, will she? **


	22. Season of change

**Sorry but my real life was so hectic. But here is the next chapter. As always I don't own Twilight and I do mistakes.  
**

**Have fun,  
**

* * *

**Chapter 21 - B POV**

Edward left the room and I had no plan what to do. Edward just behaved like my mother. It was true, I was ignoring my pregnancy but I could never forgive Angela. Did she ever try to say sorry? No, we didn't have any contact since that one morning. She was my_ person_; she was my family and did the worst thing possible. I know I'm not innocent but at least I wanted to be honest. I could ignore this evening with the witch and James but Edward didn't even try to protect me. A friend would react different. Should I try talking with Edward again? I thought about it for ten minutes but decided this evening was enough. I was exhausted. In my small _cage _I felt even lonelier and realized Edward was my last true friend. Not even my family did care about me. When Edward mentioned them I felt pain in my stomach. I knew my father worried about me but I can't call him. My mother would see my call as her victory. Not even my brother tried to contact me. I was his little sister and not one call in two month.

Sleep didn't come easy. My bed wasn't as soft as Edward's. I missed Edward at my side, the noises he made in his sleep. Around 6:00 AM in the morning I awoke from a weird feeling. There was it again. And then realized it was the first time I felt the baby kick. The guilt inside me started to rise again. How could I ignore something so special? Completely in shock I pushed my heavy blanket away.

"Do it again", I whispered. It wasn't a strong kick but there was something. Suddenly I heard Edward in my head "You ignore your child. You drink alcohol and not once you visited a doctor." Did I harm my own child? My eyes watered. I wasn't better than Riley. He abandoned him or her and I ignored the baby. What kind of future could I offer it? Edward, my mother and even the witch were right. This child deserved better and then I felt it again but this time I felt more. I loved my baby and would start to protect it. For the next thirty minutes I enjoyed my happiness and ignored the rest of my world. I wanted to share my excitement and ran into Edward's bedroom. But to my big surprise it was empty. Where was he? I went into the kitchen and hoped he was writing or drinking coffee but there was just a piece of paper 'I had to get out. See you this evening! E' What did he need to do that early. I hoped he didn't want to ignore me or throw me out. Going back to New York was no option. I sat down, took a pen and wrote a list:

_1. Find a good gynecologist here in London_

_2. A healthier life – no coffee or alcohol!_

_3. Call Emmett and tell him where you are_

_4. Find new friends_

_5. No more shopping trips for me - __future shopping trips only for the baby_

_6. Find a job, maybe charitable? _

My list missed something. I should change myself not only my habits. This point was maybe the most important.

_ your character (stop being selfish, be more thoughtful!)_

While I read my list, I asked myself what Edward would think of that. Would he be proud of me? The other big question was "Why did I care what Edward would think?" A part of me wanted to hate him. Not once he thought about talking about the big fat elephant in the room. In his opinion Angela and I should be friends again but not once he asked me about my feelings. I couldn't hate him. On a very special way I wanted him in my life and show him I could be different. I stood up and began to prepare me a healthy fruit salad. Looking down on my list, I realized I should start today. There was still a missing point. I had to thank Edward so after breakfast I started to clean the flat. The place was shining clean when I noticed two hours passed. Edward didn't come in that time. With my list I went into the living room. I took Edward's old phone in my hand and dialed the number.

"Swan!" the male voice answered tired.

"Em? Shit did I wake you? I'm sorry. I'll call you l…"

"Bella? Thank God. Where are you?" I heard Emmett move.

"I'm in London." I whispered.

"London? As in England? Bella what are you doing there?" Emmett seemed really worried.

"I'm visiting Edward." I stopped. My brother knew that Edward and I loved to argue.

"Why? What? Bells, I don't get it. You live in New York. Is Riley with you? How are you?"

"Stop worrying! Edward is kind enough to let me stay here. I'm nice to him." I didn't thought about Riley for a long time. My parents didn't know about our break up. "Riley decided he didn't want to be a parent. So we ended our relationship but I think it's for the better. My child deserves better." Two minutes passed without talking.

"I don't know what to say. And you are happy about it? But you didn't tell me how you ended up in London." Emmett was awake now.

"When Riley was gone I was alone. For a short moment I thought about calling Angela but why should I call her? Not once she tried to call me. So I thought about my other friends. To make it short, I called Edward and now I'm here."

"And when will you be back? You know Dad really worries about you."

"Did he lose his phone? We both know Mom forbid him to contact me. I'm his daughter; he is supposed to care about me. For Mom I'm here big failure but I thought Daddy was different." I cried so much the last two days and felt the need for it again.

"Bella, it's complicated. You know how Mom is."

"Sure, it's normal to ignore your daughter and don't forget your first grandchild." I answered sarcastically.

"Don't be like that. Topic change. How are you?" Emmett tried to stay out of it and I would have done the same.

"I felt the baby kick for the first time." I smiled.

"Wow, that's great. So when will I see you again. I won't pass the chance to see you pregnant." Emmett chuckled.

"I don't plan to come back. At least for the next time, why don't you visit us?"

"Well I once heard pregnant woman shouldn't fly, I'll see what I can do."

"I can't wait. Sorry that I disturbed you. You should go back to sleep."

"No, I'm just happy you are still alive. I'll call you again, okay? I have to get up early. To be exact in three hours." That was my brother. He was like my Dad, hated to call someone.

"Okay, go back to sleep. Could you tell Daddy where I am? I don't care about Mom. I want o concentrate on the baby now."

"I don't think this right but okay. Love you." Emmett left me no chance to answer.

I did it. Happily I crossed point three on my list. This was a good start. I showered and went out. It was a gray day and cold. Just there I realized I should have bought all the clothes in a bigger size. Now I needed new ones like a coat. Shit, it was cold. The list in my right pocket, reminded me of my plan. I would not by new things. After all the shopping my allowance for my trip here was small. Normally I bought me new stuff as a reward. I passed a secondhand-shop. No I won't buy me something but maybe they had a job for me. She declined but I was still proud of me for trying. Right next to the shop was a small café. I ordered me a decaffeinated Latte and went into one corner. Out of the corner of my eyes I observed two women. They were sitting next to each other. The blonde one had a baby on her arm and tried to drink something. The woman next to her had black, short hair. She wore a Valentino dress. I knew this one because I had it in black. Only the smaller girl, the black-haired girl, wore a sparkling diamond ring. Maybe the gorgeous blonde was in the same situation as I was.

I drank my coffee and read an old Hello magazine. Like a freak I listened to their conservation. The blonde one told her friend how exhausted she was. No sleep, diaper changes in the middle of the night and no help. The other one had sympathy with her friend but told her it was all worth it. She told about her problems with her husband. He was not ready for a child. Their conservation was far more interesting with their British accent.

"At least you still have sex. It's not like I had the energy for it but I miss it." Rosalie, the blond one, sighed.

"When was your last time?"

"Before Charlotte's birth. Royce lost all interest in me." Rosalie sounded sad. "Oh Rose. I don't want to argue but you know my opinion of Royce." The black-haired girl hugged her. I missed girl talk.

The magazine was long forgotten so I watched the baby. Rosalie noticed it and smiled.

"She is really cute." This was my chance to start conservation. Charlotte had blond hair like her mother.

"Thank you." Rose said.

"What her name?" I asked and smiled at the baby.

"Charlotte."

"Hello, Miss Charlotte." I sang it but Charlotte ignored me. She wanted the brownie on her mother's plate. "How old is she?" I smiled at Rosalie.

"Twenty-three weeks."

"Almost six month, right?" I was no pro in baby talk.

She started to laugh. "Yes. Sorry, before I had Charlotte I was like you. I never understood why mothers would say the age of their child in weeks." I nodded and noticed how the black-haired girl eyed me like '_what are you doing here American girl?' _

"Yes, I know what you mean. I'm now almost five month…"

"Pregnant?" Both girls screamed. It was nice to get a normal reaction, a happy reaction.

"Yes." I moved my coat to show them my belly. "This morning I felt it move for the first time." I could tell that everyone it would never get boring. Sure it was sad that I told this important news some strangers and not Edward first but that was his fault.

"Congratulations." Rosalie said.

"You look amazing. Just belly", the black girl without name answered.

"Boy or a girl?"

"I don't know but I have a feeling it's a girl." I touched Charlotte's small hand. "I know what you are talking about. I had this feeling with Charlotte, too.

"You didn't want to know?" I asked.

"No, I wanted it to be a surprise. MY boyfriend knew."

"He knew it but you didn't?" I knew I wanted to know the gender.

"Yes, my doctor wrote it down for Royce. He promised he wouldn't tell it a soul. Not even our mothers."

"Unbelievable that he was able to keep the secret."

"Yep, Royce is good with secrets." The small woman said.

"Alice, stop it." Rosalie told her angrily. Alice didn't care.

"By the way, my name is Bella." I smiled.

"Well, this is Rosalie and I'm Alice." Alice told me excited, "How long will you stay here in London?"

"Hopefully forever. Right now I stay at a friend's house but who knows."

"Are you alone? Where is your boyfriend?" Alice asked. Even before she finished the sentence, Rosalie hit her "Sorry, sometimes Al here forgets her manners."

"No it's okay." So I told them my story. I only told them about Riley. I would try to forget Angela.

"How could he?" Alice screamed. "What an ass." Rose murmured. They were under my spell. So I decided to tell them the whole story. Wit Angela, Ben and their affair.

"In your position, I would sit in the corner and I cry." I laughed. "I did that over the last few months."

"So you stay at your good male friend, is he gay?" Alice was serious.

"Eddie is straight but we are just friends."

"Sorry but I already had this romantic story in my head." Alice was bubbling again.

"Yes I'm single but if you know someone…." It was worth a try.

"You know what I have this great idea." Alice took my hand, "I host tomorrow night a dinner party. Why don't you come? Rose and I have this good friend of ours. He is divorced and a really great guy."

"You mean David?" Rosalie made a grimace.

"No, I'm talking about Jake." Alice rolled her eyes, "He is really good with children."

Maybe these two women could really help with my search for my Prince Charming.

"Wait, you don't like David?" Alice asked Rosalie.

"No, he is okay but he is such a nerd and he does have red hair. I doubt she will like gingerheads." Rose took a sip from her tea.

"What is a gingerhead?" I had no clue what they were talking about.

"He does have orange hair." Alice laughed. I really tried not to be cursorily but orange was too much.

"Yes, Rose is right. So tell me more about Jacob. He preferred Jake and he was from Ireland. He was a doctor. They didn't tell me more. They wanted to _surprise _me.

"Oh before I forget it. I need to find a doctor here in London. Do you know a good one?" Alice and Rosalie shared a look. It was kind of weird but I ignored it.

"Yes, you should go to Dr. Black. He is my doctor and he was great." Rosalie answered. Charlotte felt asleep while I told them my story. "Alice, give her his number."

"I don't know maybe she should go to Dr. Laurent." Alice seemed to be unsure, "But here is his number."

"Thank you. " I saw the clock on the wall. "Oh it's already that late. Sorry but I promised I would cook for my friend today." Yes, it was a small lie but I really wanted to cook for Edward. I also hoped I could call Dr. Black and may I would get an appointment today.

"Oh of course. We should leave, too. Charlotte will be awake soon and then she is hungry." Rose tried to move without waking the child. We exchanged our numbers.

"And don't forget to call me soon. We should go shopping together. I knew this fantastic store for baby stuff." Alice hugged me. "And don't forget the party tomorrow."

I have found some friends. Today was a great day. I crossed already two things on my list.

Back home I tried to call Dr. Black's office but it was closed. I decided to try it tomorrow again. I was already late in the afternoon and still no sign of Edward. My cooking was still horrible so I ordered Edward's favorite. We knew this small restaurant and they had the best lasagna. I was in the kitchen when Edward finally came.

"Bella? Are you in the kitchen?" I heard his steps. "Are you cooking? This smells amazing." And there he was. All he could say was "Wow."

"Hey, I ordered your favorite dinner. This is my "I'm sorry"-dinner."

* * *

**This chapter was too long. I'll post the next chapter tomorrow.  
**

**I loved the reviews for the last chapter, so what do you think about Bella's list?  
**


	23. Blue or Pink?

**I know I promised to update on Friday but this chapter was difficult to write. I already wrote the next one. Maybe I'll post it later or tomorrow. As always I don't own Twilight and I make mistakes.  
**

**Have fun!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 22 – B POV **

"You cooked?" Edward hesitated.

"No, silly. I don't think you would survive my cooking. Here since I can't drink the wine, I thought you cold take a glass." I smiled and hand him the glass.

"This really looks amazing. Wait, did you clean the apartment?" Edward looked around.

"Yes as 'Thank you'." For the first time in a long time I was proud of myself. "So do you still think I'm a horrible friend?"

He took a sip and sat down "I didn't mean it that way." I sat down next to him "Yes, you did!"

He tried to hide his smirk. "You can be a good friend if you want to. Darcy, today you tried. Thank you." My old self would have want a huge apology and maybe a small present. But his small 'Thank you" was enough.

"And do you know what happened this morning?" I really wanted to tell him my big news. I didn't give him enough time to say and just exploded. "I felt the baby kick for the first time."

"Wow", was all what Edward said, "For the first time?"

"Yes. But since this morning I felt nothing. Should I worry?"

"No." Edward's eyes focused on his hand. "I remember when Tanya was pregnant …. She felt the baby one time and then nothing for days. The doctor told us when she was active the baby would move less." I didn't try to stare but I saw the hurt in Edward's eyes. He told me yesterday I was running from my problems maybe he did the same.

"Are you sad about it?" I asked him.

"I'm not sad about Tanya but sometimes I think about Logan. Then I'm sad."

"Who is Logan? The father of the child?"

"No, Logan was the Baby."

"Oh" was my smart answer. I should have remembered the name. I watched Edward and tried to react like Angela would. What would she say? In my opinion there was nothing I could have said to him that would help.

"For nine month I thought, I will be someone's Daddy. I was there – every doctor's appointment. I even chose the name Logan." He touched his hair. "And finally the day was there and Tanya gave birth and I saw it was not mines."

"When did you know?"

"Well I'm white as a wall and the baby was brown. He had black curls and his eyes were dark brown. I thought about my baby photos. My hair was red and Tanya has blue eyes and blonde hair."

"How did you react?"

"The first few days I said nothing. I tried to ignore it maybe he was special or sick. In my head I heard our old biology teacher 'Blue eyes and green eyes don't accomplish a Logan.'"

I took his hand. "This must have been hard."

"It was horrible. I mean, I loved the little guy. So much that I thought about staying with her. Well, you know the rest." Angela told me about his divorce. I ignored him to that time, I don't remember why.

"But you did the right thing." Edward started to stroke my hand. "I know."

"Do you think I did the right thing? I mean, keeping the baby?"

"Absolutely."

"Even through you think I'm a bad mother?" For a short second I wanted to mention my list but decided against it.

"You will learn over time. And don't forget I'm here." In that moment I wanted to kiss. He was such a great guy. Tanya was a lucky girl. I asked myself why it felt different with Edward. Riley, Ben and the other men were like games to me but not Edward.

Edward stood up. "Come let's eat." It was better that way. I couldn't lose Edward as a friend. He was too important for me. I already lost a good friend this year.

Later, after dinner when we watched the news, Edward glanced at me and said. "Let's go to bed, Bells."

"In your room?" I asked hopefully.

Edward laughed. "Yes, in my room."

"Be honest: You missed me?" Edward laughed again. "Just come." The way he looked at me I knew he missed me. I also knew he was sorry about he mean things he said. He took my hand and together we went into his room. Edward liked me, even with my mistakes, when I felt asleep next to him I thought about his reaction to the new, the better Bella.

The next day I thought about my list. The most important thing on it was to be a good a mother. After Edward left, I called Dr. Black's practice. Today I was lucky and got an appointment. I didn't have much time so I took a cab to the practice. The assistant at the front desk gave me some papers to fill out. The last time Riley was at my side. I didn't think much about him but when I looked around there were only happy couples. My baby won't have that, a happy family. Suddenly I felt sick. I thought about leaving but then I remembered my list. I took it out of my pocket and add another point.

_Be the best mother on this planet _

I didn't wait long until an old woman came to me, her name was Beatrix, introduced herself as midwife. She led me to a room. There she introduced me into Dr. Black. He was a good-looking guy. Tall, dark hair and brown eyes. Dressed in a gray suit he looked more like a model.

"Sorry but you don't look like a doctor." I smiled. "I'm missing the white doctor's overall."

"White is not my color." He smiled and showed me his pretty white teeth. His British accent and his amazing look were a dangerous combination. Beatrix left the room. Dr. Black asked me different question: Where I'm from, what I'm doing here. It was more small talk than the typical questions by doctors. I told him I moved here and my ex stayed in New York. I also told him my due date.

"Oh and before I forget it. I missed my last appointment in New York." I was embarrassed.

"Oh no need to worry. We will do an ultrasound today." He was really nice and I made a horrible first impression.

"Will we see the gender of the baby?" I really wanted to know it.

"With luck." Dr. Black didn't stop smiling. I heard my fast heartbeat. Today I would see my daughter for the first time. Suddenly I wished Edward were here.

"Okay, let's start. Are you ready?" Dr. Black asked. I nodded.

"Great. Go behind the curtain there and change into the coat." I nodded again. Normally I wasn't that shy. "I'll be back with Beatrix." I changed into the weird paper coat and was annoyed with myself that I missed my appointment for the bikini wax.

"Are we ready?" Dr. Black was back in the room. I moved to my _favorite _chair.

"Okay, Isabella. Scoot a bit down and put your feet onto the shoring."

"Just Bella, please." And there was his killer smile again.

"This could be uncomfortable now but I need to examine your cervix." I felt his two fingers and winced. "Sorry but everything is great." He threw the gloves into a small trashcan. He moved my paper blanked and warned me about the cold gel.

"Let's see." He moved the ultrasonic probe around my tummy. I saw a head a hand.

"Oh my god, she sucks on her small thumb, right?" I screamed. Beatrix and Dr. Black started to laugh. I was to excite to care about their reaction.

"She is perfect, isn't she?" I said. Dr. Black nodded, "Beautiful." I heard. He moved closer to the screen.

"Is something wrong? It's a girl, right?" I asked.

"Please wait a moment I need to take some measurements." For the next ten minutes it was silent. I started to worry that something was wrong with my daughter. Why did I never think about it? I drank alcohol. All this could be my fault. I felt the tears in my eyes.

"Is everything normal?" I was really scared now.

"Yes, no need to worry. Everything is normal." Was his short answer. For the first time in my life normal was enough. _Normal_ was perfect. As long as she is healthy, I'm happy.

"So are you ready for the big news?" He asked me.

"Oh, I know it's a girl." I smiled. "I had this feeling. And now I need you to tell me it's a girl so I can start buying pink things."

"Maybe I should warn you. Pink isn't the best choice for you."

"Excuse me?" What did he mean? "It's not a girl?"

"No, the first baby is no girl." He smiled proudly, like he thought everyone wanted a boy.

"Wait, what? Could you please repeat yourself?" This was a nightmare. I knew nothing about boys. They were dirty and loud. "Are you sure?"

"Well the first baby is a boy but the second one is hiding." He showed me the first heart and then I noticed a second head. Two babies. How I'm supposed to handle two children. "Two babies?" I couldn't say more.

"Yes, Bella. In a few months you will have twins. This one here is a boy and the second baby is hiding but I'm sure it's a boy too." This was a small nightmare. "Congratulations."

"Are you sure? Please look again." I can't handle two boys. There were no twins in my family. I didn't want twins!

Dr. Black and Beatrix shared a look and smiled at me. "This is a joke, right?" That was my only hope.

"No, You will be the mother of two boys. Congratulations." Dr. Black said. "I can handle one baby but two?"

"Well you can't order what you get here?" Dr. Black wrote something down. I glared at him. "But sometimes doctors do mistakes. I heard stories about it." I didn't care what he thought about me. Then he told me about the two heartbeats and sometimes it happened that boys were mistaken for girls. All I could think about was how my brother was as a small boy and started to cry. "I'm sorry but this is just too much."

"You don't need to be sorry. A lot of mothers react this way when they hear they will have twins." He took my hand. "It takes some time to adjust to that idea."

"That's an understatement." I stopped crying. Dr. Black told me I should drink a tea with Beatrix and that she could help me.

"This would be nice but I don't have time." I just wanted to be alone. Stunned I wandered through the city. I passed more than just one store for baby stuff but I wasn't in the mood for shopping. Almost home I decided to drink a tea in the café close to our apartment. The waitress bought me my order. And there was a tea strainer. I tried to remember what Edward told me how to use them. Just as I wished he would be, he entered the café. He wore his black leather jacket and the dark blue beanie. His checks were red from the cold outside.

"Ethan, hey!" I screamed.

"Hey, Bells." Edward came to my table. "How was your appointment?" I didn't want to tell him about the twin in this stupid café. "Everyone is healthy." I tried to smile but failed. "That's good."

"Just two minutes ago I wished you would be here. I have no clue how to use this weird thing." I pointed to the tea strainer. Without sitting down he went to work.

"Why don't you sit down." I asked. Edward cleared his throat. "Ah …. I'm meeting a friend here."

"Oh, who?" I thought about Irina. He pointed to the petite blonde girl in the corner. "She's sitting there." This girl, no woman, was gorgeous. She looked up from her book and waved. This day got worse and worse…. _Edward does have a girlfriend. And she is beautiful. _Edward reaction shocked me. He smiled at her and forgot about me.

"You could sit with us." He offered but in his tone I noticed he didn't want me there.

"No, it's okay. I'm here for a small break. I have a shopping date with a friend." I lied. Sure tonight was the party but I had no other plans for today. Edward looked almost pitiful at me.

"You are sure?" he asked. "Yes, don't let you date wait." I could have hit myself for this sentence.

"Well then we will see each other later, yes?"

"Yes." This feeling in my stomach got worse when he went to her and hugged her. Edward wasn't mine so why was I jealous? I drank my tea quickly and left. Tonight was this dinner party and I would meet Jacob. My romantic feelings for Edward were not good for our friendship.

* * *

**Okay what do you think about the twins? **


	24. Could it get worse?

**Hey,**

**okay I wasn't that happy with that chapter so I changed it again. I still search a beta, so if you are interested... As always I don't own Twilight and I make mistakes.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 23 – B POV **

All afternoon I thought about missing the party and to wait on Edward. But Alice and Rose really seemed nice and I could use more friends. They could give me tips for my babies. _Babies _I was still in shock. They were both healthy that was the most important but how I'm supposed two handle two small devils? After a small nap I decided I would go to the party.

While I tried to decide what to wear I heard the door.

"Edward? Is that you?" I said louder out of my room.

"Yes. Or did you invite some secret lover?" He was in a good mood. I took it as a sign for his great date. "Where are you?"

"In my room." I put one of his sweatshirts on. The sweatshirt could have been a dress. Edward came into my room and just stared. Just for a short seconds his eyes were almost black. "Hey, does it rain outside?" I asked him.

"What? Rain? Ah yes. Why don't you come into the living room I'll make us some tea." He looked down. "Sure, give me a moment." Edward didn't move. "Is something wrong?" I started to worry. "No of course not. I'm just tired." Edward shook his head and went away.

"You won't believe what happened today." I said while I sat down. Edward gave me one of his big cups.

"You got robbed?" Edward took a sip from his tea.

"No, worse!" Edward giggled. "What's worse than stealing you Gucci bag?"

"It's not funny, Edward." My voice trembled. Edward stopped smiling. "What happened?"

"I had my doctor's appointment today…"

"Everything okay with the baby?" He asked worried. I didn't now how to tell him the news. "The babies are fine."

Edward's eyes got bigger. "Babies?" I only nodded

"Like in twins?"

"Yes twins. The doctor only saw the gender of on baby, a _boy._ He thinks the second is a boy too." Edward didn't move. He even stopped breathing. "You are joking, right?"

"That was my reaction, too." The corner of his mouth moved like he tried to hide a smile.

"That's not funny Eddie… And please don't tell me this is karma and I deserve it. Because I feel punished. " I started crying. " How do I handle two babies? I get it, I'm a bad person but two babies?"

"Hey Bells, stop crying. Please Love. I would never say something like that."

"Why are you smirking?" There was nothing funny in my panic.

"Because I'm happy."

"You are happy because I'm in misery?"

"No, Bella. I'm happy for you. Two babies, that's something special and both are healthy. It's a wonder, no punishment. I wonder if they will look like Emmett." He was honest.

"You think?"

"I know it! This is great."

"But how do I handle two children?"

"You will. You have to."

"I don't think so. "

"I know you will. Believe me. You were a great mother to our teddy children when we played house." He took my hand. "Why don't you go into our bed and make you a snack?" There was my cute Edward. "No, I can't. Did you forget? I got invited into this one party?"

Edward hesitated. "How could I? I also have a meeting tonight. Well then enjoy your evening and tomorrow we celebrate your two wonders with your favorite cake." I would have loved an evening with Edward but what should I do alone in the flat when he has a 'meeting'. I'm sure it was a date with his new girlfriend. Before I could ask him about her name, he went into his room and closed the door. Sometimes I didn't get his mood. I saw the clock on the wall. I didn't have much time. I put on a beautiful midnight blue tunic dress, put on some make up and put my hair in a ponytail.

"Edward? I'm on my way. Maybe we will se each other tonight." I almost closed the door.

"Wait, Bella!" I heard Edward running. "It's too late to take the sub. Here is some money for a cab."

"You told me something different the last time." I didn't want to take his money.

"I know, but you are pregnant. Here take it!" By Edward's tone I knew he wasn't happy.

"I don't need your money, Edward." I sounded like a bitch. Sure after my shopping trips there wasn't much left but I already started searching for a job. Edward watched me for some seconds. "Okay but please take a cab otherwise I'll worry all evening."

"Yes, Daddy." I winked at him. He gave me one kiss on the forehead as goodbye. Normally I loved his affection but this time I felt pain in my stomach. He would stop this behavior soon. In my head I had this picture of his girlfriend in my head. Soon, they would want to live together and I would be alone. With two babies.

On my way to Alice's place I started to become nervous. How would the other guests react? Would they judge me like Irina did? I didn't have much time to think about it. The cab drive only took 10 minutes. So I could have walked. Typical Edward. I paid the driver and went to the door. I took a deep breath and knocked.

"Hey, Bella. I'm so happy you made it." Alice smiled brightly. She remembered me of Tinkerbell in her green cocktail dress. At least I wasn't underdressed. "I wouldn't have missed you party. And thanks for your invitation." I had the feeling Alice and I would become good friends. Alice smiled at me and introduced me to her husband Jasper. Jasper had blond hair and was from Texas. For a short second he looked surprised but hide it with a smile. "Nice to meet you." He took my coat and offered me a drink. "Maybe some red wine?" The old Bella would have loved to calm her nerves with alcohol but I only touched my stomach and asked for water instead. Alice' living room was painted in a dark blue. There was one open fireplace. The antique furniture was white. I loved the room immediately. "Your home is really beautiful." I said.

"Thank you. I just love to go shopping. Furniture or clothing, I don't care." There were at least a dozen people in the room. They kind of intimidated me. They were nothing like my friends in New York. I found Rose in the corner next to the fireplace.

"Hey, Bella. How are you? Did you already found a job?"

"No but I had my doctor's appointment today.

"And pink or blue?" She asked eager.

"Yes." Was my only answer, I should have been prepared for this question.

"A girl?"

"No, a boy." In that second I decided to tell them alone about the twins. I wasn't ready to announce my double _joy_.

"A boy. How cute. You know, just yesterday I saw this cute sweater for boys." Alice sat down next to Rose. "Congratulations!" Alice couldn't keep still. After two minutes of talking, she took my hand and introduced me to the other guests. There was Luna, from Spain, and her husband Tom; both were musicians. Tina, a fashion designer and a good friend of Alice. Dirk, a German banker and many other guests. Even David was there and Alice was right, he was defiantly not my type. But no Jacob.

"Jacob will be late and one of Jasper's friends can't come today. He finally has a date with a girl called Heidi. I tried to set them up for months" So Alice liked to play matchmaker. Most of the people here were couples and I felt wrong here. They talked about sports and soccer. At least for an hour I kept quiet. How great could have been my evening? When I think about a movie with Edward in his bed. Again I felt the pain. After two hours cocktails for the others and not for me, it was time for the dinner. To be honest the consumption of alcohol was the common ground with my New York friends and here. Being the only one who can't drink was annoying. On top of that there was no sign of Jacob.

Then, to the end of the dinner, Jacob arrived. I didn't saw him and only heard Alice scream. "Jacob, honey." She was a bit tipsy. "You are always late, right?" I heard how this Jacob apologized and told Alice that there was an emergency. With horror I recognized the voice. Jacob was Dr. Black. With big eyes I saw how my doctor said hello to everyone. I was the last person. For a short second he only wore this typical polite smile but then he was surprised. "Bella, right?"

Rose and Alice shared a meaningful glance.

"Yes I almost forget that you both know each other." Alice said quietly. "Bella shared already her great news with us." Dr. Black looked at me and I already knew what would happen next. Before he could say something I wanted to scream. "Yes, he found out it is a boy." But he Dr. Black was faster. " Yes, twins! Isn't it great?" This evening was horrible and I really wished someone could have saved me.

For the first time this evening it was quiet. Everyone stared at me. I did understand this reaction, after all I always mention just one baby.

"Yes, twins. I'm still in shock. I'll need some days to adjust to that." What a lame excuse. Jacob sat down next to me. "When Alice mentioned 'fantastic news' I thought about the twins. I'm really sorry."

"No problem." I whispered. On top of that Alice lifted her cocktail and said. "Let's toast on our new American friend, Bella and her two babies. Congratulations Bella!"

Great, now I wasn't just the stupid American but also the poor woman with twins. I tried to smile. "Yes, Dr. Black – Jacob – gave me the shock of my life this morning."

Jacob must have felt awkward like me because he ignored me most of the times. Because of that I was surprised that he offered me to drive me home. I thanked him; probably he wanted to do as much damage control as he could. But by the way how softly he put his hand on my bag to lead me to his car, let me know it was more. In his car he started to talk.

"I really feel bad because of tonight. I can't apologize enough."

"No need to worry Dr. Black." This was a test. If he corrects me he wanted more than a doctor/patient relationship. And if this was the case he only offered me a lift out of pity. Instead he said. " Please call me Jacob." He looked at me. Brown eyes with thick, long and dark lashes. His eyes were wrong. Too dark. I missed the green in them.

"Well, Jacob." I flirted lightly. "I accept your apology." He nodded and smiled. "And how do you feel about it?"

"I really need time to accept that there are two people inside me. And I'm not quiet ready for boys. But I'm a little bit excited."

"I just love boys." He was serious. "I have one. His name is Jared."

"Oh how old is he?" I asked.

"He is four years old. They grow up so fast. I have the feeling just yesterday he was this little baby." He started to laugh. The way he said it you could hear he really loved his son. Then he told me he was single. Yep, he was interested. The question was would I really start something with my doctor? I looked outside the window. In front of Edward's apartment he started to talk again.

"Well, maybe you have some free time tomorrow? I could show you some hot spots in the city or we drink tea together?" This was dangerous. I knew I had no chance with Edward. _He has a girlfriend._ And I didn't want to end up alone. So I agreed. To say he was happy about my answer would be an understatement.

"Great. Since you accepted my apology would it be okay if I kiss you now?" He came closer. Jacob was a handsome man and really nice too but it felt wrong. I said yes and he kissed me. All I could think about was Edward. The guilt that I felt was irrational. Edward and I weren't a couple so why did this kiss felt so wrong. We kissed for five minutes. I tried to get Edward out of my head. Jacob kissed my hand and told me goodbye.

Back in the apartment I noticed Edward wasn't there. It was around midnight. He didn't had a meeting – he had a date. I went into Edward bedroom and made myself ready for bed when I head the door. Edward must have seen the light because he didn't tried to be quiet. Or he was drunk like the first night.

"How late it is?" He asked.

"Around midnight." I said and stood in front of him. He smelt like an old ashtray. He smoked again.

"Did you have a great evening?" he asked.

"Yes." With an interesting ending. "And you? Where were your?"

"I wrote."

"Of course." I tried to sound nice.

"What to you mean?" He was confused. He went into the bathroom to change. When he came back he moved into the bed, right next to me.

"Did you really wrote or did you maybe meet your secret girlfriend?"

"You mean Heidi?" He moved closer. How could he cuddle with me and talk about his girlfriend at the same time. He truly had no romantic feelings for me. There was this pain again. I never felt something like that and I didn't want to feel it again. He asked me about the party and started to stroke my baby bump.

"It was okay."

"And did you meet nice people?"

"One or two. How was your evening with Heidi?" I didn't like the name Heidi. The woman looked like a Victoria Secret model and had the name of one.

"She is nice. Funny."

"How long do you know her?"

"I met her today and one time last week."

"Don't play stupid, Edward." His hand stopped moving.

" Is she your girlfriend?" I won't say her name.

"It's not that serious, yet." I felt his hot breath close to my ear. Why did he have to say _yet. _ After twenty minutes of silence Edward whispered: "Again congratulations, Bella. This is awesome." I said thank you and felt one of the boys kick.

"You didn't feel that, huh?"

"What do you mean?" Edward asked. He was still stroking my bump. "The kick."

"No." He kind of sounded sad.

"Do you feel better about it?" he asked.

"A little bit better."

"I'm really happy for you." I moved closer to him. I moved legs until I felt his cold feet. "Love you, Eddie." I stopped breathing. I didn't want to say until he would get the meaning of it.

"Love you too, Bells." Edward wiggled his toes against my feet. I smiled in the darkness and forget all my worries.

* * *

**So what do you think? **

**I don't want to beg or annoy but if you leave a review, you will get a teaser. I would love to know your opinion about the story.  
**

**_Big Question: _Do you have some ideas for names?  
**

**Love, R.  
**


	25. Realization

**Hey guys,  
**

**here is the next chapter. I'm so happy that I finally got some reviews :D (thanks again). I changed this chapter a bit and that's the reason why it took me so long. As always I don't own Twilight and I make mistakes.  
**

**Enjoy, R.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 24 – E POV **

"The babies are fine." She said. _Babies, babies! _Fuck when did that happen? I mean Bella is a skinny girl and yes I noticed she had a big baby bump but two babies. A week ago you could see Bella was not ready to have one child but no clue how she will handle two children. Lost in my own thoughts I noticed Bella's sad face.

"Like in twins?" I had to make sure. Bella is a great actress and maybe she wanted to make fun of me. Before she answered me I lost myself in my fantasy world again. _We were in this white house again. This time in the garden. Bella was sitting on the grass with her hair open. She didn't straighten it. She wore a long, light blue dress and read a book. Sometimes she would touch her round baby bump. Her hair was longer. This must have been her second pregnancy. Sometimes she would caress her stomach and would smile. Yes, she was happy. I moved closer to a small version of our house. You could her laughter inside. It was this typical belly laughter from happy children. The door of the small house was open and there they were. Two small beautiful girls. They both were small copies of Bella. At first they didn't notice it me and talked about Mr. Teddy and his friend Rabbit. As it seem the two of them argued a lot and the girls weren't sure if they should invite them to their tea parties again. They couldn't be cuter. I knocked on the small, dark blue door. _

"_Daddy" they screamed…._

"Yes twins. The doctor only saw the gender of one baby, a boy. He thinks the second baby is a boy, too." My fantasy changed. _There were two small boys. Both were a mix of Bella and Emmett. Just their eye color was different. They were green like mine. My family. _

Just then I noticed Bella crying. How could she be sad about this fantastic news? The next few years would be difficult sometimes but I was there to help. The last few months must really changed Bella. Not just for the better. She thinks he is a failure and I knew why. She lost her best friend, her family was ignoring her and she was alone and pregnant. I felt the strong need to protect her. How could I ignore my feelings for her? She needed me now and I would help her, if she wanted my help. I told her my plans for a relaxing evening but forget her party. And I still had the date with Heidi. Over the last few weeks I started to love our evenings together. What do I say? I loved our time together. Since Bella lived with me I noticed how lonely I was. Bella wasn't perfect but she was just right.

In typical Bella fashion she thought about her dinner invitation. I knew she missed Angela or at least one girl friend. And I also had my date with Heidi. This was all Alice fault. The last three months she told me about her friend. Heidi. How we both would be perfect together.

"Edward, since I know you, you were single. You are a great guy. I'm sure there were many offers. Do you want to stay alone forever? I know the perfect woman for you…" This was her typical rant. I knew Heidi from Alice's parties. She seemed like a nice girl but alone our coffee date was enough.

I was against our meeting from the beginning. I wrote all day and almost forget about it. Thanks to Alice annoying ways she didn't let me forget it. Twenty calls!

Alice was great but I don't get Jasper's patience. Together they were perfect. She was hyper and talked a lot. Jasper was more the quiet guy, a great listener.

So I went to the café near my apartment. _Of course_, Bella had to be there. I didn't want to give her the wrong idea. I wasn't sure about my feelings for her but I knew it was more than friendship. I didn't want to be rude two both women. So I went over to Bella's table and talked with her. When she asked me why I was here, I wish I could have lied. She tried to hide it but for a short second I sadness in her eyes. Maybe she felt the same for me like I did for her. I had no time because I recognized Heidi in the corner.

The first time I met Heidi was at one of Alice's dinner. I remember how shamelessly she flirted with James. Back then I thought she did it because she was drunk, now I know better.

"Hi, Edward." We met each other two times and now she hugged me and gave me a kiss. That was a bit too much for me.

"Hello Heidi, right?" I tried to be as rude as I could be. Heidi noticed my tone and her smile felt.

"I already ordered me one coffee."

"How do you like this place?" I thought conversation was better than silence.

"It's typical England. I love that."

"Do you miss France sometimes?"

"No, I'm here for my model career. London first and then New York." She shamelessly put her hand on my thigh. How I wished it was Bella's touch. We talked about one hour about stupid stuff. Actually most of the time Heidi talked. All my thoughts were with Bella. She looked sad. Before I knew it, I agreed to dinner tonight. The dinner was even worse. She reserved a table at one of the trendy places. The prices were high and the portions too small. Over the night I drank far too much beer. Around eleven o'clock we went to one of the hop nightclubs. I'm not a dancer but too drunk to care. So Heidi and I spent at least twenty minutes dancing. She tried really hard to impress me. She was a beautiful woman. Blonde, blue eyes but I didn't want that. At one point she started to grind against my groin. Like I said she wasn't the one I wanted, so nothing happened. I'm not sure but she even started to flirt with woman. Did she thought this would help? Tomorrow I would have to talk with Alice. Heidi was really beautiful and in the days before Bella I would have started something with her but now I felt nothing. Realization hit me hard. I was in love with Bella. The girl that was completely different than me. She was cursorily and only cared about brands and money. It would never work between us. But then I thought about Alice and Jasper. It could work. It had to work!

I took Heidi's hand and ran outside with her.

"Why do you hurry? Be honest: You want me!" She purred.

"No, I'm sorry. But I have to go now. You are a really nice girl and everything but I have this thing going on." I wasn't drunk anymore.

"It's the pregnant woman in the café, right? I knew it. It's your child? You bastard." She started to hit me. For such a small woman she was strong.

" Yes, and it's none of your business. She is a close friend of mine. It's complicated." Heidi stopped. "You guys say it all the time. James did say the same. He can't leave his bitch of a wife. I had enough of it." To shocked about her news about her and James affair I ignored the rest.

"No. I'm honest it's really complicated." So I told her about Bella. I didn't make the same mistake like with James and Irina. I told her that Bella's fiancé cheated on her and about the pregnancy. I ignored the Riley part. If I ever meet this guy. How could he throw something so perfect away?

"Wow. You really have feelings for her." I only nodded. "This evening must have been awkward for you. Maybe I should apologize."

"No, I should have been honest from the start. Oh and I'm sorry about you and James."

"Don't mention his name in my presence." She started to laugh. "The way Bella looked at you I'm sure she has feelings for you too." I didn't know what to say. Heidi took my hand. "You have my number. Call me when you need help. Or when she broke your heart and you need someone." I ignored her last sentence. I apologized again and said goodbye. Before Heidi went back inside, she went back to me and said: "Girls get jealous easily. Why don't you mention my name one or two times? Bella will react, believe me." I had no clue what she meant. As I drove back home, I thought about Bella. I would complicate everything with my feelings. I didn't want to loose her as a friend and Bella would be alone. Could I be so selfish?

Back in the apartment I searched for Bella. And there she was in my fucking bed. I didn't want it any other way. I want Bella at my side, not just as friend, as my lover, my wife. Okay, wait a minute, marriage? Not so fast Cullen.

We talked about her evening. She missed Angela, she had to. Maybe new friends were a good start. During our talk I moved closer to her. I wanted do feel her heat. She would be never close enough. Right now her baby bump was driving me crazy, I started to stroke it. Tanya loved it. Back then I only did it to feel the baby. Now I wanted to caress and cherish Bella and the boys. Boys, it's unbelievable. The voice in my head screamed they weren't mine but if they look anything like Bella I didn't care. She told me they only saw the gender of baby a. Baby b could be girl. A little girl like Bella. Wait, could I handle that? All the filthy boys going after my little girl? No, I want boys. I could handle them.

And then she asked me the question "How was your evening with Heidi?" Why did she had to ask? I didn't like the way she said it. She thought Heidi and I were a thing. But then I remembered Heidi's advice.

"She is nice. Funny." That was innocent. Bella could react two ways. On the one hand she didn't care about me that way and would stop asking or she would ask more questions.

"How long do you know her?" Ahh more questions. I took it as a good sign.

"I met her today and one time last week." I don't know why but I started to lie.

"Don't play stupid, Edward." I stopped all my movements. This was my sign. She did feel something for me. How far could I take it without hurting her?

"It's not serious, yet." There this answer would give me time. The next twenty minutes we spent in silence. These twenty minutes were the best minutes of my day. Just Bella and me.

"You didn't feel that, huh?" Lost in my own thoughts I almost didn't listen. "What do you mean?"

"The kick." She was happy about it. _Finally! _"No." I was sad about it. I knew I had to wait for the next few weeks maybe I could feel them earlier because they have less space.

"I'm really happy for you." It was true. She finally realized she had to change and accept the babies.

"Love you, Eddie." These three words almost killed me. She whispered them. "Love you too, Bells." I watched her sleep. Sometimes she would smile and one or two times she said my name. I needed help. Could I really tell Bella my feelings? I didn't want to lose her. The only person that could have helped me was my Mom.

.

.

.

The next morning we ate breakfast together.

"You promised me we would spent the day together. You know 'celebrate the wonders'." Bella pouted.

" I know. I'll be back in tow or maybe three hours. And to make it better, I'll bring your favorite cake." I smiled. Today was a good day, a happy day.

"Okay. Oh, I almost forget I have this lunch date."

"With one of your friends?" She never mentioned their names. They were female friends, they had to. I didn't need concurrence.

Bella hesitated. "No nothing special. Why won't we meet each other in the café?"

"Sure, I could show you some of my favorite spots of the city."

"Why not?" She laughed. Bella was never interested in art but maybe she was open to new things.

"Well. I'll call you. Please don't forget it again. You could get lost and I would have no chance to contact or find you." I did worry about her. I read online that twin pregnancies are more difficult.

"Yes, Daddy I promise." She winked.

"I mean it. And take care of our two wonders. Love ya." And I was out. Did I just claimed the babies as my own. I only left Bella alone so I could talk with my mother. I passed one bookstore and went inside. Yesterday I got the great idea to buy Bella some pregnancy books as present. On my way to the right shelf I dialed my mother number.

"Be happy that you are my only son and I love you." My mother groaned. Shit, I always forget about the different time zones.

"I'm sorry Mom but I need your help."

"Otherwise you wouldn't call me. One week mister. I told you to call me more often."

"I know but I kind of have a big problem. It's about Bella." I had no clue how I could explain my feelings for Bella.

"Is everything okay? Should I wake your father? Is something wrong with the baby?" Esme gasped.

"No, stop it. Everything is fine with Bella and the babies." I smiled when I saw a picture book about mothers and their children.

"Edward, you just said babies. Twins? Really. Oh my god. How did Bella react?"

"At first she was worried but I think she is happy about it."

"I totally get her reaction. Think about it. She is alone and now she has two handle two newborns. I was overwhelmed by one." My mother was always protective of Bella. She didn't like the way Renée treated her own daughter.

"I'll help her. She won't be alone."

"Edward, you are a great friend but Bella needs a partner." I tried to tell Esme my problems but then she interrupted me.

"You have feelings for her, right?"

"Yes. It's just … I don't know how to tell her about my feelings. I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"Oh baby. Stop being so negative. I always knew you two would end together." Esme was excited.

"But should I tell her it now? She has a lot on her mind." I asked.

"You two live together and you don't argue like you did before. Just try it honey." She stopped. "I'm going to be grandma and you'll be a Daddy." She was really happy about it.

"Hey wait. I didn't even tell her about my feelings. Maybe she doesn't feel the same."

"Just try it and call me afterwards. I want to know everything." Typical my mother.

"Fine. Go back to sleep. And don't start planning a wedding or nurseries."

"You know me to good." I ended the call and took three books out of the shelf _When you're expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads_; _What to Expect When You're Expecting _and _Your Pregnancy Bible_. These were for Bella. Then I saw a dictionary of first names. This one could be fun, too. The first time I heard Bella was pregnant I thought she would choose a stupid name after a fruit like the celebrities today. Next to me stood a woman with a newborn in her arm.

"First time father?" She pointed to my choice of books. I could tell a stranger my complicated story so I only nodded.

"My husband was like you. He bought tons of books and was really protective, really cute. So how many?"

"Just twins."

"Yes, you are really new to business. One was already hard work. I doubt I could have handled two." She kissed the baby's head. "But it's worth it."

"How old is your son?" I just had to ask. The baby was so tiny. I was scared she would break him.

"Six weeks." She answered proudly. "Oh, I know the perfect book for you. It really helped to calm John's nerves." John must have been her husband. She pointed a small white book _The Expectant Dad's Survival Guide_.

"Thanks and congratulations." In the bookstore I realized if Bella and I have a relationship, I would be a father. Against my expectations I wasn't scared, I was happy almost giddy. I paid for the books and went outside. It was still early so I toke a stroll through the shopping mile. I was lost in my thoughts until I stood in front of a small boutique. They had baby clothes. Against my better judgment I went inside.

"Hello Sir, can I help you?" This is the reason I hate shopping. "No, I'm only looking around." Right next to the shop assistant was table full of stuff for boy and girls.

"This is for newborns. Our starter's pack is really popular. We have it in blue or pink." This young woman was really annoying so I ignored her. In the right corner of the table was a small pink dress. Now I get why Bella wanted a girl. This one was unbelievable cute and so small. I took it in my hand and thought about buying it. But then I saw blue mini socks. I remember how fascinated I was with Logan's small feet. Next to them where two light blue bodysuits. I had to laugh. On the one bodysuit you could read, "I may be little but I'm still The Boss!" If the babies were similar to Bella, this on fit perfect. The other one stopped my laughing, "I'm cute, my Mums cute, my Dad's lucky" Without thinking I took both and the little socks. Since Bella didn't knew about the gender of the second baby, I took the little dress too. I would only give Bella the socks and three of the books. The two bodysuits I'll keep until I know about her feelings. I could only hope.

* * *

**Edward wants to be a Daddy... Awww**

**So next chapter will be Bella's "date". I think two or three chapters until Bella and Edward will be together and then we will have lemons ;D  
**

**I'm still searching a beta and I'm open for more name suggestions.  
**


	26. Change

**And I'm back :D  
**

**Okay nothing much to say. As always I do mistakes and don't own Twilight.  
**

**Have Fun!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 25 – B POV **

"Yes, Daddy I promise." I had to wink. Even through he was seeing Heidi he was protective and sweet to me.

"I mean it. And take care of our two wonders. Love ya." And he was gone. Did I hear wrong? _Our two wonders. _He loved the babies. I had to smile. Just then I noticed I was caressing my bump.

"You think he has feelings for Mommy?" I felt stupid. It was not like they would answer me. " In the movies pregnant women talked with their baby. "So do you think I should tell Edward the truth? I know boys don't talk about their feelings but maybe Baby B is a girl. Don't take it personal but once upon a time I was a girl too. I now at least some thing about being a girl." I felt a strong kick.

"Was that my sign you are annoyed with me or is Baby B confirming his gender." I laughed. Hopefully nobody heard me. I still had three hours until my lunch with Jacob so I started to clean Edward's. Edward can cook better than me but he is a bit chaotic in the kitchen. Afterwards I was so tired that I decided to took a small nap. The last two weeks I was either tired or hungry. No wonder when you have to growing person in your body. Pregnancy wasn't my thing. I knew woman that loved it but I was different. I wasn't just tired and hungry – I was also very horny. Back in my nirvana also known as Edward's bed I thought about relieving myself. This place was just too much. I took Edward's pillow and with his smell I was on my way to fantasy land. Until I heard the phone ringing.

"Hello?" I answered annoyed.

"Honey, did I wake you?" It was Esme. I saw Edward's alarm clock in the corner of my eyes and wondered why Esme was already awake.

"Auntie? Did something happen?"

"No. Why would you thing that?" She was happy.

"Well, it's in the middle of the night in your time zone…"

"Oh, right. Well I was awake and couldn't sleep. You are like my son. You didn't call me once. How are you?" She tried to change topics.

"Oh, I'm fine. Just yesterday I had a doctor's appointment." I stopped. When I was younger I loved spending time with her. She never put pressure on me.

"Tell me everything." She got excited. Esme loved children. After she had Edward, they told her she couldn't have more children.

"I don't know how to say it but in a few month I'll be the mother of twins."

"Oh, honey. I'm so happy for you. You're are happy about it, right? I mean it must have been a huge shock." Esme gasped.

"Yes I was in shock but Eddie really helped me." I touched his side of the bed.

"I wouldn't want it any other way. Do you two still argue a lot?" She laughed. When Edward and I were children and we argued Aunt Esme came to me and told me: "This Edward's way to show you he likes you. Boys in that age act stupid but who knows….maybe in ten or twenty years you both will be together." I would answer: "Never. Boys are stupid."

"Now that you are mention it, we only fought once. It was my fault."

"Then I'm happy. When Edward told me you would visit him. I was worried about you two. So is my son taking care of you?"

"Are we playing twenty questions?" I laughed. "He is great. Sometimes too protective but nothing I can handle."

"I already told it Edward at our last call but why don't you two visit us. Carlisle and I want to see you."

"It's not the best time. To be honest I don't want to see my parents." My eyes watered.

"Oh, honey. Your father really misses you. But if you don't want to. Carlisle and I could visit you around Christmas. I don't want you stuck in a plane for hours. When I was pregnant with Edward, I could never sit long." And there was the difference between Esme and my mother. My mother would have expected me to come. Maybe to show me off or something.

"I would love to see you again but I think I should ask Edward first." I really missed them.

"Of course, you two talk." What did she mean? Maybe Esme was a little bit weird without sleep. "Baby? Where are you?" I heard Carlisle.

"Okay Bella. I woke Carlisle. You take good care of yourself, my grandbabies and of Edward. I know he play hard but sometimes my son needs it." What is today and people claiming my babies. I loved the Cullen.

"Give Carlisle a hug from me. I love you Aunt Esme."

"Goodnight… No wait, I wish you a great day. And call me soon." Esme's and mine talk took almost an hour. I could decide between taking a nap or making myself ready for my lunch date with Jacob. I felt one kick – okay sleeping it was.

Around one o'clock I heard someone knocking. There he was. Jacob Black in an elegant gray suit. He could be Sam out of my stupid fantasy that I had.

"Hello Isabella. This one is for you." He gave me one red rose. I hated roses. They were so typical. My Dad used to tell me I was special and deserve nothing less.

"Aehm, thanks." I took the flower. "Do you want to wait outside? I'll only putt the flower away." I didn't clean the whole apartment. Edward wasn't the tidiest person on this planet. He left his shoes and clothes everywhere.

"Sure. Do you have a roommate?" Jacob's voice got hard.

"Yes. This is actually the apartment of my friend." Yesterday I decided against something with Jacob. It wouldn't be fair to all of us. He wanted to be with me and I wanted something with Edward. Hopefully Edward didn't want to be with Heidi.

I put the flower into my room.

"So what did you plan?" I asked smiling. Jacob tried to took my hand in his.

"I thought about some shopping. I don't want to bore you with museum tours." Like I said Jacob was my Seth guy. "Sure." The last few weeks I spend too much money on stuff that I probably can't wear for the next months. So we went together through the streets. Jacob told me he preferred walking. "I hate this weather. It's always gray and wet" Not to mention cold.

"You'll adjust to it." He laughed. "So tell me what did you do in New York?"

"I worked for a newspaper." I answered while I watched the other people on the street.

"That must have been interesting." I didn't want to talk about New York so I changed topics. "Tell me, when did you decide to become a doctor."

"When I was five years old. Sure I didn't plan to end as gynaecologist but I love my job. All the happy families."

"Wow. I think with five I wanted to be president. Something silly, you know?"

"I think it's normal. Jared is the same." When he said his son's name his eyes stared to shine.

"You son is living with you or …"

"With my ex." His voice got hard.

"It must be hard to see your son only at the weekends." I could never live without my two wonders.

"I call him every night. Sometimes I read him his bedtime story." This guy was perfect but the problem was he knew it. "I don't want to be rude but where is the father?" He pointed to my bump.

"He said he wasn't ready for children." Jacob brought all my bad memories up and I didn't like it.

"Hey, I'm sorry." He tried to took my hand again. "No, it's okay. We better off without him."

"Hey, Jared loves this shop. They have the best cookies in the world. Let's go inside. Drink something warm." He put his hand on my back and it burned. But not in the good kind. "Sure."

"Maybe you don't need to be a single Mum." I looked up to Jacob. We knew each other for two days. This talk was far too early.

"Edward will help me." I smiled when I said his name. "He is really excited."

"This Edward. Do you know him long enough to raise children with him?"

"Sure. I know him at least twenty years. I spent much time at his house." So we talked about my and his childhood. About our hobbies. Further along in our talk I noticed how similar Jacob and I were. We would be perfect together but he wasn't the one that I wanted.

"Edward must be important for you." Jacob hesitated.

"Why would you think that?"

"Well the last forty minutes you mentioned his name pretty often." Jacob smiled.

"Oh. I didn't notice." I really didn't. "I'm sorry."

"You have feelings for him." How was I supposed to react? "Oh."

"Don't worry. I don't take it personal." I had no clue what he meant. He must have seen in it my eyes because he continued. "You love him and it's okay. Maybe when you didn't know him so long, I would have a chance but I'll find my someone soon. I'm never long single." Ha, that must have been the reason his wife left him. He was pretty sure of himself. Sure, he was handsome, had a great job but his personality overshadowed the good facts.

"Thank you. I'm really sorry." I lied.

"Well maybe you should go to my partner in the future. I mean at the practice."

"Oh, okay. I mean there was nothing between us but if you think it's better." He was overreacting. Jacob was a drama queen like I was. I tried to hide my smile.

"Yes. I think it would be too weird but we can stay friends." He gave me the typical break-up line. This guy was fast for one date.

"Sure." I didn't know what to answer. Then my cellphone started to ring.

"Sorry but this one is important." I smiled apologetically.

"Hey!" I didn't want to say Edward's name again.

"Hey Love, I'm finished with my meeting. Should I pick you up?" I heard him walking. But more important: Edward called me Love. I had to laugh.

"Edward?" Jacob asked.

"Who was that?" Edward was angry.

"Äh…a friend. I told you about my lunch date. Do you want to meet in front of our favorite café?"

"Your friend is a guy?" He was pissed.

"What? Yes, a gay friend." The lie was out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

"Oh, okay." He was calmer now. "I'll be there in twenty minutes. Bye sweetheart."

"I am gay?" Jacob stared at me. "Sorry, Edward can be weird sometimes."

"I think he was jealous. Does he know about your feelings for him?" I looked outside the window. It started to rain. "No."

"Well you two should talk. So we could share a taxi." Normally I would have said no but Jacob was nice and Edward thought he was my gay friend. The drive took us ten minutes.

"Thanks, Jacob. How much do I own you?"

"Oh nothing Bella but could you do me a favor? Your friend Edward just recognized you. No, don't look. Just give me a hug and a kiss on my check. He won't care that I'm gay, he will be jealous. Trust me." I wasn't sure what to do but then Jacob act on his advice.

"Bye Baby!" And I was out of the taxi.

"Bella, are you fine?" Edward asked and took my hand. "For a gay friend he enjoyed it a little bit too much to hug you." Edward tried to hide his anger. Jacob was right.

"What? No he only said goodbye. Let's get the chocolate heaven and then back into your bed. I think it misses me." As it seems handholding wasn't enough for Edward.

"Come'ere" Edward pulled my body against his side. I was still tiny next to him. "I already have plans for us four. I was in this great bookstore and have some surprises for you."

"You know I hate surprises." I tried to move even closer to him. "You will like these."

Edward pulled the door to the tiny café open. The owner, an old woman, smiled at her costumer. "Hello what can I get for you?"

"Can I get one chocolate pie?" Edward wanted the whole cake. Sure I ate more than normal but I don't eat that much.

"Of course. Pregnancy cravings can be mean." The woman smiled kindly at me. When she mentions the word cravings, I got hungry for pizza.

"Edward, cud we order a pizza later. With a lot of meat." I tried my puppy eyes. I already tasted the pizza. Both Edward and the woman started to laugh. "Sure, this is your day."

With our cake we went back home.

"Tell me more about your friend?"

"I don't know much. His name is Jacob Black, he has a son and he isn't really gay." The last part of my sentence rushed through my teeth.

"Wait, what? He is not gay?" Edward stopped walking. "No he is not but I only know him because of Rose. She tried to set us up but I was against it."

"Okay but you're not interested in him? He hugged you." Edward was nervous.

"No, I'm sure. Let's go. It's cold and I'm getting hungry." I took his hand. His hands felt so much better than Jacobs. It took us five minutes to our apartment. Back in the warmth Edward led me to the couch "I love you but you won't eat in our bed. I hate crumbs."

"Really? You are against crumbs but leave your clothes every where?" I laughed. Edward looked down on the floor and touched his hair. "I know. I try to change it." This was new. Normally Edward would have started to argue this was his apartment and he could do what he wants.

"So tell me what is the surprise?"

"Well I bought you something." He took the bag behind the couch. "It's nothing special and I didn't wrap it." I took the bag in my hand. The old Bella would have been angry but right now I was just excited. Two books. "Thank you, Edward. I already thought about buying books but the last days were a bit much." I kissed his check. He stopped breathing. "I thought we could read them together." I was still close to him.

"Wow think about it in a few months there will be two babies."

"I can't wait for it. Stop me but I thought we could use your room as nursery. I know it's small but there is space for two small beds." Could he be more perfect? Edward continued to talk but I only watched the movements of his lips. Was Jacob right? Could Edward really have feelings for me? I knew he never had an high opinion of me but I changed myself. "We could color the walls in a soft blue. Maybe we shouldn't do that until we know the gender of the second baby. Our princess deserves purple and pink. Bells, do you listen?" I smiled.

"Shut up!"

"Oh, sorry. I knew I took it too far…"

"No really Edward, for guy you talk too much. Just shut up." I still smiled.

"Bella is everything okay?" I couldn't stop myself and practically threw myself on him. I threw my arms around his neck and just kissed him.

* * *

**Okay, I had to stop somewhere. So what do you think?**

**I kind of changed my plans. My original plan was Bella and Edward involved with other people but I have a different idea now.  
**

**So next chapter we see Edward's reaction :D  
**

**And yes I'm begging again: please review. I want to know what you think. Should I change stuff?  
**


	27. No Words Left

**Hey,**

**I'm really sorry that this chapter took me so long :( but I just started college and got a new job. I'll try to find more time for this story. As always I don't own Twilight...  
**

**A huge Thank you to my lovely _queen cullen0527_ ****for reading the chapter and correcting my mistakes :D **

**Have Fun!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 26 - E POV **

Is this for real? Bella throw herself at me and started to kiss me. At first I couldn't react.I was too shocked and before I could realized what I was doing. I put my hands on her small waist and kissed her back. This was not the first kiss Bells and I shared but this one felt different. Her lips burnt and melted into mine. I moved my lips to her neck and found her sweet point. I feel Bella shivers and hear the sweetest sound out of her with a moan that makes me almost buckle at the knees.

"Oh God, Edward." I never heard something better. Our moment was far to soon over.

"Stop. We should talk about this."

Like a horny teenager I nipped at her throat. "No! Talking is not currently on my mind. I want you."

"Eddie, please. I don't want ruin this." She sounded heartbroken now. I kissed her forehead and settled behind her. "So let's talk. How could you ruin _this?_"

"I don't know! I'm just scared I could lose you." She was still staring at the floor. I moved her hair onto one side and started to kiss her again. She was my new addiction. "Eddie, I'm pregnant and almost every day horny."

"Okay. Sorry." I laughed. Maybe I was still in shock. "Maybe I should tell you first that I'm not together with Heidi and we were never a thing."

"But yesterday…." I interrupted her.

"I don't know why I said that. Maybe I wanted to test you. I loved your reaction. Your reaction was what push me to act on my feelings." I smiled and felt Bella blush.

"Oh." She hit me. "That was mean Eddie."

"Oh come on, you did the same with Jacob." She stared to laugh. "It wasn't my idea." We were silent for the next five minutes. I enjoyed having Bella in my arms.

"Tell me why did you kiss me?" I needed her to say the words.

"Imightbeinlovewithyou."

"What?" I did understand her the first time but she could repeat this over and over again.

"I might be…. No, I'm in love with you. I didn't plan it. It just happened. You were the only one that didn't judge me and you love the babies. My family, even their biological father was against them and you were so happy."

"Hmm what will we do now?" I moved closer to her. She was right. I didn't just love her, I also loved the two wonders.

"You want me? Even though I'm pregnant and the twin aren't yours." She moved her head and looks up to me.

"How I could I not love our two wonders?" My hands ghosted over her bump. "The twins are part of the deal. I don't care about their father as long he stays out of the picture." The last few words were hard to say. I really didn't care about DNA but I couldn't handle Riley. Even thinking his name made me angry.

"No, Riley won't come back. But I don't want to rush into this."

"Well we already sleep in the same bed. Don't tell me you want to throw me out." I played shocked.

I felt her silent laugh. "No, I doubt I could sleep without you." Thank God!

"Hmm, maybe it's time for your second surprise." I gave her the second bag.

"Uh this time it's wrapped." There was old Bella. She wasn't like the other women I knew. Normally they were really careful with the paper but Bells was like a small kid.

"Thank you, Eddie." She squealed. I gave one of the bodysuits and the dress. "You think I'm bossy? Well, maybe you are right." She gave me one kiss on the cheek. It was so difficult not to kiss her again. My desire for her grew over the minutes. Then she had the dress in her hand. "You do know the possibility that Baby B is a girl is really low."

"I know and to be honest I would handle two boys better than a girl. When I think about all boys who could try to steal her first kiss or…"

"You are already protective. How cute. But this dress is really beautiful. Think about it. A small Bella running around us."

"Nope! I want two dirty boys. Baby Three can be a girl."

"You already planning more children." By her facial expression I knew I took it too far. "I'm sorry, it's just…. Sometimes I dream about it."

"No, it's fine. It's just the pregnancy thing is not my cup of tea. Jake told me with twins it gets worse. I doubt I could handle anymore sickness or cravings and don't let me start with all the horrible stories I have heard about birth."

"Are you scared of the pain?" I got what she meant. Tanya screamed like a maniac when she gave birth. Bella nodded. "I would be scared, too. I'm scared. I read some things online. Twins are most of the time early. Maybe there are Doctors we can talk to for more information about twins and their births. We can look into visiting or signing up for birthing class together."

"The one with the ridiculous breathing?" Bella giggled. I loved her laughter. "Yes, like a train." ( heheheooooo.. heheheoooo) I couldn't stop my laughing.

"I'm really happy that I have you, Eddie. You were the one who opened my eyes. I needed that." She looked down. Almost ashamed.

"I didn't want to scream like that at you but I couldn't help myself. I had the feeling you were ignoring your pregnancy and all your other problems." I didn't want to mention Angela.

"You were right…" I interrupted her. "But I could have talked in a normal tone and been nice and not the mean jerk." I kissed her again. I don't know how many minutes we spent that way. "Maybe we should move this party in our bedroom."

"Edward, slow. You know the meaning of the word. Right?" The happiness in Bella's voice was loud and clear. "I know it's just to tempting." She had to know what kind of effect she had on me. The last two weeks I jerked off like a teenager each morning. I felt her hand move and started to hope she would like to continue. "Why don't we search for some names?" This girl is going to be my death. "Sure. I'll go get our cake."

So we ate. Bella must have been really hungry. She was finished in four minutes. "Sorry, this was just too good." She put her plate away. "Let's see what we find." She opened the name book. "Oh this one is good. The top twenty list of boys name in the U.S."

"Ethan is nice but it's number two and my son is special, he shouldn't have to share his name with other children. Think about it, how many Emma's did we have in our pre-school class."

"But nothing too special, right?" I got scared.

"Oh, Eddie. You should see you face." She was on the floor and laughing. "What do you have in mind?"

"Something normal. Just yesterday I read a list of celebrity baby names. I won't call my son _Bear Blu." _The poor child.

"Alicia Silverstone? No not one of my favorite actresses." Bella continued to read the list.

"I like Andrew." I was honest. When I heard Andrew I saw a light brown haired boy. It could have been Bella's.

"Andrew. God, Andrew Garfield is so hot….Opps Sorry pregnancy hormones and everything." She must have seen my face. Really? He was over thirty and looks like a teenager. This was typical Bella.

"But Andrew sounds nice. Let's see what it means." Like I would call my son Andrew now after she told me she had a thing for the actor. "Andrew – it is of Greek origin, and the meaning of Andrew is 'man, warrior'. Hmmm I think I'll write a list with possible names."

"Andrew and Aiden. What do you think?"

"Bella, really? Don't do that to the children. Just because they are twins they don't have to have similar names." I really hated that.

"Yeah, it's kind of silly. And maybe there is a little girl." She was stroking her bump again.

"Nope, no girl this time." I laughed. "I like Jackson."

"No, we would call him Jack. This one is out." She pouted.

"Good thing we have still time. I can see this choice will be difficult."

"Yeah, think about. In the end the baby could end up like you with an ugly or old name." She knew how much I hated Edward but it was a family name.

"Thank you, Isabella." I started to tickle her.

"Stop, I think I have to pee." She screamed. "Say the magical word, Babe."

"Please." She was under me. "I think we really should move this into our bedroom." Victory is mine. "I like that thought." I helped her up.

"God, Edward. You are hornier than I am." She started laughing and run into the bathroom. She was right and I had no shame to hide it. She was driving me crazy. I went next to the bathroom-door. "I'll go outside for a smoke." She didn't know I tried to stop smoking. Outside in the cold, I took out my phone.

"Hello?" It was more a question.

"Hi, Dad. Could you give me Mom?" Shit I forgot the time thing again. It should be morning there.

"Sure." I heard him walking. "Here, your son. I'm too tired to talk. Where is coffee?" Carlisle was no morning person.

"Honey, is everything alright with Bella?" Mom asked.

"Thanks Mom and yes. She is not the reason I'm calling. Fuck no, she is the reason I'm calling." Maybe I was still in shock.

"Don't use that word. Now calm down."

"Mom, Bella kissed me. She has the same feelings like I have."

"Oh, Baby this is great." She laughed. "Carlisle, Bella and Edward are a couple." In the background you only heard a growl. "Carlisle and I are so happy. You know how he is in the morning. But are you ready for the responsibility? A child is a lot to handle. Please don't break her heart."

"I'm ready." I was sure.

"You say that know. Take it slow. Take her on a date or something. Maybe Carlisle and I should come for a visit." She was already planning.

"No, Mom. We need our time. I just called you to tell you the news. Bella changed and I think together we are ready for everything." By the end of my rant I wasn't that sure. I had to think about Angela.

"If you say so. I'll call Bella in a few days and ask her about our visit. I want to see Bella with a baby bump. She needs motherly support."

"She is adorable. She looks like she swallowed a beach ball."

"See and you won't let your own mother visit and see it herself. You cruel man." She made fun of me.

"Mom, I should go back inside. Bella is waiting."

"I'm happy for you, Edward. And I hope it will work for you." My mother was the best.

"Thanks. Love ya!" I finished the call and went back inside. Bella was already in bed. I want that and it wont change.

"Sorry, I got a call from Esme." I stripped out of my clothes and moved behind Bella.

"God, you're cold. Lord of the Rings is about to start." I hugged her closer. She was my life now and in a few months we would be parents. I wanted that. My mother is wrong. We could make it. Bella fall asleep almost immediately when the movie started. I watched her sleep and thought about my mother's words. Was I ready?

* * *

**So what do you think? **

**(I beg for reviews) ;D  
**


	28. Beautiful Morning

**Hey guys,  
**

**here is the next chapter. This is a "I'm still alive" chapter. Just happy times for our two lovebirds. Again I don't own Twilight.  
**

**A huge thank you to the lovely _queen cullen0527 _for her help **

**Enjoy, R.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 28 – E POV **

I stared at her for long time. It seemed like the babies were too excited to sleep. I feel them moving around under my hand. Realization hit me strong this is my family. Only in a few months I would be the father of two children. Did it scare me? –Hell, yes! But I was excited at the same time. Bella didn't notice the party in her bump she was sleeping.

"You guys will wake up Mommy!" I stroked the small bump. This wasn't our first conversation. Most nights when Bella slept, I talked to our two wonders. I told them about my day, their mother or our childhood. "Your mommy is a night owl, too. Don't kick too hard." Closing my eyes I could see our future. Bella, our two boys and me taking a walk in the park. All of us laughing. With that picture I fall asleep.

I felt someone stroking my cheek. "Hmm…" I tried to move closer to the warmth but she was moving. "Stop, it's too early. Come back."

"I need to get up, Edward" with that Bella started to laughed. With a quick move I was on top of her.

"Eddie!" Bella giggled. Her hair was a mess but she was still the most beautiful woman on this planet.

"You smell good, baby." I lowered my face into the curve of her neck "you look even better." Gently I tugged her hair behind her ear as I kissed her. It wasn't a wild, passionate kiss but alone her taste brought my body on fire. When she started to moan the monster inside awoke. My cock reacted immediately. The kiss started slow and gentle but left both of us out of breath.

"We should start each morning like this." Bella's lips were still parted. A whimper was her only answer. Her moans did thinks to me. I run my lips along the length of her jaw and can't get enough. Why did she smell so good? This was pure torture. For a short second she stopped breathing, she wanted more.

I look into her eyes and see love. She is what I want. Without thinking I took her face in my hands and run my nose against hers.

"Bella." I breathed and ran my tongue along her lip, sucking it with my teeth. How could she taste so good? Carefully I lowered my mouth to hers. Sure we shared some kisses in the past but this was different. For a short moment I thought about our agreement to go slow but it was far too late. I would not hide my desire for her. She should know what she is doing to me. My cock is tightly pressed against her. I was so turned on that didn't know how much more I could take.

"Is this alright?" I asked, kissing my way down her neck.

"This is more than alright. Please don't stop!" Fuck her answer wasn't more than a whisper. Fuck, I don't know what I would have done if she said no. My hand which was next to her hip starts to run up to her breast. Thanks to her pregnancy her breasts were full and heavy now and I couldn't wait to taste them. Her thin nightie didn't cover much. I pull the straps down her arms and enjoy the new view. Playfully I flick my tongue over the hardened nipple and Bella began to groan.

"Oh my God!" She gasped. This was heaven how could have I waited so long for this. Both breast deserved my attention. I took her other nipple between my fingers and played with it.

"I know you wanted slow but Bella you are killing me!" To make myself clear I pushed my erection against her sweet point. Only my boxers and her panties were separating us. "More?" She had the power here and she should know it.

"Yes, please." She closed her eyes. I had wanted her for so long. I gave one last kiss to on of her sweet breast before I moved lower. This was one of my fantasies for the last few weeks. I push her legs open and I got hit by her sweet smell. I lick my lips in anticipation. This was all mine and I would never share it. Before I pushed her panties away and I lock my eyes with her. She smiled at me and I felt in this moment was pure joy.

"Ready?" I couldn't hide my smile.

"Don't tease me. These pregnancy hormones are killing me. You either do something or I do it myself." And there was my bossy girl. Before she could say more I tease her clit. Best way to shut her up. "Fuck!" she said loudly. Without waiting for her next reaction I move my mouth to her pink lips. It was the first time I had tasted her.

"Edward, don't stop. I need more." Enjoying her begging I move my lips to her beautiful thigh. I want her to feel the full experience. _I was the one giving her pleasure. __No one else. She was mine. Gently I put one finger inside her. Her tight pussy was gripping it like crazy. I stroke her clit with my tongue as she tugs on my hair. I knew Bella was passionate. Her whole body trembled. After a few minutes she starts to move her hips as she was coming. She trashes in our bed as I drink her. I can't describe her taste but it was the best taste in the world._

As she comes down from her orgasm I kiss my way up to her face.

"Hey!" I couldn't stop smiling.

"Hey! This was not my original plan for this morning but I can't complain. Thank you." She started to stroke my hair.

"I don't think I can go slow." I was honest.

"I noticed but I don't want to rush things. This is too important for me." In her eyes I could see her fear. To be honest I had no answer for her. I could promise her everything will be perfect but I don't know the future. "Baby, I'll try my best to make you happy."

"I know." Her eyes got glassy. "Please tell me you won't cry." I hate crying girls. I can't handle tears.

"This is too perfect. After the last few months I wait for bad things to happen. Yes, most of the stuff in the past was my fault". "But I am trying to be better I really am but I'm scared the universe wants to punish me. I'm scared I could lose you or something could happen to the babies." Her words were my affirmation for her change. Bella never cared about other people or what people thought about her. The old Bella didn't acknowledge the feelings of other people.

"Oh, Bella. Stop! Not everything was your fault and if you want to change then I'm here to help you. You don't have to change completely. Why not try to contact your family again, maybe even Angela. I think they would be happy to hear from you." I saw a small chance to see if she would try with her family again and Angela too.

"I talked to Emmett but my mother? No, I can't. I could never behave like she did. What kind of mother is she? I was never good enough for her. I will love my two wonders always." She touched her small baby bump. "What about Angela? I don't know. I still need time." I could live with that answer. At least her brother knew where she was. I noticed she didn't mention Charlie. Bella was a totally Daddy's-girl. She probably missed him a lot. I decided I will call him soon. Maybe I could talk to him without Renee's influence or Renee around to put her two cents in.

"We have all the time in the world." I kissed my way from her neck up to her lips. "Stop worrying at least for today. This is our day. "I felt her smile.

"Did you plan something?"

"Not really but you could take a long hot bath. While you are doing that I could cook for us. Then I could show you my favorite places in London and tonight we could go out with some of my friends." As I answered her question I realized I forgot Jasper's invitation.

"You want to introduce me to your friends? They are not like James and his bitch of a wife, right?" Bella was worried.

"No, I promise you they are both very nice. You will like my friend's wife. She is kind of addicted to shopping like you." I laughed as I saw Bella's pout.

"I'm not addicted. Okay we will go but only if you are making breakfast." Not to hurt her feelings I agreed.

* * *

**Don't forget to review, please :D **


End file.
